


Marvel Elementary

by cutielemon07



Series: Marvel Elementary [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, X-Men (Comicverse)
Genre: Avengers codenames, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky and Daisy Johnson Friendship, Bullying, Canon Disabled Character, Deadpool Just Because, Deaf Clint Barton, Fanboy Phil Coulson, Foster Care, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inhumans (Marvel), Kid Avengers, Loki Does What He Wants, Mentions of 50 Shades of Grey, Mentions of Cancer, Mentions of War, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:50:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 14
Words: 52,285
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cutielemon07/pseuds/cutielemon07
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers all have their own problems. Clint is mostly deaf, Phil has home-life issues, Tony has problems with his heart, Bucky has a prosthetic arm and PTSD from the accident and Steve has a slew of medical issues.<br/>The X Men also have problems. And so do the Guardians of the Galaxy. And given that the general public are just learning about the existence of the Inhumans, the question is who could get powers and have to deal with those too? And more importantly, how will everyone deal with their problems while still being children in elementary school?<br/>Be prepared to relive some of the stupid things you may have done when you were kids.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sam's First Day

Sam Wilson inhaled deeply and put his hand on the door handle, retracting it quickly after a few seconds. He whimpered to himself, before furrowing his brow and inhaling, once more putting his hand on the door handle. He tried so hard to push the handle down, but it wouldn't go. He grunted softly.

"Okay Sam. You can do this." He said, taking a deep breath and pushing the door open, closing his eyes and holding his breath as he walked through. All noise from behind the door stopped and when Sam opened his eyes, he realized why. All eyes were on him.

"You must be Sam Wilson." A kindly voice said with a slight accent that Sam couldn't place.

Sam looked up at the man addressing him and nodded.

"I'll be your teacher, Mr. Selvig." The man said, smiling.

Sam nodded again.

"Why don't you tell us about yourself?"

Sam looked at him again and shook his head fiercely.

"No? Well, okay." The man shrugged. "There's an empty seat over next to Clint and Phil, why don't you take that?" He offered.

Sam simply shrugged and found the empty seat and sat down. He raised his head nervously and glanced over at the two boys sitting next to him.

The boy on his left had light brown hair and he was wearing a black hoodie with a purple t-shirt. That's okay, right? After all, it's not pink.

The boy to his right was wearing glasses had dark brown hair-in fact, it almost looked black-and he was wearing blue jeans, a blue zip up hoodie unzipped just low enough that it exposed a Green Lantern t-shirt. Sam put his head down and noticed the boy was also wearing blue Converse. Sam didn't have to guess what this boy's favorite color was.

Sam looked over his shoulder to see a brown haired girl listening intently to Mr. Selvig and vigorously scrawling notes. Sam put his head in his arms and groaned softly. After a few seconds, he felt something tap on his shoulder.

"Psst! Hi!"

Sam looked up. It was the boy on his right-glasses boy.

"Yeah, hi!" He whispered more enthusiastically.

Sam looked at him stoically, not saying a word.

"You don't know my name?" He asked.

Sam continued his neutral expression.

"I'm Philip, but everyone calls me Phil."

No change in Sam's expression.

"You like comic books?" Phil asked. "I _love_ comic books!" He beamed.

Sam turned his head away from Phil and put his head in his arms again.

"Oh. Okay." Phil said, feeling hurt. "But _Green Lantern_ is my favorite comic." He added, just so the new boy would know. Phil looked over at the boy to Sam's left and the boy to Sam's left looked over to Phil, who shrugged. They shared weird hand movements for a few minutes before Sam lifted his head and looked at their odd method of communication.

"What... What are you doing?" Sam mumbled.

"ASL. American Sign Language." Phil informed him proudly. "Clint is deaf. He can't hear so we use our hands to talk to each other."

"So you're friends?" Sam asked. He looked over at Clint, who smiled back at him. Quickly, he turned his head to look at Phil, who was moving his hands again. Sam looked quickly back at Clint who smiled and nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah. We have other friends, but we're friends with each other too." Clint happily said. Sam's eyebrows knitted together as he turns his gaze towards Phil.

"You said he couldn't hear."

"He can't. I said what you said, but with my hands."

"The word you're looking for, Phil, is 'translated'." Sam looked behind. It was the brown haired girl and she looked smug with herself. Sam looked back at Phil, whose eyes were closed.

"Thank you, Jane." He said sarcastically.

"Don't be snarky with me, Phil."

"Don't interrupt my conversations, JANE!" Phil said louder.

"Phil, Jane, is something going on?" Mr. Selvig asked.

"No, Mr. Selvig." The two said, sheepishly. Clint made some hand movements, which didn't go unnoticed by Mr. Selvig.

"Thank you, Clint." He said, kindly, moving his hands as he talked. Clint looked at Phil with his head cocked and a big smile on his face.

Sam looked confused and shrugged at the teacher.

"Clint informed me that Jane interrupted your conversation, though you really shouldn't have been talking anyway."

"Sir, I asked about 'this'." He said quietly, waving his hands as he talked.

"Ah!" Mr. Selvig smiled in realization that the new boy didn't know about Clint's communication issue. "Teachable moment, kids." He set down his textbook and picked up a dry wipe pen. He drew a stick figure. "Clint Barton," He began as he labelled the stick figure 'Clint'. "As most of you know, is deaf." He said, crudely drawing a picture of an ear and struck a line through it as he said 'deaf'. "He can't hear."

Sam saw Clint smiling and nodding from the corner of his eye.

"How do we talk to him and any other deaf kids?" Mr. Selvig asked. He looked around the room as he awaited a response. "You can't." He said. "So we use a different form of communication." He scrawled the letters "A", "S" and "L" on the whiteboard. "American Sign Language." He said, signing it out, slowly and carefully. "While all you that are able to hear can listen to my words, I can move my hands and body in certain ways that Clint is able to _see_ my words. Sign Language is not standard. Other countries have their own versions, even English speaking countries."

Sam's eyes opened wide in awe. He had no idea about any of that. Sign language.

"ASL is primarily used by deaf people, mute people, people who can't talk or express themselves well, such as non-verbal autistics and their friends and relatives." Mr. Selvig picked up his textbook once again. "Of course, it would also be useful for spies and deadly assassins too." He added under his breath.

Sam turned to see Phil signing excitedly to Clint. Sam turned to Clint who looked down at his backpack before gently kicking it under his chair. He brought his finger to his lips and smirked mischievously.

Feeling uneasy, Sam asked "What's in there...?"

"You'll find out later." Phil's expression mirrored that of Clint's.

* * *

In the cafeteria that lunch time, Sam had just paid for his meal of pizza, fries and Jell-O and was looking for a place to sit when he heard a voice call out rather loudly; "Come sit with us, my new friend!"

He turned around and saw a boy with long blonde hair wave excitedly at him. Phil and Clint were also there. Sam figured that the blonde haired boy and the others were their friends and went to sit with them.

"H-hi." He stuttered.

"Hey! You made it!" Phil said.

He and Clint exchanged sign language with each other.

"What's he saying?" Sam asked.

"He said 'I _still_ don't know his name' and honestly, neither do I." Phil said thoughtfully.

"It's Sam." He said, poking his fries listlessly with his fork. "Sam Wilson."

"Well, you know Clint Barton already, I'm Phil Coulson-but you knew that too." Phil smiled.

"I'm Natasha." A red headed girl said. "Natasha Romanoff and yeah, it's Russian." She smiled, as she ate a fry. "Because my parents and I are Russian immigrants."

"Steve Rogers." The short, scrawny kid next to him said. He had dirty blonde hair and big blue, expressive eyes. "And this is the best friend I have in the world, James Barnes." He said, putting a hand around a long brown haired boy. They both smiled.

"Everyone just calls me 'Bucky' though."

"Why?" Sam asks, looking puzzled at the pair.

"My middle name. It's Buchanan." Bucky shrugged as he lifted his pizza up to his mouth. Sam could see that Bucky's left arm wasn't real and it sent a brief shiver down his spine.

"I am Thor and this is my twin brother Loki!" Sam looked over to the other end of the table. It was the excitable blonde haired boy and he was wearing a t-shirt with the image of a Pop Tart on it, much like how Steve and Bucky were wearing matching t-shirts with stars on them.

"Indeed." Said a much colder voice. It belonged to a black haired boy. "I am Loki Odinson. And my brother is Thor Odinson."

"Yes!" Thor shouted excitedly. "I am the older brother!"

Loki simply rolled his eyes at his brother and growled quietly, but angrily. "We are the sons of Odin." He finished.

"Not really though? Right?" Sam asked nervously.

"Not really. Their parents were just eccentric when it came to names. Except their sister. She's called Angela. But their dad, he really _is_ called Odin. Teaches here too." A boy sitting at the end of the table replied.

Sam was brought up not to judge others, especially since he was black, but the way this boy was sitting, eating, acting and talking said to Sam that this boy was selfish and annoying. "And what does 'axe-center-ict' mean?" He asked, slightly annoyed.

"Yeah, come on, not everyone's as smart as you are, you know?" Steve said,

"It means weird. Strange. Odd. Out of the ordinary. Not normal." The boy arrogantly picked up a forkful of food and put it in his mouth. "Where _are_ my manners?" He asked once he'd swallowed his food. "I'm Tony, Tony Stark-yes _the_ Tony Stark, son of billionaire inventor Howard Stark."

Tony looked slightly embarrassed when he noticed Sam's expression of indifference. "Yes... Well..." He mumbled. "Bruce!" He whispered aggressively, elbowing the wavy brown haired boy next to him who had his nose stuck deep into a book.

"Bruce Banner." He said, looking up from his book. "I love science. Physics, biology, chemistry, psychology, anatomy-anything really. Science is awesome. When I grow up, I wanna be a scientist." He smiled, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"And I wanna be a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist!" Tony laughs. "And I'm already halfway there!"

"Give it a break, Stark!" A voice barked from the other side of the table. Sam looked over and saw another black boy, just like him.

"Who are you?" Sam asked.

"Nick Fury. Call me by Nick or Fury, I don't care." Nick gave a one sided shrug.

Sam noticed that Nick was wearing an eye patch. Great. "So one of you has one arm, another has one eye, does anyone have one leg?"

"No, but I got this!" Tony stood up and lifted his red hoodie and his yellow t-shirt to reveal his bare chest. Only there was something glowing light blue in the center of it.

"Do I wanna know?" Sam asked, disgusted as Tony lowered his clothes.

"It depends if you're into tales of swashbuckling pirates on the seven seas and...!"

"He was kidnapped for a ransom off his father, only there was bad communication between the kidnappers and Tony ended up getting blown up and now he has like metal grating around his heartâ€¦ Or something." Natasha said smugly as she finished off the last of her fries.

"Aww. You're no fun, Natasha." Tony pouted as he sat down. "Yeah, it's a mini arc reactor and it basically keeps the bits of metal from killing me." He looked around at the puzzled expressions on his friends' faces. "It's a life support machine and I invented it for myself." He explained, in simpler terms.

"Wait, _you_ built that, all on your own?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yeah. Mostly. I had a bit of help from my computer-and I don't mean _Google_ -but yeah. Pretty much. The technology existed, I just made it smaller." Tony said, picking up his juice drink. "And fitted it into my chest." He added under his breath.

The short haired girl sat next to Clint spoke up next. "And I'm Maria Hill and yeah, I've got all my limbs and I've not got a weird heart like Tony has either."

Sam opened his mouth to say something.

"Or any other part of my body." Maria finished.

"I just noticed something." Tony said, putting his hands into the front pouch of his hoodie. "Rhodey's not here."

"Where _has_ friend Rhodes been today?" Thor asked as he opened his lunchbox. He gave a disappointed sigh when he saw there were no Pop Tarts.

"I don't know, Brother. I haven't seen him all day." Loki said coldly, staring at his sandwich. He lifted the top slice of bread in disgust at the topping inside. Ham.

"Maybe he's sick." Steve offered.

"Sorry, but we're not _all_ as sickly as _you_ are, Steve." Tony said as a wicked smile flashed across his face.

Bucky noticed and stood up. With his eyes narrowed, he calmly began to walk over to Tony.

"Oh, come _on_ , Bucky, lighten up. I didn't mean..." Tony was cut off by a punch to the groin.

"And don't you _dare_ insult Steve again." Bucky said icily. "We don't like bullies in this group, Tony." He made his way back to his seat and sat down next to a shocked looking Steve.

"I'm not a bully!" Tony gasped.

"Good." Bucky said. "Because you would just _hate_ to get a punch from my metal arm." Tony looked a mixture of shocked, afraid and like he was about to push his luck.

Phil decided to change the subject. "So Clint has something to show us all." He said with a smile. The table fell quiet as everyone but Sam signed frantically to Clint, who grinned back at them.

"It's in my backpack." He stifled his giggle as Mr. Selvig passed their table.

"What's in your backpack, Clint?" He asked, signing the words out.

"My uh... Homework, Sir." Clint said sheepishly as he bowed his head, his eyes still fixed on his teacher.

Mr. Selvig gave a disbelieving grunt, but said nothing more. "Very well, kids. Carry on." He walked away and everyone but Sam burst into laughter.

"I don't get it." Sam shrugged.

Clint noticed the shrug and stood up, before reaching down for his backpack.

"Clint, what are you doing?" Sam asked and Phil interpreted.

"You'll see." He replied with a smirk. Everyone else stood up and Sam couldn't help but notice that they were all grinning from ear to ear-even the cold and distant seeming Loki.

"Come on!" Phil grabbed Sam's hand as everyone exited the cafeteria.

* * *

"Now hold still." Nick said as he placed an apple on Sam's head.

They were all crowded around behind the dumpsters and had Sam backed against a wall.

Nick backed away with a smirk as the rest of the kids parted to let Clint through.

Thor jumped into a dumpster and emerged after a few seconds holding a weird looking bag.

Clint gave him the thumbs up and Thor jumped out the dumpster to hand him the bag.

"What's going on here, I...?"

"Come on!" Nick said authoritatively. "I said 'hold still', didn't I?"

Sam watched as Cling took something out of the bag. It looked like an arrow. But it couldn't be-he didn't have a bow. Clint put the arrow carefully in his mouth as he took something out of his backpack. What was it? It was a broken chunk of metal? Clint unfolded it and a look of horror flashed over Sam's eyes. It _was_ a bow.

"I gotta get out of here, sorry..." Sam tried to escape, but Nick pushed him back to the wall and put the apple back on his head.

"What's the matter with you?" Nick said angrily. "I said don't move!" He moved out the way as Clint took up proper position.

Clint took the arrow from between his teeth and pulled it back against the bow. Breathing out, he released the arrow.

Sam saw the arrow hurting towards himself at top speed. He ducked and closed his eyes before hearing a * _thunk_ *. He opened his eyes again and realized he wasn't hurt. He looked up and saw the arrow, in the wall of the school with the apple speared into it.

Sam looked over to Clint, who handed his bow over to Phil and began to walk over to Sam. Sam moved out the way, figuring Clint would want to retrieve his arrow. What surprised Sam was how Clint pulled the arrow out of the school with such ease.

Clint offered Sam the apple, but Sam declined with a shake of his head. Clint shrugged and took a bite out of it, still speared on the arrow.

"How... How did he do that?" Sam panted.

"Archery is his sport." Phil shrugged. "He's the youngest of two and he's deaf. He had to get noticed by his parents somehow that wasn't for pity, so he became a good shot."

"No, I meant the arrow." Sam clarified. "How did he take it out the wall so easy?"

"It's just cork painted to look like the school wall." Bruce said. "Clint practices here all the time."

"At school?" Sam asked, still not recovered from his shock.

"Yeah." Phil shrugged nonchalantly. "He can't get in all the hours at home, so he practices here too." He walked over to Clint and put his arm around his close friend, before giving the skilled young archer his bow back.

Phil signed a few words to Clint who nodded enthusiastically.

Clint pointed at his backpack and Loki, who was closest to it, picked it up and handed it to him. He folded up his special bow and put it carefully in his backpack before gratefully taking it off Loki. He waved before leaving with Phil running after him.

Sam was confused by the events that had transpired around him and turned to whoever was next to him and asked "What's the deal with those two?"

It was Maria that responded. "We all started kindergarten together. Clint was often by himself. We assumed he didn't want to play with anyone so we left him alone. In first grade, Phil got a new neighbor-their kid is deaf and Phil put the pieces together." She looked down. "He figured that Clint wanted to be friends and play, but didn't know how since he couldn't hear."

"Apparently, he got his neighbor to even teach him some basic sign language." Natasha interrupted. "Showed it to Clint. He was so excited that someone had taken the time to learn to communicate with him that they just instantly became friends."

"And since we were friends with Phil, we became friends with Clint, too." Nick added.

"Huh." Sam grunted thoughtfully.

"They don't really like to be separated." Bucky sighed. "At least not for very long. Although we all know some sign language, we don't really know it like Phil does."

"Bucky's right." Steve shrugged. "They're best friends, but Clint needs Phil more than he'll ever tell. But Phil needs Clint too."

"It's called 'symbiosis'." Bruce stated proudly, but everyone except Tony just stared at him blankly. "Uh... It's a relationship of mutual benefit and/or dependence." He explained. Everyone still stared blankly.

"Clint needs Phil and Phil needs Clint. They're both getting something from each other." Tony explains in simpler words. "Friendship, companionship, love..."

"Love! Eew!" The girls giggled.

"I meant like brotherly love, but yeah. Whatever." Tony sourly folded his arms across his chest.

* * *

The kids took their seats after lunch break was over. Sam knew that he was sitting in between Clint and Phil. When he saw them enter the classroom, he immediately stood up.

"Uh, Phil?" He asked nervously. "Do you wanna sit where I'm sitting?"

"Why?"

"I heard off Natasha and Maria that you're best friends with Clint. I don't wanna separate best friends." He mumbled.

"I'm used to sitting away from Clint. Actually, Mr. Selvig encourages it." Phil shook his head and smiled.

"Apparently we sign with each other too often." Clint said, sitting down at his desk.

"I thought he couldn't hear?" Sam asked.

"He can't. Well, not extremely well." Phil turned to Clint. "What is it? Eighty percent deafness?" He asked carefully.

"Yeah. Exactly." Clint nodded. "I can lip read, but not brilliantly."

"Wicked." Sam nodded back. "What's it like being friends with each other?" He asked.

"It's really normal." Phil replied. "When you move past the sign language, you see Clint for who he is, a normal kid who likes comic books, candy and archery." He shrugged.

"Huh." Sam grunted thoughtfully. He hadn't spent that much time with Phil, Clint and their friends, but already he felt that he belonged with them. Maybe it was because he wasn't bullied by them, like he had been at his other schools, or maybe it was that he felt like they trusted him with such personal information. Either way, it was a nice feeling.

"Class, take your seats!" A voice called out loudly from the front of the classroom.

Sam looked away from Phil and saw that Mr. Selvig had entered the room and sat down at his desk. There was an awful sound that filled the classroom of chairs scraping against the floor.

Sam cringed at hearing it, but noticed that his teacher didn't seem too bothered by it, figuring that Mr. Selvig had heard the noise often enough over many years-he looked pretty old after all-to be used to the terrible sound by now. He also realized that Clint for sure wouldn't be bothered by the noise and it was the first time Sam didn't actually feel sorry for him for being deaf. Sometimes it had its advantages, he figured.

As Mr. Selvig called attendance, Sam looked around for his new acquaintances. He saw Tony sitting in the far corner on his right. In front of him were the Odinson twins, the easily excited Thor and the cold and sarcastic Loki. At the front of the classroom, he recognized Steve and Bucky. Steve, because he's the smallest and scrawniest kid in the whole room and Bucky because he'd taken off his hoodie and his prosthetic arm was in full view. Sam could see someone in the front row turning to look at him with a redhead girl. He recognized the boy as Bruce, but not the girl.

"Natasha?" Mr. Selvig called out. A hand to the right of Phil shot up. At least Sam knew where she was sitting. He looked behind and realized the boy behind Clint was Nick and sitting behind him-doodling on a notebook-was the short haired Maria.

There were plenty in the class that Sam didn't recognize, or the names. He recognized Jane's name, of course, but who was Darcy? And Virginia? Carol? Jessica? Peter? Another Peter? That's going to be confusing. Hank? He didn't know there was anyone his age called Hank. Janet? Very similar to Jane and also confusing. James? James? James? Why were there so many boys called James? Stephen? Great, another double name. Sif? What kind of a name was _Sif_? At least it's not James. Sam's name was the last to be called out.

"Alright, kids! Welcome to English class!" Mr. Selvig said enthusiastically. He almost sounded like Thor. "Today we're going to carry on readingâ€¦" He picked up a book from his desk and held it aloft. "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets." He set the book down with a * _thud_ *. "But first, I need someone to deliver this note to Ms. Carter. I _know_ I could just email her, but as you all know by now, she's very traditional."

Several hands shot into the air, with the exception of Sam's and Clint's. "Alrightâ€¦ Let me see." Mr. Selvig mused. "How about our very ownâ€¦ Star Prince." He said, going over to a table in the second row.

"It's Star _Lord_." The boy huffed.

"Yes, my apologies." Mr. Selvig said dryly and not apologetic in the slightest. A boy with messy brown hair stood up. He wore a red zip up hoodie that exposed a powder blue t-shirt and a set of headphones around his neck. He stuffed his right hand into his jeans pocket, snatching the note from Mr. Selvig as he exited the room, brown boots thudding against the floor tiles as he walked.

"Is he the type of person I think he is?" Sam asked as he leaned in to talk to Phil.

"Why? What kind of person _do_ you think he is?" Phil asked.

"Jerk. Slacker. Just generally trouble."

"Nah, he's alright. Peter Quill. He's just acting out like that because his mom's sick with cancer." Phil whispered back. "He's got bags of personality, but he's a bit of a pushover." He shrugs. "There's a girl in third grade that he just lets walk all over him. Nebula Titan. Stay away from the Titans. They're trouble."

"Uh, I don't know who this Nebula girl is." Sam said, wondering what country this girl came from to have a name like that.

"Trust me." Phil whispered in a groan. "You soon will." Natasha leaned forward so Sam could see her and nodded vigorously, mouthing 'bad news'. Clint rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Uh... What are you talking about?" It was Jane from behind. Phil turned around.

"Nebula." He said, emotionless.

Jane winced at the sound of his name. "That girl's a hundred percent insane." She said. "She's in the third grade, but she's the same age as most of us. She just seems to think he can get away with picking on us because she's in a lower grade."

"Still." Another voice added. "She's not as bad as Shiro." Sam looked towards the direction of the voice and saw a small black haired boy sitting next to Jane. He was _really_ small, like 'his feet didn't even touch the ground' small. Probably smaller than Steve. "Her sister Gamora's alright though-a bit weird, but alright."

"Yeah." Jane agreed. "The bullies seem to be in the lower grades. That way they can target the older grades and when we fight back, it looks bad on us."

"Scott would fight back for Alex against anyone." The black haired boy said. Jane shrugged.

"I'm sorry, who are Scott and Alex?" Sam asked.

"Scott Summers, fifth grade. He has four younger siblings. Nathan who's in third grade, Alex who's in second grade, Rachel, who's in first grade and Hope who's in pre-k." Phil said. "Scott isn't afraid of looking bad. Anyone who picks on them is getting a punch."

"Third and fourth row, I'm watching you." Mr. Selvig said.

Star Lord dragged his feet through the door and half-heartedly dropped a note onto Mr. Selvig's desk. He sat down at his desk and slouched into the chair with a long groan.

Mr. Selvig picked up the note and read it. He lowered the note and looked out at his class.

"I'm going to have to leave for a few minutes. Ms. Carter wants to see me personally." Mr. Selvig says after a few seconds silence. "Steve and Bucky are in charge." He says as he turns to leave the room. "Can't trust the rest of you." He mutters under his breath as he walks through the door.

Sam turned to face Jane. "I thought you didn't like Phil?"

Jane smiled. "Nah, he's alright. He can be a bit of an idiot, but he's fine."

"So who's Mrs. Carter then?" He asked.

"Not _Mrs._ , it's Ms.!" Jane corrected, with a smile. "Ms. Carter teaches fifth grade." She said. "And Steve Rogers has a crush on her!" She said loud enough for Steve to hear. He blushed bright red.

"No I _don't_!" Steve looked down, awkwardly. Bucky was smiling, which was a good thing, especially given that his fist nearly went through Tony's groin earlier.

"Steve, you do. You can't really deny it." Bucky said, looking down on his diminutive friend. "I'm sure even Ms. Carter knows that herself-"

"Bucky, _please_." Steve said, looking up at Bucky with pleading eyes. Bucky turned to face towards Sam and Phil.

"He was having an asthma attack last year and Ms. Carter found him sitting on the floor in the hallway. She went to his teacher, Mrs. Rael and got his inhaler. Sat with him for a full _ten minutes_ until he was okay again."

"Bucky!" Steve protested.

"What? She's not _that_ bad looking." Bucky said, clapping Steve on the shoulder. Steve simply cringed and looked at his shoes. "I mean, for a _teacher_." Steve put his head in his hands. He was thoroughly embarrassed.

Sam turned back to Jane and the short, black haired boy, who was smirking. "So I didn't catch your name..." He muttered.

"James Howlett, but most people here-in fact _everyone_ here-calls me by my middle name, Logan."

"Logan?" Sam raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Logan sighed.

Sam turned away, shaking his head.

"Whatever, new kid." Logan snorted. "But when Nebula and Shiro are bullying you, I'll be the first one to beat their sorry asses into the ground, eh!" He shouted as he slid out from his chair. "I'll punch them and knock them straight into the garbage cans! I'm like a wolverine!"

"What's a wolverine?" Sam asked, turning around to see what Logan was shouting at. All eyes were on the small boy. And boy was he small, looking at least a foot shorter than everyone else in the room. Even Steve and was saying something.

"What's a wolverine?" Logan repeated. "A wolverine is an _awesome_ Canadian mammal that's really small but has a lot of strength." He nodded.

Sam raised his eyebrow at the small boy in front of him. He was having a really difficult time believing this kid was strong. Cocky, maybe, but _strong_?

"Logan, back in your seat, please. Now." Mr. Selvig had re-entered the room. He had raised his voice and spoke firmly to Logan.

The short boy climbed back up into his seat and huffed as he laid his stubby arms out in front of himself.

Sam noticed that Logan's fingertips barely extended past the end of his desk.

"Where were we?" Mr. Selvig asked, picking up the copy of Chamber of Secrets that lay on his desk. "Yes, chapter thirteen." He said for the class to turn to the chapter. "Loki, would you like to start us off?" He asked.

Loki simply nodded.

* * *

Last period was almost through and Sam was looking forward to finally ending his first day at his new school. Since his father was in the military, this was his sixth first day and they never got any easier. But Sam knew that in a few months, he'd just have to wave the new friends he'd made goodbye as his father would be stationed somewhere else, meaning his family would be relocated to a new town. He felt someone tapping his shoulder. It was Phil.

"Wanna come get slushies with us after school?" He asked, leaning in.

"I ca-who's going?" Sam asked.

"Uhâ€¦ Me, Clint, Nat and Fury..." He said. "I _think_ Steve and Bucky are coming too. And I know Bruce _definitely_ is."

"I uhâ€¦ Maybe, Phil." Sam said after a pause. "My parents are kind of strict."

"What's your family like? I don't have a family-I mean, I _do_ , but I don't. Clint has an older brother-he's in Middle School and his name's Barneyâ€¦"

"Phil, you're speaking _way_ too fast for me to understand a word you're saying." Sam sighed.

"Sorry." Phil blushed. He had to keep his excitement reigned in. ' _This is why you're a misfit_.' Phil scolded himself internally.

"You know everyone here, right?" Sam asked.

"I'd like to think so, yes?" Phil replied, not really sure where Sam was taking the conversation.

"Why are Bucky and Steve soâ€¦? _Enthusiastic_ about uhâ€¦ You knowâ€¦?" Sam tripped over his words. "Hitler?"

Phil snorted and tried to cover it up as a sneeze.

Mr. Selvig narrowed his eyes at Phil.

"Mr. Coulson, I've never had a problem with you before. You're a very well behaved young man." He said. "So I would appreciate it if you stopped disrupting my class, please." He said, kindly but authoritatively. "Don't make me separate you and Mr. Barton further."

"No, Sir. It won't happen again." Phil muttered meekly.

"Good. Because the next disruptive noise I hear from you, I _will_ be asking you and Mr. Pym to swap seats."

"Yes, Sir." Phil said, almost in a whisper, casting his gaze over to the blond boy on the right, sat at the table nearest the window.

Mr. Selvig returned to talking about Hitler and World War Two and writing notes on the blackboard.

Phil leaned in to Sam again. "What was it you wanted to know?"

"Why Steve and Bucky are so fascinated with Hitler."

"They're not really fascinated with _Hitler_ , they just really love History." Phil shrugged. "They were the same when learning about the Civil War-but that even got the attention of _Tony_." He said as if it was some impressive feat. "So are you coming for slushies?"

"No." Sam said curtly.

Phil tried to hide the hurt he felt as he moved his body closer to his desk. "Oh. Okay then." He said, desperately trying not to act like his feelings had just been hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So welcome to my new story. I've been in love with the Avengers probably longer than most of you reading this have been alive. Well, slight exaggeration, but it has been almost 13 years. I thought it would be fun to introduce it from Sam/Falcon's perspective, but it won't be solely focusing on him. The next chapter-which I've already written-is focused on Star Lord and Coulson. It's about the Avengers as elementary school students (and with the exception of Fury, older/experienced Marvel characters will be teachers), but it features characters and cameos from other characters from Marvel properties as well.  
> I tried to get the characters as close to how they would act in the movies/comics, but as all the Avengers are aged 9 or 10, it's pretty hard to do that. But each of them has their own stuff to deal with, as you'll find out. Whether it's Tony and his heart defect, Bucky and his arm, Clint and his deafness or Bruce and his... Well, you'll find out. I've given the Avengers their problems, but I'm also making them deal with them as children. If there's one thing I love about superheroes, it's the 'rise above it' attitudes.  
> There's no guarantee I'll stick with it either, since when I return to university, I'll lose a lot of time and have to work more on my essays and assignments. But I'll do my best to stick with it, since I see a lot of things I can do with this. Who knows? Maybe if I find the space and the right story line without it sounding too contrived, we might see a little bit of Doreen Green.  
> Lastly, I don't own any of these characters, they all belong to Marvel.


	2. School Counselor

Peter Quill-AKA Star Lord-was walking through the halls of his school. Well, not really walking, more like dancing. The headphones that usually hung around his neck were now on his head, the soft pads covering the speakers pressing against his ears and _I Want You Back_ by Jackson 5 bleeding through them from his iPod. He wasn't aware anyone else was in the halls, after all, he had come to school a lot earlier today to get away from his problems for a while.

"Peter Quill?" Someone asked. It was a young boy with long brown hair. Peter couldn't hear them-he was too busy being Star Lord.

"Yeah, that's weird that he's here." Someone else muttered. It was a girl with shoulder length blond hair.

"Well, Heimdall must have let him in here for a reason." The first person unfolded his arms and he and the second person walked up to the dancing little boy. "Hey, Quill?" He asked as he tapped the child gently on the shoulder.

Startled, Peter pulled his headphones from his head quickly and flinched.

"We're not going to hurt you, Peter." The girl said.

"Oh." Peter said dejectedly. "It's _you_ guys." He lowered his head. "Hey Sue. Hey Remy." Peter knew the two were here because Sue's mother was Principal Xavier's secretary and Remy's father was the IT technician and both had to be here early.

"Peter, what are you doing here all by yourself?" Remy asked.

"I'm happy." Peter said defensively. He looked up again.

"No one's saying you're not." Sue said. "Why did Heimdall let you in so early?" She asked.

Peter averted his gaze away from her.

"He _didn't_ , did he?" Remy asked as he brushed his hair from his face.

Peter shook his head.

"Oh, Peter." Sue muttered.

"Heimdall knows everything because he seems to see everything." Remy put his arm around Peter. "That's why Principal Xavier says he's the best security guard this school's ever had."

"What Remy's trying to say is..." Sue took a deep breath. "Heimdall probably knows you broke into the school. You're not supposed to be here for another hour. Please tell us what's wrong."

"Thank you, Sue." Remy said. He turned to Peter. "We know your mom's sick. And we know your dad's not around."

"Who told you?" Peter asked defensively.

"Rich." Sue and Remy said in unison.

Peter groaned and rolled his eyes. Of _course_ Rich told them, Rich couldn't keep anything to himself.

"It's nothing." Peter attempted to lift his headphones back on his head.

Remy held his arm. "I know it's hard, Peter."

"You don't know me." Peter hissed, pulling himself away from Remy's grip. He put his headphones on and carried on down the hallway.

* * *

Bruce walked into class that morning figuring he'd be the first one there, as usual. He was always so eager to learn that he often arrived early. He enjoyed it, of course and the attention he got off Heimdall-who Bruce was absolutely _certain_ was some kind of god, since he always knew everything about everyone. It was either that or he talked to people's parents. So he was surprised and not in a good way when he saw Peter already sitting at his desk and listening to his iPod.

"Peter?" Bruce asked, waving his hand in front of Peter's face.

"Go away, Bruce." Peter said.

"I'm not mad." Bruce said softly.

Peter snorted. "Yeah, I can _see_ that."

"Peter, honestly, tell me if you're okay."

"I'm fine." Peter huffed. "Go have your little love fest with Barton, Romanoff, Fury and Coulson."

"If this is about the slushies..."

"It's about nothing, leave me alone, I'm fine." Peter growled.

"I know you're going through a tough time, we all are, but-"

"I'm gonna stop you there, I'm fine."

"Whatever you say." Bruce muttered. He walked away from Peter and over to his desk.

A few minutes later, a tall girl with braided black hair walked into the classroom. She took one look at Peter and then her eyes moved onto Bruce.

"Star Lord is early." She said, walking over to Bruce's desk.

"You can say _that_ again, Sif." Bruce looked up from his notes.

"What is he _doing_ here so damn early?" She asked.

"Hell if I know. He won't tell me anything." Bruce said quietly as he adjusted his glasses. "He just made fun of me for going out with my friends after school."

"Did you tell him about your father?"

"No, he just growled at me and told me to shut up." Bruce sighed, putting his head in his hands. "Well not in so many words." He said, noticing the horrified expression that had crossed Sif's face.

"Little shit." Sif cursed at him under her breath.

"Sif, getting angry won't solve anything." Bruce murmured defeatedly.

Sif sent a warning look to Peter who was paying little to no attention to what was going on around him and went to sit at her desk in the back, next to Maria.

Phil was the next in the room and he was predictably accompanied by Clint.

"Y'know, Phil, Star Lord was here first you know." Bruce said without looking up from his notes.

"No?" Phil said his voice full of surprise. "Really?"

"What's happened?" Clint asked, sensing a disturbance in the equilibrium.

Phil signed to Clint and Clint's jaw dropped in shock. "Why?"

Bruce turned to face Clint. "I don't know, he wouldn't say." He said as he signed.

"You don't think something happened to his mom, do you?" Phil asked cautiously, glancing over to the sullen, self proclaimed 'Star Lord'. Bruce simply shrugged.

"I have no idea." Bruce shook his head. "By the way, how're your parents?" He asked.

Phil looked down. "My mother wants to take me away from them." He said quietly. "I don't wanna leave, y'know? I like the Coulsons-I _love_ the Coulsons."

"Hang in there, buddy." Bruce sighed.

Clint, sensing the change in his friend's emotion, put an arm around him.

Phil gave a small smile.

"Let's go sit down, Phil." Clint mumbled.

"It's not fair." Phil whined, knowing full well Clint couldn't hear him. Or maybe it was directed at Bruce?

* * *

Pretty soon, the class was filled with kids and they were staring at Peter Quill. He squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. This is _not_ what he wanted at all.

Sam was one of the last to arrive, entering the classroom shortly before Logan. He sensed something was amiss. Phil Coulson was quietly sobbing in his seat with Clint hovering at his side, comforting him. Bruce didn't have his nose in a book. Loki was showing emotion. Thor was oddly quiet. And everyone seemed to be staring at... What was his name again? Ah, Star Lord.

Looking around, Sam noticed something else was amiss. Steve wasn't there. He scraped his chair back and walked over to the front row where Steve's friend Bucky was sitting. Sam had to admit, Bucky looked a little lost without Steve. He kept rubbing his right right hand up and down his left arm, the tips of his fingers lightly grazing the metal. He was wearing a blank expression on his face.

"Bucky?" Sam asked. It seemed to snap Bucky from his trance.

"Uh... Yeah?" Now that he had the attention of the prosthetic arm using boy, a million questions started making their way into Sam's head. The one that came up most often was where the arm came from. Sam opened his mouth to ask about the arm, but quickly remembered about Steve.

"Where's Steve?" He asked.

"In hospital." Bucky whispered almost sadly.

"Why? Is he alright?" Sam asked, full of concern. Sure he'd known Steve for only a day, but that didn't mean he didn't care. He didn't like to see anyone in pain.

"Yeah, it was... An asthma attack." Bucky hesitated. It was because he didn't like saying 'just', like 'it's _just_ ' an asthma attack' because he knew it was those attacks that might one day take the life of his best friend. Bucky looked at Sam whose eyes were focused on his arm. "You wanna know how I got this, don't you?" Sam gave a small nod and immediately shook his head.

"No, I uh... I wasn't wondering at all." Was Sam's strangled response.

"Hmm." Bucky's eyes narrowed. He didn't believe Sam at all. "Go talk to Phil, if you really want to know." He said with a sigh. "It's rather a long story."

"Class, take your seats please!" Mr. Selvig entered the room and walked over to his desk Everyone standing made their way over to their desks, with the exception of Clint who was comforting Phil and couldn't hear the command of Mr. Selvig. Mr. Selvig looked up and saw Phil crying.

"Phil?" He asked gently. "Phil, what's wrong?" He began to walk over to Phil's desk. "Phil Coulson?"

"I'm _not_ Phil Coulson!" Phil shouted angrily.

"Phil, please. I'm trying to understand." Mr. Selvig said, this time more firmly.

"There's nothing _to_ understand!" Phil shouted. He stood up and wiped his eyes before he spoke again. "I'll probably never see you again, so what's the point in telling you!" His chair scraped back and he ran out of the room. Clint looked sheepish as he shuffled behind Sam's desk to get to his own.

"Bucky, you're in charge." Mr. Selvig said as he rushed out the door in pursuit of Phil. As he rounded the corner, he encountered May Parker, the second grade teacher.

"Erik." She said, with an acknowledging nod of her head. "I saw one of yours. He was upset and appeared to be crying."

"Where'd he go, May?" Erik asked.

"I saw him run into the boy's restrooms." She explained. "I was on my way to your class to tell you."

"Thanks a lot, May. Really."

"You're welcome." She smiled. "Would you like some help dealing with him?"

"That would be just super, May, thank you."

"Any time, Erik. I'll just go get Frank." Erik nodded and dashed off around the corner to the boy's restrooms.

"Phil?" Mr. Selvig called out gently. "Phil, are you okay?" He heard sniffling, so at least Phil hadn't left in the time he talked to May. "Phil, It's me, Mr. Selvig." He sighed as he stood outside the boy's restrooms. "Mrs. Parker's gone to get Frank. You like Frank, don't you?"

"Leave me alone." Phil snapped.

"Phil, buddy, I can't do that." Mr. Selvig said firmly. "You're ten years old. I can't leave a ten year old on his own."

"You're here after me and not with the rest of the class." Phil said sulkily.

"I'm more than sure that Clint's interpreter can watch the class for a few minutes." Erik said.

"So what's the problem?" An angry looking middle aged man had approached Erik and startled him.

"It's one of my students-Philip Coulson. He's crying and refuses to come out of the restrooms." Erik explained.

The man's expression softened. "It's a problem with his parents." He said almost immediately.

"What do you mean, Frank?" Erik asked. "Are they sick, like Peter's mother-by the way, I need you to talk to him too. Heimdall told me he came in earlier than usual today and almost as soon as I walked in I had Sue Storm and Remy LeBeau tell me how he was acting aloof and distant when they tried to ask him what was wrong."

Frank gave Erik a puzzled expression.

"Sticking to Phil." Erik muttered.

"Erik, Phil's last name's not really Coulson, though I'm sure you gathered that, what with him being in your class and all."

Erik nodded. "Yes, he's being adopted."

Frank sighed loudly. "For him to be this upset means that the adoption might have fallen through or worse-his _real_ parents have tried to contact him in some way."

"I didn't think of that." Eric murmured under his breath.

"Irani came to me after the exact same thing happened last year in her class."

"What did you do?"

"Bribed him out with my vintage _Batman_ trading cards." Frank shrugged.

"Vintage-how vintage?" Erik asked.

"Pre-Adam West vintage." Frank's shoulders dropped, remembering his tragic loss. "Given to me by my father." He sighed.

"What are you going to do now?" Erik asked, putting his hands in his trouser pockets.

Frank took something out of his jacket pocket. "The same thing." He said, cocking his head. He stroked the card for good luck and walked into the boy's restroom. "Phil?" He called.

"Go away." Phil sniffled.

"It's me, Frank."

"I said 'go away'." Phil hiccuped through his sobs. "Mr. Selvig and Mrs. Parker called you here."

"No, I came here because I have a new _Batman_ card for you." Frank said, trying to sound as convincing and non-threatening as possible.

"What year?" Phil asked, suddenly sounding interested.

"Adam West, 1967." Frank repeated from memory. He leaned against the tiny-to him-sinks, hoping not to break them. He heard the lock moving on Phil's cubicle and he turned to look. There Frank saw a red eyed, red faced Phil almost-Coulson, wiping tears from his eyes with his sleeve.

"Can I see?" He sniffed.

"Of course." Frank knelt down to the distressed fourth grader and handed him the card. He watched as Phil-now hardly crying-examined the card, flicking it from front to back.

"I haven't got _this_ card." Phil said in an almost whisper.

"Have it, then." Frank smiled and Phil forced a smile back. "But there's one condition." Frank raised his eyebrows and watched Phil's face fall. "You come back to my office and I'll make you a nice hot chocolate."

The little boy threw his arms around Frank, who didn't quite know how to respond, but decided a pat on the back sufficed. "Come on then." He said, standing up. The distraught little boy grabbed Frank's hand tightly. "I'm not your daddy, Phil."

"I know." Phil whispered. "I just don't want you to leave me." Frank's heart almost broke at the sound of those words. Phil, a usually happy and excitable ten year old, sounded so... Broken. And he didn't know how to fix him.

The pair emerged from the restrooms, Phil still clinging on tightly to Frank's hand. Outside, Mr. Selvig adjusted himself.

"I know you want to hold Frank's hand, but you have to let go." Mr. Selvig said.

"But he promised me hot chocolate." Phil pouted.

"You can come to my office next period, Phil. Right now, I'm busy."

"I'll make sure to send you, Phil." Mr. Selvig put a comforting hand on Phil's shoulder. "Now go back to class." Phil nodded sadly and walked away. The two staff members waited for the young boy to be out of earshot before they began talking again.

"How is he, Frank?"

"Clingy." Was Frank's blunt response. "Something's happened to the adoption and I'm going to find out exactly what."

"How will you get it out of him?" Erik asked, causing Frank to raise an eyebrow. "More trading cards?"

"Yup. I got a whole drawer full of vintage _Justice League_ trading cards."

"You won't for long." Erik smiled.

"Damn right I won't."

"So I'll send him by in an hour?"

"Yeah and send the self proclaimed 'Star Lord' after him. You said something's bugging him too, right?" Erik nodded. "Good. See you around, Erik."

"You too, Frank."Erik calmly began to walk to his class and rounded the corner before he saw Phil standing outside the door, clutching the card Frank gave him tightly, but delicately.

"Phil, are you okay?" Phil nodded and looked down. "Shall we go in?"

Phil's eyes moved up to see his teacher and he nodded again.

Mr. Selvig opened the door to his classroom and let the young boy in before walking in himself. As soon as he entered the room however, he noticed everyone go silent and all eyes went on Phil.

"Phil, is it true?" Someone asked.

"Phil, tell us!" Someone else demanded.

Soon almost everyone in the classroom was shouting at and demanding something off the emotionally fragile ten year old.

"Enough!" The voice of their teacher booming around the classroom was enough to scare the kids back into silence. "I don't want you harassing Phil and I don't want to hear any _stories_ of you harassing Phil." Mr. Selvig was signing as he spoke, to ensure Clint also got the message. "He's going through a rough time and I know all or most of you are as well. Show some empathy." Mr. Selvig turned to Phil. "Go sit down." He gestured to Phil's desk with a nod of his head. Phil sat down nervously. Clint signed over to Phil.

 _Are you alright?_ Clint looked at his friend with concern.

 _Yeah, Clint. I'm fine._ Phil sighed.

 _Something's happened with your family._ Clint signed.

Phil looked shocked at how quickly Clint guessed.

 _I can read you like a book, Phil._ Clint raised an eyebrow.

 _Yes._ Phil looked down.

 _Wanna tell me? I'm your best friend after all._ Clint offered Phil a comforting smile.

Phil sighed and his shoulders dropped. _My mother wants me back._

 _Phil, I'm sorry._ Clint's eyes widened in horror. He knew what this meant for Phil. His own father was abusive towards him before his mother moved him and his brother out of their home. He knew that being removed from the Coulsons would kill Phil inside, especially when Phil already knew himself as a member of the Coulson family. Clint could just feel his heart breaking for his best friend and he fought back tears.

 _Nothing you can do about it, Clint._ Phil looked defeated.

 _Yes there is. I can support you._ Clint smiled over to Phil.

Phil gave a small smile in return.

"Right class. For the benefit of Sam, this is Mathematics class and for the benefit of _all_ of you, we're gonna tackle long division! Yay!" Mr. Selvig said.

Groans came from all over the classroom. Even from Tony.

 _I will always be here for you, Phil. Like Bucky and Steve say, 'till the end of the line'._ Phil smiled at the inside joke. The first real smile he'd given since he first found out the news from his social worker.

* * *

After Mathematics, Erik made good on his promise to send Phil to Frank. However, since Phil and Clint both refused to be separated, he ended up sending them both. It was recess and the kids were playing outside, so Erik thought it would be best to get some things ready for the next period, which was science. He smiled when he realized just how involved Tony and Bruce would be. Erik was interrupted from his thoughts by the sound of metal being hit against wood. He looked in the doorway and saw Bucky.

"You miss Steve, huh?" Mr. Selvig sighed.

"I'm not here for me, Sir." Mr. Selvig's expression turned from one of pity to one of confusion. "I'm here because of Star Lord."

"Why?"

"He's too proud to approach you on his own, Sir." Mr. Selvig gave a small smile. He knew how much trouble Star Lord could actually be.

"Where is he, Bucky?"

"In the hallway. He's just sitting down. And he's got a raccoon."

"A raccoon?" Mr Selvig's expression flashed quickly from confusion, to panic and then to realization. "The first grader?"

"I think he said his name was 'Rocky' or something?" Bucky shrugged.

"Yeah, that's Rocket Raccoon." Mr. Selvig stood up and walked from his desk and over to the one armed child.

Bucky then led him to the sullen looking Star Lord, sitting on the floor in the halls against the wall. Indeed, the first grader raccoon, Rocket was sat next to him, talking to him.

"Come on, you're gonna miss recess... You're gonna, you're gonna..." The mammal looked up at Mr. Selvig who was standing over the pair.

"I'm Mr. Selvig. It's nice to finally meet you, Rocket, I've heard a lot about you. But why don't you go now back to Mr. Odinson's class while I keep Peter busy, yes?"

"Alright. I'm going, I'm going." Rocket said, picking himself off the floor. Mr. Selvig caught sight of Rocket's tail. "Yeah, I have a tail, so what?" Rocket said defensively.

"I never said having a tail was a bad thing, Rocket. Now go to Mr. Odinson's class."

The first grader mumbled as he walked away.

Mr. Selvig crouched down next to Peter. "Star Lord." He said gently.

"Mr. Selvig." Peter looked up at his teacher.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

"No."

"Is it your mother? Has her condition got worse?" Mr. Selvig put his hand on Peter's shoulder comfortingly.

"No, Sir."

"What is it then? You can tell me. I won't tell anyone except Frank."

"I-it's hard." Peter sighed.

"You're having trouble coping?" Peter nodded and Erik sighed. He hadn't had Star Lord's misfortune. He was raised with his siblings by two parents, one of which was still alive, and had a happy childhood. On the other hand, Peter was ten and he already had his father walk out on him and now his mother had terminal stage four cancer. It was worse on Peter as well, since he was an only child he had no siblings he could talk to, nobody who was going through the same thing and who understood what he was feeling. Because Erik sure as hell didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since Phil is Clint's handler in SHIELD, I wanted them to have a close relationship like that. I work with little kids (between the ages of 5-8) and they all have mouths like sailors. So I figured why shouldn't one of them swear?   
> Heimdall seemed the obvious choice for security, since in all my schools, colleges and even now I'm in university, the security guard always knew what was going down at any place in the building. And the school counselor is Punisher.


	3. Reputation

Loki woke up early that morning. So early that nobody else was awake. He crept downstairs and his dog came up to him and licked his hands. "Hey, Sleipnir." He whispered, happily crouching down to his dog.

Sleipnir the dog climbed onto Loki's knee and started licking his face. The young boy laughed as the weight of the dog pushed him down onto the floor. He began laughing as the dog crawled on top of him, licking all over his face. "Sleipnir no!" He laughed. "That tickles"

"Good to see you having fun, Brother."

Loki tilted his head to see his brother Thor standing in the doorway. "Thor, what are you doing up so early?"

"I should ask the same thing of you, Brother."

Loki pushed his Labrador dog off himself and stood up. "Do Mother and Father know you have awakened? Are they awake also?" Loki asked.

"No, as far as I am aware, they both are still asleep, as is Angela." Thor said quietly in exchange for his usual loud booming voice.

"Have you seen Fenrir?"

"Loki, Brother..." Thor paused. "Did you _lose_ your pet dog?"

"Thor, I never _said_ I lost my dog, I just asked if you had possibly seen him."

"He's not upstairs, unless he's in Mother and Father's room." Thor mumbled. "Angela would not allow him in her room."

"Hela is asleep on my bed, still?"

"Indeed she is, Brother." Thor smiled at the thought of the little black cat.

"Leave her be, then."

"So now that things have settled down at school, are you planning on carrying out your big prank any time soon?" Thor asked eagerly.

"You'll find out." Loki said, a devious grin plastered on his face. "You'll find out soon."

* * *

Steve awoke that morning to sunlight pouring in on his face. His mother was opening the curtains. Steve moaned in protest.

"Come on, Steven." His mother encouraged. "You have to get up some time."

"And I choose later." He grumbled.

"There's no choice here." She said firmer.

"Fine." Steve groaned. His bed sheets fell off his thin form as he sat up. A look of pity briefly passed over his mother's face.

"Come on. Breakfast." She smiled as she left the room.

Steve entered the main room of the apartment he called home and sat down at the small two person table at the edge of the kitchenette. He was wearing a blue t-shirt with a white star over the chest, tucked into blue jeans, themselves being held up by a grey belt.

His mother took one look at him and sighed. She couldn't help but feel sorry for her son. He'd just got out of hospital yesterday and she was forcing him to go to school again the next day.

"So what _is_ breakfast?" he asked.

"Today? Toast." His mother replied.

"Yay." Steve rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"Come on, Steve." His mother said. "I'm trying here."

"I hate Al Qaeda." Steve says under his breath as he folds his arms on the table. He huffs angrily as he rests his head on his arms.

"I know you do, Steve." His mother moved out of the relatively small kitchenette and carefully rubbed her hand on her son's shoulder. She knew she'd been lonely since Steve's father died in the Iraq war, but she couldn't imagine how it was for Steve. At least she knew her husband, Steve never knew his father. She also knew that the seven year anniversary of his death was coming up. Someone knocked the door.

"Sarah?" A voice called. "Sarah, I know you're here, I can smell burning toast."

Sarah walked over to the front door of her apartment and answered it. "Julie. What a surprise." Sarah said with a puzzled look on her face. She noticed how upset Julie looked. "What's the matter?"

"They're trying to take my boy away!" Julie whispered loudly.

"Philip?" Julie nodded.

"Rob and I are absolutely devastated."

"Come in, Julie." Sarah offered, moving aside. "Sit on the couch, I'll be there in a minute." Sarah turned to her son. "Steve." She said softly. Her son turned to look at her with big, blue, sad eyes. "Something's happened to Julie and Rob. I'll be here to listen to you after work."

"You never have time for me any more." Steve sniffled.

"That's not true, Steve."

"I wish Dad never joined the army." Steve sighed.

"I know, Steve. So do I." Sarah said, rubbing her arm soothingly on her ten year old son's shoulder. Steve slid down from his chair, walked over to the couch and picked up a pair of white Converse.

"Rob is taking Phil to school now, if you want to tag along, Steve." Julie said to the sullen fourth grader. Steve nodded as he tied his laces. "They're going to pick up Clint and then get breakfast."

"Okay." Steve said coldly as he grabbed his red hoodie that was draped over his chair.

"Have you got your inhaler?" Sarah asked, gently holding her son back. He gave a small nod. "Good. See you later, Steve." She smiled. Steve smiled half-heartedly in return.

* * *

Bruce entered the classroom a little late than usual. Sif, Steve, Clint, Phil, Hank and Maria were already there.

"Did you hear about Wade?" Hank asked as soon as Bruce stepped foot through the door.

"Wade?" Bruce asked as he lowered his backpack slightly. "That hyperactive, tiny little guy in third grade-the one who always talks to himself?"

"Yeah, that's the one." Hank nodded.

"What about him?" Bruce asked.

"Well..."

"He caught fire." Maria blurted out. Hank nodded.

"Essentially, this." Hank shrugged. "Apparently he's in the hospital with really bad burns. My aunt told me."

"Is he going to die?" Bruce asked, dropping his backpack in shock.

"I don't think so." Sif added. "I think that he is just badly hurt."

"Probably be back here soon." Maria shrugged.

"Wanna take a guess how it happened?" Hank raised his eyebrow.

"I'm willing to bet it's something like he was jumping around and hit some flames and they spread." Bruce picked up his backpack.

"Yeah, kind of. He _was_ jumping around, and fell into his aunt's fireplace." Hank replied. Bruce rolled his eyes. "The burns are all on his back. But apparently they're pretty bad."

"God, poor Wade, even though it _was_ pretty predictable." Bruce pulled out his chair. "Poor little guy. Really feel bad for him."

"Yeah, I know." Hank sighed. "He may be an annoying little turd sometimes, but he's benign."

"Benign?" Sif asked. "What the Hel does _that_ mean?"

"Benign means harmless, Sif." Bruce explained. "Wade is annoying, he jumps around a lot, he's very talkative and even goes so far as to talk to himself, he's impulsive and his attention is always drawn to other things whenever anyone tries to explain something important to him... But all that said, he's generally just... Harmless."

"I know what Wade can be like." Sif said. "He never really hurt anybody. Although, if you put him in an interrogation room, there would be no need for 'good cop, bad cop'. Just Wade talking would be enough to drive the criminal over the edge and confess his or her crimes."

Everyone laughed as Tony entered the room.

"Hey, I'm not going to give you free money. Tell me what you're laughing at."

"Wade's in hospital." Hank said.

"Wade who?"

"Wade Wilson, the hyper kid in third grade."

"The one who when he sees you talks your ear off and constantly changes the subject?"

"That's the one."

"What happened?"

"He was jumping about and got burned apparently." Bruce said as he opened his backpack. He turned to Tony and adjusted his glasses. "From what Hank told me, he's gonna be okay as the burns are on his back."

"Damn." Tony shook his head as he put one hand into his jeans pocket. "But something like this was bound to happen sooner or later." Tony walked over to his desk. "I mean, remember in October? When he climbed that wall?"

"Yeah, he fell off, didn't he?" Phil shrugged.

"Pretty sure he _jumped_ off." Maria said.

"Yeah, he did." Hank rolled his eyes. "And he broke his arm. It was just after he got out of the cast from breaking his ankle. Like a week or something."

"He doesn't like _not_ to be injured, then." Tony said.

"Nah, he's just impulsive. In other words, he does stupid things in the heat of the moment and doesn't realize that he'll get hurt." Bruce adjusted his glasses again and set his bag back down on the floor. "Or he _could_ just simply have a death wish."

"Speaking of 'death wish', you got Wade Wilson in this year's dead pool?" Tony asked.

"No, I don't." Bruce said as he kicked his backpack under his desk. "Because although I'm not denying I that think he's got a death wish, alas, Wade isn't a celebrity." He sighed and added "If he _was_ a celebrity, no doubt he'd be on there."

As everyone kept discussing the injured third grader, Clint tapped Phil on the shoulder.

 _What's going on?_ He signed.

 _Wade's been hurt, apparently._ Phil signed back.

 _That weird kid in third grade?_ Clint signed, with a look of confusion. _The one who's always bouncing about and talks non-stop?_

 _Yeah that's him._ Phil clarified with a smirk. He knew that Clint could tell that Wade talked a lot because he can lip read. Actually, Clint even told him a few times that it was hard to understand Wade because he talked too fast and that even when Wade was completely alone, he still saw him talk to himself.

 _How bad?_ Clint was concerned, understandably.

_Burns. On his back._

_Third degree?_

_I don't know, Clint. Nobody seems to._

_Who told you, Phil?_

_Hank. He told everyone._ Phil sighed. _Heard it from his aunt. Or something._

 _Poor Wade. I feel bad for him now._ Clint briefly hung his head. _Although it was going to happen sooner or later._

_Why say that?_

_He broke his arm jumping off a wall last year._ Phil smiled. That was _exactly_ what Hank said not one minute ago.

_Yeah, that's what Hank said._

_Can't hide from the truth, Coulson._ The two boys shared a laugh.

* * *

In the staff room however, the atmosphere was a bit more somber. Some staff were crowded around the coffee machine, Frank Castle the counselor included. Erik walked in on their conversation.

"According to Mrs. Wilson, her son has ten percent third degree burns and seven percent second degree burns on the back of his body."

"No way!" The second grade teacher May Parker said. "I taught Wade last year and I always _knew_ he could be a handful. He was very hyperactive but I never thought _anything_ like this could ever happen to him."

"I know what you mean." Peggy Carter, the fifth grade teacher said. "I found him last year, curled up in a ball on the playground just after recess when it was my turn to oversee playground duty. He had his hands over his head. I managed to pry them off and there was a huge gash on his scalp. His hair was wet with blood."

"I remember that." Erik Selvig, the fourth grade teacher said. "You came to me for help."

"Yes, I did. How did he say he did it?"

"Tripped backwards over a rock because he was running backwards." Erik rolled his eyes. That wasn't the first time he'd had to deal with any of Wade's injuries. Wade was always sporting bandages, Band Aids, stitches or a cast-sometimes even two. Nobody had ever seen him without either.

"Didn't Wade miss a few months of school a few years ago?" Secretary Mary Storm asked. "Playing in traffic or something?"

"Yeah, he was hit by a car and broke his arm, his ribs and his femur." May replied and took a sip of coffee. "He was absent because he had to have surgery." She set her coffee cup down. "And a body cast."

"And the same day he came back to school, he left halfway through the day?" Mary said uncertainly.

"No... That's-That's right." May nodded. "He tripped over playing and chipped his front tooth. I think he had to have stitches in his upper lip as well.

"And don't forget the broken arm." Erik said. "It wasn't even that long ago. He climbed a wall and jumped off it." He rolled his eyes and grunted. "I don't know what he _thought_ was going to happen, but he broke his arm and had to miss school in favor of surgery."

Everyone stayed silent until Peggy spoke up again. "Do you think it's strange that we remember _one student's_ unfortunate mishaps?"

May snorted. "It's _Wade Wilson_." She emphasized. "I defy _anyone_ to forget _anything_ Wade Wilson has done."

Erik looked down at his wristwatch. "I'd better get to class." He said. "Most of my kids are pretty close to Wade, I think I'll just have them do craft projects for him today and carry on the lesson plan tomorrow."

"Yeah, that's what Irani's doing." Erik said under his breath as he set down his coffee mug before walking out the door. All the other staff followed shortly after.

* * *

"Miss, where's Wade?" A brown haired Asian girl asked.

"I haven't seen him in a few days, is he sick?" An Asian boy asked.

"More likely, he's hurt himself again." A blond girl said.

"I can believe that. He's _always_ hurting himself." An overweight boy with dark brown hair said as he frowned.

"Kids!" Came a voice at the front of the classroom. It was their teacher and Vice Principal, Mrs. Rael. She was standing next to the teaching assistant Miss Preston. Everyone hushed.

"I've had to give so many of these talks, they should seem routine by now, but yes, Wade has _indeed_ managed to find a new way to hurt himself."

"And it means that Wade won't be in school for a little while." Miss Preston said. "Again." She added under her breath.

The Asian boy's hand went up again.

"Yes, Shiro?" Miss Preston said.

"What happened _this_ time?" He asked.

"He burned himself." She explained.

The blond girl put her hand in the air. "Emma?"

"That _still_ doesn't explain what _happened_ to him, y'know, the circumstances surrounding the burns." Emma raised her eyebrow.

"He fell backwards onto a fire." Mrs. Rael said, keen to get off the topic. "Now, today will be..." Mrs. Rael paused as she saw a hand shoot into the air. It belonged to the overweight boy.

"Yes, Harold."

"Happy. It's Happy." The boy reminded. "How bad is he hurt? I mean, is it worse than usual? Worse than... _The_ cast?" Mrs. Rael sighed.

Happy looked really anxious asking the question. Mrs Rael knew exactly which injury of Wade's that Happy was referring to-the fractured ulna. It looked so painful, mostly because there was metal framework poking out of his cast. Wade seemed to soldier on, but admitted to Frank halfway through his treatment that his arm was really hurting him. Then he got all happy, talkative and excitable when Frank let him play Solitaire on his computer. Frank had admitted, albeit jokingly to Irani that afternoon that he was one bad joke away from blowing the kid's brains out because he was so overbearing.

"No. I'm not sure." Mrs. Rael admitted.

Another Asian girl's hand went into the air.

"No more questions, Colleen." She said sternly.

A few more students' hands went up.

"Megan, Kitty, Wanda, I'm _not_ answering questions."

Their hands went down immediately.

"So today, we're gonna make get-well cards for your classmate..."

"But you said he wasn't badly hurt." Another Asian boy pointed out.

"Danny's right." Shiro said. "We only did this for Wade once and it was last year."

"That was when he got hit by a car." Happy said, the fear returning to his eyes. "That means he _is_ badly hurt!"

"No!" Mrs. Rael said, panicking. "No, it's just I don't have any lessons planned for you today." She said quickly. "I was going to have you draw pictures and now we can do that _and_ give them to your classmate."

"So he's okay?"

"I never said that, Happy."

"So he's going to die?" Happy asked.

Irani sighed and whispered to Emily "Go get Frank."

Emily nodded and left the room.

"Where's Miss Preston gone?" A boy with an East European accent asked.

"She's gone to get Frank, Pietro."

"The Punisher?"

"He _does_ deal with some aspects of discipline, yes. But he's the school counselor. And I'd like you to treat him with respect." Mrs. Rael said firmly. "That goes for all of you."

* * *

Everyone-sans Rhodey-had arrived in the fourth grade classroom and were all talking about the scandal that was "Wadegate".

Sam Wilson couldn't really comment, since he didn't know Wade Wilson at all. Sure they shared the same last name, but that was about it. He didn't know Wade. Nor did he know a thing about him-well, judging by what was being said, he sounded like some kind of mentalcase who wasn't really worth knowing anyway. Judging Wade was not what Sam's parents would've wanted him to do, but hey, they weren't around. God was and he'd pay for his sins later, but for now he would just judge away.

Mr. Selvig walked in and put his satchel on his desk. "I'm sure by now you've all heard about Wade Wilson." He sighed. "Please don't try to let it distract you from your work." He looks at the class. "Today, we will be having a crafts morning. You will be making 'get well' presents for Wade."

Sam's hand shot in the air. "But I don't know Wade."

"Consider yourself _lucky_." Mr. Selvig muttered. "Wade is in the third grade. And unless you leave soon, you'll be meeting him."

Mr. Selvig wandered over to the art supply closet at the rear of the room and opened it. "Does anyone have any questions?"

Phil's hand went into the air.

"Yes, Phil?"

"Are we going to visit Wade, or not?"

"As a class, no. But you can go individually with your parents-provided it's okay with Wade's." Mr. Selvig took a pile of paper out the art closet and began handing them out. "Now, everyone, get drawing and I want to see only nice things."

The ginger haired girl sitting next to Bruce put her hand up.

"Pepper?" Mr. Selvig asked.

Pepper! _That_ was Pepper! Sam smiled.

"Can we use other supplies, like crayons and pipe cleaners and glue?"

"Just don't use too much." The teacher said and smiled to the little girl.

* * *

That lunchtime, Sam found himself-once again-sitting with Phil, Clint and their buddies, Steve, Bucky, Tony, Maria, Nick, Bruce, Natasha, Thor and Loki.

"So you're _really_ going to go through with it, Loki?" Tony asked as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Heshis 'e will. Iha no werson tdotm." Thor said unintelligibly as he devoured a Pop Tart.

"He's going to be suspended." Nick said, as he picked up his juice box.

"Or expelled." Maria added.

"That too." Nick took a sip of his grape juice.

Clint signed to Phil who smiled and shook his head. "He's an idiot, isn't he?" Clint asked out loud.

Phil simply nodded.

"And this day is about Wade, isn't it?"

Phil nodded again.

"Isn't this just taking attention from him?"

Natasha, who was sitting opposite Clint, nodded and began to sign to him.

"Loki, you're an idiot, you know?" Clint said.

Loki raised his eyebrow.

"You know he didn't mean it like that, Brother." Thor said.

"I know." Loki smirked. "That's why I'll show you all that this is gonna be the best prank I've ever pulled." Loki pushed his chair out and walked away, leaving his green hoodie still draped at the back of his chair. Thor grabbed it quickly and put it in his lap before moving back to his Pop Tarts.

"Did any of you guys catch the new _Disney_ movie?" Bruce asked after a brief period of silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this means kiddie Deadpool will be appearing later on in the story. In fact, he and Cable get his own spin off. I really hope I get Deadpool right as he's one of my favorite comic book characters. But then again, I've been told I'm like him so often because of my ADHD so I don't think it'll be much of a problem. Right now, I just wanted to introduce his reputation to Sam. Have him hear of the infamous Wade Wilson a while before they actually meet. And before you ask, yeah Wade Wilson will look completely normal, besides a few (more than most) childhood battle scars.  
> Most of kiddie Deadpool's injuries are from either myself or people I know/knew. The jumping off a wall thing happened to me when I was about 9. The wall was about 7 foot and I was just shy of 4 foot tall myself. I broke my wrist. The falling into fireplace thing happened to a friend. Though he had lesser burns than I gave kiddie Deadpool because he probably got medical attention early.  
> The next chapter will focus on Loki's prank. I'm making him closer to the Norse God of Mischief Loki in that he's neither good nor bad and enjoys pranks, though no worries as he'll still retain some movie Loki including that all crucial brotherly relationship with Thor that the actual Loki figure didn't have (he and Thor were BFFs, rather than brothers). I have some big plans for Loki in the future and they involve scenes with such characters as Bruce, Clint, Tony, Rhodey, Steve, Bucky and Quake as well as a dramatic chapter with Phil and another dramatic chapter with Thor. So effectively, he's going to be a hybrid Loki. The next chapter will also focus on Steve a bit more. Right now, he's angsty and I don't like that. I want to bring him out of that angst so he can get back to life.


	4. Aftermath

Loki crept into the the 4th grade classroom and pulled out a permanent marker, a thumbtack and some stink bombs from his backpack. He giggled wickedly as he put his plan into action.

* * *

After lunch break, Erik was surprised to see all his kids waiting outside the classroom.

"What's going on? Why aren't you inside?" He asked. "Did I lock up?"

"No, Sir." A girl with a blonde pixie cut said. "It just _really_ stinks in there."

"Because it's school? School smells, I've heard that a lot over my career, Carol." Mr. Selvig put his hand on the door handle but Carol pulled him back.

"No, Sir, it _literally_ smells in there." She said. "Like someone took a dump in there or something."

"Carol, I'm sure it's not _that_ bad." He smiled as he opened the door. Then he caught the smell. "Holy freaking Jesus what the hell?!" He shouted as he pinched his nose shut. "That is _bad_!"

"Sir, what do we do?" Carol asked.

"Get the janitor." Mr Selvig said softly. "Now."

Bucky gave his teacher a salute and ran off down the hall to find the janitor.

"Nick, go to Ms. Carter's room and ask for her fan. Hank, go ask Mrs. Rael for _her_ fan and Stephen, go ask Mr. Odinson for his fan. Maria, go to Principal Xavier's office and explain what's going on."

The kids all broke from the group and went the way they each needed to go.

"The rest of you, go in the classroom, sit down and open all the windows."

May Parker opened the door to her room and stuck her head out the door. "Is everything okay?" She asked.

"Fine, Mrs. Parker." He said with a sigh. "A stink bomb or two has just been let off in my classroom."

"Any idea of the culprit?" She asked.

"I can guess." He said.

"Let me know if you need anything."

"Will do."

Mrs. Parker was just about to close her door when Mr. Selvig stopped her. "Mrs. Parker, wait!"

Mrs. Parker walked into the hallway.

"Can I borrow your fan?" Mr. Selvig asked.

She sighed and rolled her eyes and walked back into her classroom.

"All of you." Mr. Selvig said. "Into the classroom."

Everyone else entered the classroom and opened the windows as Mrs. Parker brought her fan over. "It smells really bad in here." She coughed. "What happened?" She asked as she handed the fan to Mr. Selvig.

Mr Selvig took the fan. "Stink bomb."

"You said it was a stink bomb earlier, but are you _sure_ it's a stink bomb?" Mrs Parker pressed.

"At this point? Not particularly."

Mrs. Parker grunted before leaving. "Nothing against _you_ , Mr. Selvig, it just really... Smells. So putrid. Worse than Ben's socks." She muttered as she dashed out the room.

"Sir." Maria said, holding her nose as she walked in. "Principal Xavier's here."

"Professor Xavier." Mr. Selvig addressed the wheelchair using educator, currently in his doorframe.

"Dr. Selvig." The principal said back. "Let's skip the formalities here, Selvig. Tell me why it reeks in here of weeks old dead hamster."

"One of my students broke in and let off a stink bomb." Mr Selvig explained.

"Which one?" Xavier asked.

"I-ah... I don't know." Mr. Selvig said. "Not for sure. But I have an idea."

"The Odinson boys?" Xavier said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, them. Also the Barton and Coulson boys." Mr. Selvig rubbed the back of his neck. "The Stark boy and his friends the Potts girl and the Hogan boy in third grade are also suspects, as are the LeBeau and Wagner boys in fifth grade. They always said they'd get back at me." He adds.

"This is the part where you'd say the Wilson boy."

"I know, Xavier." Mr. Selvig sighed. "It's weird not having him around."

"It is indeed."

"It still also might've been the Summers boy in third grade. Who hangs around with Wilson." Mr. Selvig muttered. "So how do I find the culprit?"

"If none of them admit on their own, then punish the lot of them." Xavier said. "Talk to Carter and tell her to send Wagner and LeBeau to you, then talk to Rael and tell her to send Hogan and Summers to you. Punish them all until the culprit confesses. Then punish him or her accordingly." He said, devoid of emotion. He left right as the janitor arrived and Mr. Selvig began talking to him.

Bucky entered the room silently and pinching his nose and sat down in his seat next to Steve.

"What's Kraven the Garbage Hunter doing here?" Steve whispered.

"I couldn't find any of the the other janitors." Bucky admitted.

"But Kraven?"

"Yes, Steve. It's Kraven. Does it matter?" Steve shrugged.

"He just creeps me out. There's something off about him."

"There's something off about that chef Blonsky too, but I don't go about complaining about him."

"There's something off about _all_ the chefs, Bucky. And for that matter, the janitors." Steve shuddered. "Like... Like they're all in some top-secret evil villain group-like the _Legion of Doom_."

Bucky snorted and tried to cover it up as a sneeze. "Why would the _Legion of Doom_ be here?" He asked, still smirking.

"I dunno." Steve shrugged. "Maybe they're after the technology in your arm? Or Nathan's arm. Or Misty's arm." He picked up the pencil on his desk and began doodling on a blank piece of paper lying on his desk. "Or maybe they're looking to kidnap Heimdall the security guard because he's all seeing and all knowing. Or Principal Xavier since I'm _sure_ he's telepathic."

"What makes you say that?" Bucky asked.

"He's always one step ahead of you." Steve replied, still scribbling furiously on the paper. "He knows if you're planning to cut class or if you're going to pull a prank."

"He's like a thousand years old." Bucky said. "I'm sure he's seen everything before."

"Nuh-uh!" Steve called out, picking up a green coloring pencil. "Telepathic." He smirked. "And there's special technology in Scott's glasses that make him see normal, maybe they're after _that too_!"

"Who are?" Bucky folded his arms. "The Legion of Doom?" He chuckled.

"No." Steve said innocently, proudly holding up his drawing. It was a skull head with tentacles protruding from it, all colored in dark green. "Hydra."

* * *

Lessons went on as normal that afternoon, even if the fourth graders _did_ have to eventually move-to the cafeteria-while the janitors got to work eliminating the smell left behind by the stink bombs.

Steve had successfully managed to convince his class that the lunchtime workers and the janitors were part of the top-secret evil super villain group-that he had just invented in his own mind-called Hydra. The class (his friends) then decided they needed to protect the school by having a super spy organization of their own. An organization they democratically decided to name Shield. Because apparently, shields protect things. Who knew?

Steve got to work designing the logo of Shield, but every time he thought he made one good enough, something was usually wrong with it, so he ended up tossing all the drawings out. In the middle of his twelfth drawing, Mr. Selvig stood over him with a stern look on his face. Steve looked up sheepishly.

"What is this supposed to be, Steven?" Mr. Selvig asked, picking up Steve's drawing. It was a grey eagle with its wings spread open, around it a thick, black circle.

"Shield, Sir." Steve said quietly.

"Shield? What's Shield?" Mr. Selvig demanded.

"Nothing, Sir."

"I've got my eye on you, Mr. Rogers." He said, slamming the drawing back on Steve's desk. "Now pay attention. You'll need to use long division out in the real world." He walked over to check on Bruce. "Probably." He muttered under his breath.

* * *

In the third grade class, Mrs. Rael was letting her kids do art. They'd mostly all finished their "Get Well" art for their fellow classmate, Wade. Happy was nervously coloring in at the back of the class with Danny, Nathan and Megan.

"What're you drawing, Danny?" Megan asked.

"I'm drawing a picture of a dog." Danny replied. "I like dogs. I also like karate. What about you? What are you drawing?"

"Nothing really. Just people." Megan shrugged.

"What are you drawing, Nathan?" Danny asked.

"Me and Wade if we were superheroes." Nathan shrugged. "See." He said as he picked up his drawing and held it aloft. The drawing had two people, one of them clearly Nathan. He'd drawn himself looking like a traditional superhero with a domino mask, boots, tights and underpants over them and all in yellow and blue. "That's Wade." He pointed to a figure covered in a red and black bodysuit and a red mask.

"Why is his face red?" Megan asked.

"It's a mask." Nathan shrugged.

"It looks like he has red skin. Or is bleeding real bad." Megan smirked.

Nathan put the drawing back on the table and picked the black crayon back up. He scribbled something on the paper before holding it back up. "Better now?" He asked. The figure supposed to be Wade now had two large black circles covering the left and the right sides.

"What are those black splodges supposed to be?" Danny asked, pointing to one of the circles.

"Wade's eyes." Nathan smiled.

"Those patches are _way_ too big to be his eyes." Megan argued. "Also, Wade's eyes are brown."

"Whatever." Nathan huffed. "I think it looks cool."

"I think he looks like some sort of droopy eyed, stroke monster." Danny said, trying hard to suppress his laughter.

"Or a zombie." Megan added.

"Yeah, a zombie!" Danny smiled, pushed further to the point of uncontrollable laughter. "You could call him Dead Pool."

"Dead Pool!" Megan squealed, also trying hard to stifle her laughter. "That's brilliant. Nice one, Danny."

Danny flashed Megan an expression between proud of himself and struggling not to laugh.

"Shut up, guys." Nathan folded his arms sulkily.

"Hey, Happy." Megan said. "We haven't seen your drawing yet."

Happy looked at Megan and without breaking his stare, picked up his drawing and held it up. The top of the sheet was greyish black and the bottom was white with sprinkles of red. There were jagged structures-which looked like smoldering ruins-and grey clouds in the middle and what looked to be an undetonated nuclear bomb at the bottom.

"What... What is that?" Danny asked curiously.

"Nuclear winter." Happy said, emotionlessly. "See the mushroom cloud?" He asked pointing to the cloud. Now that they thought about it, the grey cloud _did_ look an awful lot like a mushroom cloud.

"Wow." Danny shook his head in shock. "Considering your nickname's 'Happy', you're the complete opposite of it."

"Yeah, that's bleak, Happy." Megan sighed.

"Class, listen up." Mrs. Rael said loudly. "I've just had an email from Mr. Selvig, the fourth grade teacher. Apparently, he wants to see Happy Hogan and Nathan Summers as soon as possible, so Happy and Nathan, go to Mr. Selvig's class immediately."

* * *

In the fifth grade class, Ms. Carter was having a class reading session of Swallows and Amazons. A knock at the door disturbed this.

"Come in." Ms Carter announced.

The door opened to reveal Darcy Lewis of fourth grade. "Hey, Ms Carter."

"Darcy, what a surprise." Ms. Carter said. "What brings you here?"

"I have a note from Mr. Selvig for you." Darcy said as she nervously shuffled into the classroom and robotically handed the note to Ms. Carter.

Ms. Carter took the note and read it over as Darcy shuffled out of the room. Ms. Carter's eyes widened as she read it. "Remy, Kurt, apparently Mr. Selvig wants to see you immediately in his classroom."

"I already paid my dues with him last year." Kurt whined in his thick German accent.

"Yeah, it's not fair that we have to go back to him." Remy huffed.

"It doesn't say anything about repeating fourth grade." Ms. Carter said. "Go to him. Find out why he wants you. I'm sure it's not as bad as you think it is."

"Easy for you to say." Remy rolled his eyes.

"Remy LeBeau. You are eleven years old and you have _no_ right to speak to me that way." Ms. Carter said sternly. "I will ensure you have lines upon your return to my classroom."

"Why is is _us_ who have to go to see Mr. Selvig?" Kurt asked, running his hand through his jet black hair.

"I don't know. You two had better go to find out." Ms a Carter said.

Remy and Kurt both stood up and walked out of the classroom. Walking towards Mr. Selvig's room, Kurt raised his head and started muttering unintelligibly. Well, it was unintelligible to Remy anyway, since Remy didn't speak German. Remy spoke French.

"What are you doing?" Remy asked.

"Praying." Kurt replied.

"Why do you need to pray?"

"Because some part of me is telling me we are in trouble with Mr. Selvig." Kurt said. "Remember last year, when we got in trouble with him?"

Remy swallowed nervously. He _did_ remember when they got in trouble. In fact, he couldn't forget it. The Mashed Potato incident was poised to go down in school lore and he and Kurt were at the center of it.

"I can't forget, Kurt."

"Then you understand why I'm praying to God for our souls to be saved."

All Remy could do was nod. Kurt began praying again and ended it with the sign of the cross. They continued in silence for a brief moment before arriving at the classroom. They entered to find all the fourth grade-as they expected-but their classmate Scott's brother-Nathan-and Happy Hogan, both in third grade. And Mr. Selvig, looking at them sternly.

"Sir, what's going on?" Remy asked.

"You know what's going on." Mr. Selvig said coolly. "Go stand by the wall." The two boys did as they were told, feeling they were in trouble for something already.

"Sir, why are we here?" Nathan asked.

"Because one of you pulled a prank." Mr. Selvig said. "One of you let off a stink bomb in the classroom. And now Sergei has had to clean up the mess that one-or more-of you has created." He picked up the whiteboard marker and began writing with it, on the whiteboard. "Either one of you could have done it."

"With all due respect, sir." Kurt spoke up. "I didn't do anything. And to my knowledge, neither did Remy."

"Well, in that case, you're free to go back to class." Mr Selvig said cheerfully.

"R-really?" Kurt said skeptically.

"No." Mr. Selvig said sternly. "You will stay here until I deem you to be innocent. And the same goes for everyone else." He said, looking challengingly at the children in his classroom.

* * *

At the end of the school day, nobody was any closer to figuring out who stink bombed the classroom. Mr. Selvig had got even more cross when he realized he'd been writing on the whiteboard in permanent marker. By law, he had to let everyone go home at the end of the school day and said they would 'reconvene' the next morning-whatever that meant.

Steve was walking home with Bucky, Phil, Clint and Nick. Snow was falling gently from the sky, creating a cold white blanket on the ground. However, Clint and Nick were drinking slushies, while Phil sensibly had his hands shoved in his coat pocket. Bucky's arms were swaying by his sides and it was clear he was only wearing one navy blue mitten.

While everyone else was wrapped up warm, Steve was only wearing his thin red hoodie that he picked up earlier in the day.

"Steve, aren't you cold?" Bucky asked.

"No." Steve said, kicking a snow pile as they passed by it.

"Steve, don't be an idiot." Nick said. "You just got out of hospital yesterday."

"I'm fine." Steve grunted.

"No you're not." Phil said calmly. "We can tell."

"Even _I_ can tell there's something wrong with your mood Steve." Clint shrugged. "No matter _how_ much you play it down."

"It's your father, isn't it?" Bucky asked quickly.

"... No." Steve said after a pause.

"Steven Grant Rogers, you had to think about that." Bucky grabbed Steve's arm with his won gloved hand. "Stevie..." He sighed. "We're here for you. All of us."

Steve inhaled deeply. "I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm fine."

"No you're not, Steve." Phil said. "Even Clint's picking up on it."

"It's not like my mother even cares." Steve tried to pull his arm away from Bucky's grip, only to be stopped by Phil.

"So the problem is with your mother?" Nick asked.

"I don't think she cares about Dad any more." Steve sighed quietly. "Or me."

"Of _course_ she cares about you, Steve." Phil said. It's _my_ mother who doesn't care about me. My _real_ mother, that is."

"Why say that?"

"She wants me back." Phil rubbed the back of his scarfed neck. "I was taken away from her because she never fed me or made sure I was warm. She never hit me though. Not like Bruce's dad does to him and his mom."

Steve looked in shock at Phil. "What?" He asked under his breath.

"Clint's dad hit him and his brother and mom so he lives away from his dad now. With his brother and mom. Tony's dad ignores him sometimes, but he's busy with work."

"Yeah." Nick nodded. "My father's the gym teacher-well, one of them. I have to do a _lot_ more exercise than _you'll_ ever have to."

"Steve. It'll be okay." Bucky said, putting his mittened hand on Steve's shoulder. "I promise."

* * *

For the rest of the week-and most of the next-everyone in fourth grade was locked down until someone confessed to the pranks. The writing was still on the whiteboard, but the janitors had managed to scrub most of it off, so it was faded. Kurt and Remy sat sullenly at the back, alongside Happy and Nathan during lunch times and recess.

Around the middle of the week, however, Bucky noticed that Steve was absent and decided to go around to his apartment after school.

"Hey, Steve." Bucky said to his friend as he opened his door. "You okay?"

"I'm fine." Steve lied.

"No you're not." Bucky looked at his friend, full of concern. "Is it your asthma?"

"I just wasn't feeling well." Steve said.

"Hang on..." Bucky frowned. "It's the fourteenth. How could I have been so stupid!" He growled.

"I wanna be alone."

"Nobody wants to be alone on a day like this, Steve." Bucky said gently. "Come on. We're getting flowers." Bucky grabbed his friend's wrist and pulled him out the door gently.

"Let me get my coat." Steve went back into his apartment and re-emerged wearing a red coat and a red, white and blue winter hat.

"Y'ready?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah." Steve sighed. "Where are gonna get flowers from? Or money for flowers?"

"I got five dollars in my pocket." Bucky shrugged.

"So whatever we can get for five bucks then?" Bucky nodded.

* * *

Steve and Bucky walked up to a park bench. Steve was carrying a small bouquet of flowers. Bucky wiped some of the snow off the bench and Steve knelt down to set the flowers down gently on the bench. Steve wiped some of the snow off the call plaque on the bench which read

**Sgt Joseph Rogers**

**1976-2009**

**Beloved Son, Husband and Father**

Steve put his arms on the bench and obscured his face. Bucky looked down at his friend whose shoulders were heaving uncontrollably. He put his hand on Steve's back and they both just stood there in silence as the sun went down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Nightcrawler also looks normal. He isn't blue and he doesn't have a tail. Yet. The Nick Fury in the fourth Grade is Nick Fury Jr in the comic books. Some of them are from the comic books, others are from the MCU while others have traits of both, like fourth Grade Nick Fury. And I know that Cable is the future son of Cyclops, but for the purposes of this story, they're brothers. Same with Cassie Lang/Stature, she's the daughter of Scott Lang's Ant Man, but in this story, they're brother and sister.  
> Hydra and SHIELD only exist as a product of the childrens' imaginations. And why not? When I was a that age, we were convinced that our teachers-except two-were all evil aliens out to get us and that we were all either Mutants, Inhumans (keep an eye out for them too, by the way) or from Krypton and we had to protect the world from... We just watched too much X Men movies. It was about then that the first ones came out (showing my age!). So Kraven the Hunter, Red Skull, Abomination, Crossbones... Not really bad guys. Just bad guys in the kids' minds. Oh, and with regard to the nuclear winter thing, I knew a guy we called 'Happy' because he was anything but.  
> I don't own any of the characters.


	5. Rhodey's Return

Almost month had passed and Loki still hadn't pulled any more pranks. Not that he was put off by the punishment he had caused everyone after, he was just waiting for the right moment. And that right moment came just before Valentines Day on what started out as a normal school day.

"Morning, Heimdall." Erik said as he walked through the school doors that morning.

"Morning Erik." The security officer said back. "I just feel like I should warn you, the Wilsons are in Xavier's office."

"The Wilsons?" Erik's voice filled with dread. "The military Wilsons right? Not-not the Canadian ones?"

"Sorry, but it's the Canadian ones."

"Did they have..."

"That little hell raiser with them, yes they did."

"God dammit!" Erik said under his breath. "So Wade's better then?"

"It would appear so."

"Right. Thanks for telling me."

* * *

Everyone was in the fourth grade classroom, still except for Rhodey. Tony had started to worry after around ten days, but never showed it to the rest of his friends. Mr. Selvig entered the classroom looking frustrated and a little bit fearful.

"Class," He began. "I feel like I should be the one to warn you..."

Darcy's hand shot in the air. "Sir! Sir!"

"Yes, Darcy?"

"Are we going to die? Like in a nuclear holocaust or something? Are you warning us about World War III?" She asked.

"No." He said. "That's silly. A nuclear holocaust will never happen."

"Then what, Sir?"

"Wade's back." The whole class went silent.

"Why would you need to warn us? He's harmless." Bruce said. "Talkative and irritating, but harmless."

"Are you trying to tell us he's better?" Hank asked.

"Yes, I am." Mr. Selvig said, dropping his satchel onto the table. "Now... I'm gonna do registration and then we'll check how your plant projects are getting on."

* * *

"Look who's back guys! It's me! Wade Wilson!" Wade shouted happily as he ran into the third grade classroom. "I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I'm not dead!" He shouted gleefully as he ran around the tables in the classroom.

Everyone simply stared at him in shock.

Wade then held his arms out and made airplane noises as he weaved through the tables. "Oh look! It's Shiro!" He said loudly and stopped by Shiro' table. "Hiya, Shiro!" Wade grinned, pushing his face towards Shiro's.

Shiro looked uncomfortable by the whole affair. "Wade, please-"

"How did your January go? I spent a week like fighting for my life or some shit and then I got out of hospital Mom said I drove her crazy and-BUTTERFLY!" He shouted, looking at the poster of a butterfly pinned on the wall of the classroom and began running towards it.

However, he saw Happy walk into the room and decided to turn back to him. "Hello, Happy!" Wade shouted in Happy's face. "Where's Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey, Sleepy and Doc?" He asked.

Happy opened his mouth to respond.

"And Snow White of course, where's she? Did you see _Cinderella_ on TV last night, I think it was on like the _Disney Channel_ or something-or no was that _Tangled_? No it was _Boy Meets World_ , which I _know_ is not a film, but still. I like _Boy Meets World_ , it's a lot better than any of the crapfest that's on Disney Channel or _Nickelodeon_ these days. In fact, the only watchable things on either channel is _Gravity Falls_ and _SpongeBob SquarePants_. _Cartoon Network_ do an alright _Teen Titans_ show and a neat _Batman_ show, but it's not _nearly_ as good as the campy Adam West shows from the 1960s. Are you familiar with shows from the 60s? My grandmother used to watch _Bonanza_ , _Bewitched_ and _Beverly Hillbillies_ like all the time. Oh and _I Dream of Jeannie_. What about that Robin Williams Genie in _Aladdin_ , huh? Bit of a wild card..."

"Shut up, Wade!" Everyone in the class shouted.

"Class, settle down." Mrs. Rael said walking into the classroom. She was accompanied by Miss Preston, the teaching assistant who closely worked with Wade. Everyone went to their seats, calmly-well, except for Wade. Wade insisted on bouncing there, no matter how much Miss Preston told him not to.

* * *

Wade found it hard to sit still in the lessons and took the bandages off his arms a few times, which got him sent down to the nurse. Wade, being Wade, ran there and back, tripping up a few times. Soon, it was lunchtime. As Miss Preston sat down to eat with Wade, he ran off to see the fourth graders.

"Hey there Captain America!" Wade shouted in Steve's ear. "Enjoy the Super Bowl? I did. It was awesome. I was only allowed to watch a little bit because for some reason... Hey, who's this?" He asked, pointing to Sam.

"That's Sam." Natasha said with a smile. She wanted to see how Wade would react on finding out he shared the same last name as Sam.

"What's your last name, Sam?" Wade asked. "My name is Wade Winston Wilson and I am in third grade. I'm ten years old-I was ten years old yesterday, actually. I didn't have a party because I was in hospital for a while and my mother was angry that I just kept talking and talking and talking so she sent me back to school and well... Here I am. Hey, did anyone ever..."

"It's Wilson." Sam said loudly.

"Huh?"

"Wilson. My last name is the same as yours. I'm Sam Wilson."

"Are we related?" Wade asked.

"I don't know." Sam asked. "Are we?"

"No." Wade shook his head.

"Then that's your answer." Sam picked up his peanut butter sandwich and took a bite out of it. Everyone stared at Sam. He had managed to do what nobody-not even the staff-had managed to do ever... Stun Wade Wilson into silence. Even Miss Preston-when she came to collect Wade-was amazed that Wade was quiet.

"So Wade." She said. "I'm getting married in the summer."

Wade said nothing.

"You can come, if you want."

Wade poked his mashed potatoes with his fork.

"I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but how would you like to be the usher at the ceremony?"

Wade looked up at Miss Preston with his big eyes and shrugged.

"Wade, I never thought I'd say this, but please talk to me."

Wade looked down at his food, leaving the teaching assistant to think over a problem she'd never had before-a silent Wade Wilson.

Meanwhile, over at the fourth graders' table, everyone was still eating. Sam looked up from his sandwich at Steve opposite him.

"Why did that Wade kid call you Captain America?" He asked.

"I support the New England Patriots." He shrugged. "Apparently they're the most patriotically American of the football teams, because they're called the _Patriots_ and their team colors are red, white and blue. Supposedly because I support them, that makes me the most America loving, flag waving kid at this school."

"Why _Captain_ though?"

Steve shrugged. "But it's got a better ring to it than America Man."

"Some days, I just feel so jealous of Clint." Tony sighed, throwing his fork on the table. "He's deaf. He can't hear Wade's rambling."

Phil interpreted Tony's words and Clint snorted before turning to Tony and signing to him.

 _Jealous of my non-hearing are you, Stark_? Clint signed smugly. _Not my amazing William Tell abilities with a bow and arrow_?

 _William Tell?_ Tony signed back, with a puzzled look on his face.

 _Where do you think I got the apple on the head trick from, Tony?_ Clint chuckled.

 _Robin Hood. No-Katniss._ Tony shrugged

 _You like Hunger Games?_ Clint raised an eyebrow.

 _No._ Tony blushed. "I'm gonna go... Bathroom." Tony mumbled before getting up to leave.

"Where's Stark going?" Someone asked. It was Logan, passing the group with his tray of half eaten food.

"Hell if I know." Bruce said. He picked up one of the fries off Tony's plate and ate it.

"I think he's just embarrassed because he'd never heard of William Tell before." Phil shrugged.

"Wow." Logan rolled his eyes. "He's a billionaire. He must have a massive library at his mansion. I know my parents keep a library. So if he has a library, surely it would have a book on like... Swiss folklore or something."

"Yeah, but maybe it's in Swiss." Natasha suggested.

"Then he can learn Swiss." Logan shrugged. "I can speak like... A million languages."

"Can _you_ speak Swiss?" Sam asked.

Logan paused. "No."

"What about German?" Steve asked. "I can speak some German. And a little Russian."

"Little bit of German. Fluent Russian."

"We need to have a conversation in Russian some day, Logan." Natasha smiled.

"French?" Bruce asked.

"Just a little bit, eh. Hoping to boost that up." Logan pushed his tray up on the table and climbed up into Tony's vacated seat.

"I thought you were Canadian and that _all_ Canadians spoke French." Bruce said.

"Yeah, that's why I can speak a little bit. I only learned the basics before I moved here, to NYC." Bruce nodded. "And as a rule, most Canadians don't speak French. That's those in Quebec. But we do learn the basics. Like bonjour and crap. And you know I'm fluent in ASL." Logan said, signing out his words.

"Huh." Phil nodded thoughtfully. "Pretty cool."

* * *

After the weekend, Sam entered the classroom to find an unfamiliar looking boy.

"Hey, Wilson!" Tony called out. "Come meet my bestie, Rhodey!"

"Rhodey?" Sam asked walking over to Tony and his friend.

"Yeah, that would be me." Rhodey waved.

"Oh. I'm Sam." Sam nodded. "Sam Wilson."

"I understand your father's in the army?" Rhodey said.

"Yeah, he is." Sam confirmed.

"Cool. My father's in the Air Force. And so is Carol's mom." Rhodey smiled. "I wanna go into the Air Force some day. And so does Carol."

"Really?" Sam asked. "She's never said anything."

"You had a career day yet-you know when everyone talks about what they wanna do when they're older?"

"No..." Sam said thoughtfully.

"Then when you do, expect Carol to talk about fighter jets like her life depends on it!" Rhodey and Tony share a laugh.

"Right, I'm going to... Uh..." Sam pointed to Clint and Phil, who were sat down and waving at him.

"Mister Pym!"

Sam heard their teacher shouting from behind he turned around to see Hank standing sheepishly with his head bowed down.

"Sorry, Sir." He mumbled.

"Henry, what have I _told_ you about hitting the other boys?" Mr. Selvig asked exasperatedly.

"You told me not to." Hank replied.

"Yes. I did." Mr. Selvig walked up to Hank and sighed. "So would you care to tell me why you just hit Peter?"

"Star Lord!" Star Lord shouted indignantly.

"Yes... Star Lord. Why'd you hit him?"

"He took away my ant farm from me." Hank folded his arms.

"Star Lord, we don't _steal_ things in this class."

"I just wanted to look at it." Star Lord groaned.

"Yes, but you should have asked Hank first." Mr. Selvig took the clear plastic box away from Star Lord and gave it back to Hank. "I know you're going through a tough time. How about I send you to Frank later?"

"I don't want to see Frank again."

"Tough. You're going." Mr. Selvig then turned to Hank. "And you've got yourself a lunchtime detention."

"No!" Hank cried out.

"You should have thought of that _before_ you punched Star Lord." Mr. Selvig walked over to his desk and brought out his lesson plan. "Alright, everybody sit down!" He called out. "We're gonna learn today about advanced calculus."

Noticing the confused stares and blank looks through the classroom made Mr. Selvig laugh out loud. "No, kids, I'm joking. But we _are_ gonna cover long multiplication though and then after recess, we will have our show and tell, so get out your books."

* * *

That lunch time, Wade ran over to the fourth grade friends of Steve, Tony, Nick, Clint, Sam and the others.

"So Miss Preston asked me to be an usher at her wedding in the summer-I talked with my mom and she said yes and so I'm gonna be an usher, I mean, I've never been an usher before, so I don't know what to expect, but it must be awesome because I'm so totally awesome, just like _Batman_ , hey did you read the latest Batman story? Did you know, Bruce, you share your name with _Batman_ since your names are both Bruce..."

"Shut up, Wade!" Everyone found themselves yelling.

Wade grumbled to himself as he walked sulkily to another table.

"Hi, guys!" He said cheerily. "How are you? Danny, I haven't seen you since class! And Luke and Misty and Jessica and Matt I haven't seen in ages-but then again, Matt can't see me anyway, right? And Maya can't hear me?"

"Wade, please." The brown haired girl begged. "Don't make me punch you in the face. I'd hate to do that to someone with burns."

"Hey, Danny, why do you hang out with Luke, Matt, Maya and Jessica-they're older than you."

"I hang out with them because they're my friends, Wade." Danny said coolly.

"And Matt's blind and Maya's deaf, so how does _that_ work when you're all talking to each other? And is Luke and Jessica's crush on each other awkward at all? And with Misty's prosthetic arm, that makes you the only normal member of your gang, Danny, how does it feel?"

"That's enough please, Wade." Danny leaned out of his chair to growl at Wade.

"And I _totally_ consider myself to be completely normal, thank you, Wade." Matt said back, poking Wade with his fork.

"Ow." Wade rubbed his shoulder. "For a blind guy, you sure saw me just now."

"I can still hear you, Wade." Matt said.

"Yeah and speaking of my prosthetic arm, your best friend Nathan has a prosthetic arm _and_ eye." Misty laughed as she put a forkful of food into her mouth. "People in glass houses shouldn't throw bricks and all that."

"Yeah and sometimes Scott hangs out with you and Nathan because he's a protective older brother."

"How do you know that, Luke?"

"You forget I'm classmates with Scott Summers, don't you?" Luke asked, poking little Wade in the chest.

"You _do_ know what people have started calling you, don't you, Wade?" Jessica asked, pulling Luke's arm back.

Wade shook his head.

"They call you 'Dead Pool'. Because you have no survival instincts, kids around here are just wondering when you're eventually gonna kill yourself from your stupidity."

"Yeah, some of us are even taking bets." Danny chuckled.

Wade frowned at him.

"I mean... I don't have a bet put down for May sixteenth."

"Why don't you bet on when Loki Odinson will kill Phil Coulson?" Wade suggested.

"What the hell are you on about, Wade?" Luke asked. He pointed over at Loki, who blew up a potato chip packet and popped it right by Phil's ear. "He's a prankster, _not_ a murderer."

"Yeah, put _that_ down for May sixteenth."

"Wade, they're laughing with each other, you know, like friends do." Danny said as if it was obvious.

"I know that, Rand. Just... Just do it anyway."

"Alright." Jessica said opening her reporter's notepad. "Sixteenth of May 2017, Loki Odinson murders Phil almost-Coulson." She finished taking her notes.

"Hah." Misty snorted. "Dinosaurs are more likely to come back than Loki ever murdering Phil-I mean, look at them, they're practically besties."

"Whatever." Wade rolled his eyes. "Did you see _Arrow_ last night? Man, was _that_ exciting! I mean it wasn't as exciting as _The Flash_ , but-hey do you think Pietro Maximoff could outrun _The Flash_? He's pretty quick, isn't he? Quick-like Speedy Gonzales! Oh I _love_ that cartoon, _Loony Tunes_..."

"Shut up, Wade!" Everyone yelled.

* * *

In the fourth grade classroom later on, Tony and Rhodey were the last ones to enter, thus they were really late. Hank was giving his Show and Tell presentation on his ant farm.

"How nice of you guys to finally join us." Mr. Selvig said. "Sit down boys. We will be having words later."

The two friends went over to their desks sheepishly and sat down.

"Continue, Hank."

"Well, there are over twelve thousand species of ant in the whole world. It may actually be much more since scientists think some species haven't actually been discovered yet. And only queen ants have wings and can fly. The rest are worker ants and they can lift twenty times their own body weight. When the queen dies, an ant colony won't survive long since the queen is the only one who can reproduce."

"Are you done, Hank?" Mr. Selvig asked.

"Oh-when ants fight, they like to fight to the death. It's kind of like _The Hunger Games_ , but with ants." Hank smirked. "Now I'm done."

"Alright!" Mr. Selvig sighed. "Give it up for Hank Pym and his ants!"

Hank took a bow, holding his ant farm and the class began clapping half-heartedly.

"Again." Mr Selvig muttered under his breath.

"Yeah! Nice one, Ant Man!" Darcy heckled as Hank went to sit down.

"Darcy! Please!" Mr. Selvig snapped. "Alright next up is..." He looked at a piece of paper. "Peter Quill."

"I don't want to present today, Sir." Peter said sadly.

"Alright, that's fine." Mr. Selvig picked up a pen and put a line through Peter Quill's name. "Then next up is Steven Rogers."

Steve walked to the front of the class. "My Show and Tell is on my favorite book, _The True Meaning of Smekday_ and it's by Adam Rex. It's come out as a movie called _Home_ already and a cartoon you can see on Netflix.."

Steve held up the book. "Anyway, the book is about a girl named Tip and how she finds and befriends an alien Boov named -like the pop star. When the alien Boov land, they rename earth Smekland because of their captain Smek and all the humans are forced down to Florida with rocket ships."

The class stared at Steve blankly.

"It's pretty funny too." Steve insisted. " likes eating dental floss, soap and urinal cakes. Tip, and Tip's cat Pig go off on adventure to find Tip's mother and save the world. I recommend it."

"Alright, Steve, are you done?"

Steve nodded. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Steve Rogers and another one of his bizarre books!" The bell rang and Mr. Selvig looked at his watch. "Alright. Class dismissed. We'll continue the Show and Tell after recess. Tony, James, a word please."

Tony and Rhodey exchanged worried glances as the rest of the class all left the room.

"Sir, it was Rhodey's fault, I..."

"My fault? Tony please!"

"Tony. I know it couldn't all be James' fault. Now would you care to tell me the truth." Mr Selvig demanded.

"We uh... We stayed outside during lunch time." Tony said.

"Mr. Heimdall probably saw us." Rhodey added.

"So now Principal Xavier knows about this. What a wonderful mess you two have gotten yourselves into." Mr. Selvig pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I'm sorry boys, but you're going to have to go to the principal's office."

"What?!" They cried out.

"I want you to go there now." Mr Selvig said.

"Not fair." Tony huffed.

"What's also not fair is you boys thinking that you can turn up to class any time you want."

"But-" Rhodey began.

"No buts, James. You've been back here for less than a day and _already_ you manage to get into trouble."

"Not-" Tony began.

"Fair?" Mr. Selvig asked. "Yes it is. Now you two will go to Principal Xavier's office and he will punish you accordingly."

"But Hank only got detention!" Tony wailed.

"Hank isn't a serial troublemaker like you two. Now go!"

The two boys left the classroom sheepishly. They went down the corridors to Principal Xavier's office without saying a word. They entered the reception before this office and saw Mary Storm sitting at her desk.

"Anthony Stark and James Rhodes. Why am I not surprised?" She said, looking up from her paperwork.

"Hey, Mrs. Storm." The boys muttered sheepishly.

"Shall I assume that Mr. Selvig sent you here because you need to be punished?" She looked at the boys' awkward movements. "Indeed I shall. Wait there." She stood up from her desk and knocked on the door to Principal Xavier's office before opening it.

"Mary?"

"Yeah, uh... James Rhodes and Anthony Stark..."

"What have they done _this_ time?"

"Shall I send them in, Charles?"

"Yes." Mary gestured to the boys with a nod of her head. They both walked into the office and Mary shut the door behind them.

"Anthony Edward Stark and James Rupert Rhodes. Unfortunately, this isn't our _first_ meeting." Principal Xavier put his folded hands on his desk as the boys sat down in the chairs on the other side of the desk.

"No, Sir." Tony said, avoiding eye contact.

"What did you do this time-actually, don't tell me, let's see if I can guess, shall we?" The boys squirmed uncomfortably in their chairs. "You stayed outside long after lunch break had ended, hiding out where your friend Clint Barton practices his archery. Oh and you were there for a full hour and ten minutes. Am I anywhere close to the mark?" The boys said nothing. "Heimdall watches all, boys. You should know that. I'm holding you here for the rest of the day-which only has an hour and thirty minutes-and I will be calling your parents."

"Is that it?" Rhodey asked.

"Yes." Principal Xavier answered. "You will probably be punished enough at home, so there will be no detention." The boys sighed in relief. "However..." He began. "You will each have two hundred lines. 'I will not skip class'. Begin." He pushed a piece of paper and a pen each towards the two boys. "Go on."

The two boys picked up the pens and began writing the sentence on the paper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So The True Meaning of Smekday is a friend of mine's favorite book. I read it and enjoyed it, so I made it Steve's favorite book and had him summarize the plot. If you haven't read it, I strongly suggest that you do. It is brilliant and there's just so much subtext in there for a children's book.   
> I introduced more characters in this chapter. A lot more. If you're having trouble keeping track of the characters, let me know. I've had to create a database myself to keep track of them all.  
> I don't own Marvel, the Walt Disney Company do. I also don't own The True Meaning of Smekday.


	6. Valentine's Day

The next day was Valentine's Day.

Peter made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen, where he saw his aunt and uncle kissing.

"Gross!" He exclaimed.

"When you find yourself a girlfriend, Peter, this won't seem gross to you then."

"I doubt _that_ , Aunt May." Peter put two slices of bread into the toaster.

"So, are you doing anything special for Valentine's Day then?" May asked.

"No. I'm just going out to the movies with Harry." Peter shrugged.

"Just as long as you don't see the 50 Shades of Grey movie later." May pushed a bowl towards Peter. "Your uncle and I are saving _that_ one for later." She and Ben shared a knowing glance.

"Smart choice." Ben pulled May in for a kiss and Peter looked at his aunt and uncle with disgust as he poured cereal into the bowl.

* * *

Clint entered the front room, where his mother was shouting down the telephone and waving around a bouquet of flowers. His brother, Barney, was sitting in the corner of the room, observing and eating a bowl of cereal. Though Clint couldn't hear what was being said, he knew it had something to do with his father.

* * *

"Morning, Steve." Sarah Rogers said. She was sitting at the table in the kitchenette, reading a newspaper and eating toast.

"How did you know it was me?" Steve asked.

"You and I are the only ones who live here." Sarah put down the paper and smiled at her only son. "So." She began. "Any plans for Valentine's day? A special girl?"

"No." Steve sat down at the table, opposite his mother. "I'm just gonna go meet my friends after school."

"Which ones?"

"Uh... Thor and Loki, Clint, Phil, Natasha, Nick and maybe Maria. Tony's grounded."

"Is he now?" Sarah asked.

"Mhm." Steve nodded. "He and Rhodey skipped class and had to go to Principal Xavier."

"So, where's Bucky gone then?"

"Oh, he's visiting his grandmother." Steve simply shrugged.

* * *

Loki and Thor were sitting in their front room with all the lights dimmed. Their parents were not yet awake.

"Do you think Jane will be appreciative of this card, Brother?" Thor handed a card to Loki.

"It is a bit... Pink? And glittery?" Loki looked questioningly at it.

It read 'Be My Valentine' in white writing over a pale pink background and there was a glittery pink heart in the center. Loki opened the card and read the message within. He looked up and shook his head at his brother.

"You do not gain a lady's affection by messages reading ' _you are in my heart this day and forever_ ', Thor..." He trailed off.

"Well how would _you_ gain a lady's affection, then?" Thor asked.

"With a grand gesture and a box of chocolate." Loki gave the card back to Thor. "Ladies love chocolate."

"Loki is correct." Their sister added as she came from the kitchen. "I have received many boxes of chocolate from those in my class in an attempt to gain my affection."

"But where do I get a box of chocolate from this Valentine's Day, Angela?" Thor asked.

"I had one this morning. You can have it." Thor smiled. "For a price." Angela smirked at her little brother.

* * *

"Philip!" A woman called out. Julie Coulson. "Get up, please! You're going to be late for school!"

"I don't wanna go!" Phil shouted back.

"You have to by law! And you've got Valentine's cards!"

"Yeah, from you and Dad."

"Get up, Phil!"

Phil huffed and slid out of bed.

* * *

Nick walked into the kitchen fully dressed, but without shoes.

"Where are _you_ going?"

"School." Was Nick's one word response to his brother.

"Why?"

"Because not everyone's lucky enough to have a PTA day." Nick said. "Then, after school, I'm going to meet Clint, Phil, Natasha, Steve, Maria and the Odinsons." Nick picked up a _Pop Tart_ and put it in the toaster.

"I sent some chocolate to the Odinsons' sister today."

"Did you, Mikel?"

"I did."

"She's gonna reject you, you know." Nick scoffed. "Aldrif 'Angela' Odinsdottir isn't exactly good with emotions."

"Yeah, but she's cute."

"Maybe it's because I've only got one eye, but I'm not seeing it." Nick shook his head as he retrieved his Pop Tart.

"You will when you turn twelve, brother."

"I'm happy being ten, thank you." Nick took a bite from his _Pop Tart_ and left the kitchen. Mikel followed.

* * *

Maria walked into the front room to see her younger brother watching TV. There was a note on the table from her father.

'Maria, I've been called into work and I'll be gone all day. Dad'

Maria sighed. Her father was always busy. He never had any time for her. She was pretty certain that being ten and left on her own was illegal.

* * *

School was fairly typical. Making Valentine's Day cards and sending them out to people in the class. Learning about Valentine's Day's origins, with a bit of sex ed, reading Romeo and Juliet and learning mathematics.

* * *

After school, everyone's lives were put back on track. And Bucky didn't want to go and see his grandmother. He wanted to go out with his friends.

"Come on, James." Bucky's mother Winifred said, grabbing his flesh arm. "There's nothing imposing about your grandmother."

"I never said there was." Bucky blew his bangs from his face.

"Rebecca has no problem with this."

"Becky's six. I'm ten."

"James. Please."

"No."

"Stay out here then, James. If you get kidnapped, don't come crying to me or your father." Winifred let go of Bucky's arm.

"I don't think I'd be able to if I was kidnapped anyway, Mom."

"Leave him out here, Winifred." Bucky's grandmother said. "Give him a soccer ball or something."

"No, Mom!" Winifred shook her head in disgust. "He needs to be punished."

"He's just a child. And one who's gone through hard times recently." Bucky's grandmother looked at him sadly. "Don't you remember what it was like seeing him in the hospital? In the intensive care unit, unconscious and unresponsive and on life support?"

Winifred looked down sadly.

"He's got brain damage, Winifred. He lost his arm. You said yourself he has good days and bad days. He's probably having a bad day and you can't punish him for that."

"I could never forget that." Winifred whispered. "Nobody should have to see their child like that." She looked sadly at Bucky who had his hands in his coat pockets, kicking snow piles.

"You need to be gentler with him." Bucky's grandmother said, putting an arm around her daughter. "James!"

Bucky turned to look.

"We're inside when you decide you want to be with us."

Bucky nodded and went back to kicking the snow.

"That's all you have to do, Winifred." She said and the two of them went inside, leaving Bucky out in the snow.

* * *

Angela pushed Thor out of the front door with his card and a box of chocolates.

"Go win her heart, little brother."

Thor walked uncertainly to the house across the street.

"Do you _really_ think Thor will win her heart?" Loki asked, standing by her side.

"I am not sure, Loki." Angela frowned.

"Look, Jane is answering the door." Loki pointed to the house. "They are talking."

"Indeed." Angela said in thought.

"I am not aware of what Thor sees in Jane Foster." Loki shrugged. "I prefer..."

"Loki, be quiet." Angela hissed quietly. "She has accepted the chocolate."

"So she has." Loki noted.

Jane kissed Thor on his cheek and went back inside.

Thor walked back to his house with a goofy smile on his face.

"I see that went well, Thor." Angela smiled.

"Indeed, Sister." Thor exhaled. "It went very well."

"She kissed you, Brother."

"Yes..." Thor held his hand over where Jane had kissed his cheek. "I was not expecting that myself."

"What's happening then?" Loki asked.

"We are meeting tomorrow after school to see a film."

"Not _50 Shades of Grey_?" Loki raised an eyebrow.

"Loki, I would not watch 50 Shades of Grey it was the last film on Midgard." Thor shook his head.

* * *

Over at his grandmother's house, Bucky was absentmindedly building a snowman. A girl came up to his snowman and observed him for a few moments.

"What are you building?" She asked. Bucky looked at her, startled.

"A snowman?" He said questioningly.

" _Do you wanna build a snowman_?" She asked in sing song.

"I'm building one." Bucky said.

"With me, I mean." The girl chuckled.

"Uh... Sure?" Bucky shrugged. "But I don't know your name."

"I know yours." The girl said. "It's James Barnes, but everyone calls you Bucky."

"How-"

"I go to Marvel Elementary as well." The girl smiled. "I'm in second Grade, but I'm nine."

"Why-?"

"I... I don't wanna talk about it." The girl said quickly.

Bucky took his metal arm from the snowman.

The girl stared at it. "What...?"

"I don't wanna talk about it either." Bucky kicked the snowman. A loud noise caused Bucky to scream and cover his ears. "Nein!" He shouted. "Ich bin nicht glÃ¼cklich! Ich bin nicht glÃ¼cklich!"

"Bucky?" The girl asked.

"Nein!"

"Bucky, it's okay." The girl rubbed Bucky's back soothingly. "It was just a car backfiring."

Bucky slowly lowered his arms.

"Is that how you lost your arm..."

"Ich nicht..." Bucky paused. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well uh... I should probably say my name's Daisy, but everyone just calls me Skye."

"Why-"

"It goes under 'I don't wanna talk about it', so..."

"Skye?"

"Yeah. Just call me Skye."

* * *

"Mom?" Steve asked as he and his mother watched the news on the TV, interrupting Donald Trump's bigly address.

"Yes, sweetie?"

"Are you going to see that Mommy and Daddy movie later?"

"50 Shades..." Sarah began.

"Darker, yeah." Steve finished and nodded.

"No, Steve. I'm not. I'm busy tonight." Sarah explained.

"Are you going to see it at all?"

"I might."

Steve simply nodded. "Okay." He stood up. "I'm gonna go to Phil's. We're going to see a movie."

"Alright." Sarah stood up from the table and walked to the door with Steve, who was too small to reach the latch by himself. "Have you got your inhaler?"

"Yes, Mom." Steve nodded.

"And a spare?" Steve nodded again. "Have you taken your heart medication? Your anti-seizure meds? Your asthma meds?"

"Yes, Mom." Steve sighed.

"What about your kidney meds? Your iron tablets? Your insulin? A small candy..."

"YES, Mom!" Steve said exasperatedly.

"Did you put them in your backpack?" Sarah gasped. "Did you take your muscle relaxants? In case your muscles spasm up again..."

"I'm fine, Mom." Steve rolled his eyes. Just because he was born almost four months premature and was a sickly child compared to everyone else, didn't mean he had to be babied.

"Alright, Steve." Sarah sighed. "I just care, Sweetie." She wrapped her arms around her son and Steve held her back.

"I know, Mom." Sarah let go of Steve and opened the door for him.

"Go get Phil." Sarah smiled bittersweetly after her only child as he walked the hallway to Phil's apartment.

* * *

"So, when are you going to see that film?" Julie asked

"I'm not sure." Phil admitted. "Soon, I think."

"Well, your dad and I are looking forward to a movie later." Julie said. "We want you back before we go because Sarah Rogers down the hall is going to be babysitting you."

"You're going to see that 50 Shades of Darkness that everyone's parents are going to, aren't you?" Phil asked.

"You're not supposed to know about it." Robert said.

"But there's billboards for it everywhere, Dad." Phil shrugged.

"You don't see it until you're married."

"I'm not going to get married." Phil said. "International super spies don't get married."

"You still think that you're going to be a spy, huh?" Robert smiled and tousled Phil's hair.

"I am one already!" Phil protested.

"Are you?" Julie asked.

"Yeah! Hydra's taken over my school! _Someone_ has to protect America!"

"And Hydra is...?"

"An evil supervillain organization. Like the _Legion of Doom_." Phil explained. "They even got a logo!"

"Why haven't I heard about this?" Julie asked.

"What does the logo look like?" Robert asked.

"A squid!" Phil said.

There was a knock on the door and Phil went to answer it.

Steve was standing in the doorway. "Hey, Phil, you ready?"

"Steve! Dad, ask Steve about it!" Phil babbled excitedly.

"Ask Steve about what?" Steve asked.

"Hydra!" Phil said.

"The only thing I'm interested in now is why you call your friend 'Captain America'." Robert said.

"Because it's better than America Man." Steve said.

"Nah. It's all to do with his fourth of July birthday and the fact that he supports the New England Patriots, loves Apple Pie and goes to the Boy Scouts." Phil said.

"You go to the Boy Scouts too, Phil." Julie said.

"I do. But Steve's just like a walking stereotype." Phil shrugged.

"Look at you, using big words." Robert chuckled.

"Well, I _am_ ten..."

"Okay. Don't go far and don't forget Ms. Rogers is babysitting you later."

"Alright, bye Mom. Bye, Dad." Phil said.

"Let's go pick up Clint." Steve said.

"Good idea." Phil nodded.

"And Nick's meeting us outside our apartment building soon." Steve added.

* * *

"Junior, are you _sure_ you're okay?" Nick Fury Sr asked.

"Dad, I already _told_ you, I'm _no_ t meeting a girl-well Maria's a girl, but I'm not meeting her alone." Nick Fury Jr groaned.

"Just doing my fatherly duty."

"Why don't you do that with Mikel?"

"I do."

"Then why don't you know he's trying to woo Aldrif Odinsdottir?!" Nick Jr spat out the name. Nick Sr recoiled in horror.

"He's doing WHAT?!" Nick Sr shouted angrily.

"Yeah, he sent Aldrif Odinsdottir a box of chocolate this morning."

* * *

"So, who was it who actually sent you the chocolate, Sister?" Loki asked.

"I had two people send me chocolate."

"Who sent you the box you gave Thor to give to Jane?"

"Black Bolt." Angela sighed. "I received another box from Mikel Fury. I like him, as a friend. But he seems to think that there is something more."

"Mikel?" Loki asked.

"Yeah." Angela nodded.

"So... Black Bolt?" Loki looked at Angela questioningly.

"Blackagar Boltagon. But, everyone calls him Black Bolt."

"Interesting." Loki nodded. "Where does this 'Black Bolt' hail from?"

"A place he calls Attilan?" Angela shrugged. "I don't know. Black Bolt is a man of few words."

"A man? I thought he was ten."

"You thought wrong, Loki. He is eleven."

* * *

"Hey Mrs. Barton." Phil smiled at the woman in the doorway. "Is Clint home?"

"Yeah, one second." Clint's mother stepped away from the door.

"Who do we need after Clint?" Steve asked.

"Uh... Maria." Phil nodded.

"Yeah. Oh and the Odinson twins."

"That's right. The Odinsons."

Clint's mother re-emerged at the doorway with Clint and signed to him.

Clint nodded and he and his mother hugged.

"Let's go." Clint said to Phil and Steve and they all walked down the hall together.

* * *

Maria arrived at her house after school to see that her father still wasn't there. She left house and walked further up the street to the Fury house. Nick was waiting for her outside the building already.

"You ready to go?" Nick asked.

"Only if you are." Maria replied.

The began the walk to Clint, Phil and Steve's apartment building.

"So what should we name our snowman?" Skye asked.

"I don't know." Bucky put his hat on the snowman.

"He kind of looks like an army cadet now!" Skye laughed.

"Snowman Soldier!" Bucky snorted.

"Winter Soldier is better." Skye shrugged.

"Winter Soldier..." Bucky pondered.

"James!" Bucky's grandmother called out from her front door.

Bucky ran to her. "Hi, Grandma." He wrapped his arms around is grandmother.

She took his hands in hers and looked down sadly at his prosthetic. "Who's your friend, James?"

"That's Skye." He beckoned over for Skye to come over.

"Hello, Skye." Bucky's grandmother greeted.

"Hello Mrs. Barnes." Sky said.

"Oh, I'm not Mrs. Barnes." Bucky's grandmother corrected. "I'm Mrs. Buchanan."

Skye nodded.

"Tell me, what do you think about the Furys?"

"I think it's weird how Nick Fury and Nick Fury Jr both have eyepatches." Skye replied.

"Do you think they're nice people?"

"Yeah. They're really great!"

"Coach Fury is your neighbor?" Bucky asked his grandmother.

"Oh yes." She nodded. "Mikel and Nick Jr always stop to say hello. I see them often when they go to school or I go to work."

"Can I come in, Grandma?" Bucky asked. "I'm cold out here."

"Yes, you can James." Bucky's grandmother said, smiling softly. "Would Skye like to come in as well?"

Skye gave a small nod.

"Come in then kids and I'll fix you up some nice hot cocoa."

"Extra marshmallows?" Bucky asked hopefully.

"Extra marshmallows." Bucky's grandmother smiled as she moved aside to let the kids inside her house.

* * *

Nick Fury Sr was pacing angrily around his living room, while Mikel sat on the couch, looking confused.

"You sent chocolates to Odin's daughter Aldrif, didn't you?" Nick Sr said after a while.

"Uh yeah." Mikel nodded. "Did I do something wrong?"

"You sent chocolate to Aldrif Odinsdottir!" Nick Sr repeated, shouting. "You're too _young_ to get involved with girls!"

"Dad, I don't plan on having sex with her just yet, I mean, I _know_ I'm twelve." Mikel sighed. "Besides, I'm sure she has a thing for that Black Bolt guy..."

"Nick, leave the boy alone." A dark-skinned woman said as she entered the room. Nick Jr's mother and Mikel's stepmother.

"Thanks, Nia." Mikel smiled.

"Nick, he said he doesn't want sex. Why aren't you happy with that?"

"Because I know _boys_ and I know _girls_ and all genders always have ulterior motives." Nick Sr replied, folding his arms. "As a teacher, I've seen it all."

"Nick, you're a gym coach." Nia rolled her eyes.

"I _teach_ gym." He shrugged.

Mikel sat on the couch, confused by his parents' interactions.

"Come on, Nick." Nia grabbed his shoulders and spoke slightly seductively. "I want you all nice and relaxed for that movie later..."

Nick Sr giggled softly. "Alright, but only because I love you." Nick Sr and Nia kissed.

A look of disgust found its way onto Mikel's face. "Gross." He said.

"Oh, Mikel, you're excused." Nick Sr said with a smile on his face, briefly breaking away from the kiss.

Mikel jumped off the couch and ran out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow.

* * *

"So what movie are we watching then, guys?" Steve asked. He was standing in the movie theater lobby with his friends Natasha, Maria, Phil, Loki, Thor, Nick and Clint, who was fiddling with a pair of hearing aids. The kids looked at each other and grinned.

" _Lego Batman_!" Thor yelled loudly.

"Brother, please. Stop embarrassing yourself." Loki said

"It's not Thor's fault if you don't know how to have a good time, Loki." Steve said.

"I know perfectly well how to have a good time and it certainly does _not_ involve watching dancing Lego bricks like my brother would have me believe."

"So... You _don't_ like Lego?" Nick asked with a puzzled look on his face.

"I have never played with Lego and I have not seen the first Lego movie." Loki replied.

"Never watched..." Maria grunted in disbelief.

"That's it, Loki." Phil said.

"Yeah. We're taking you to see Lego Batman" Steve added. "No ifs, ands or buts about it."

"Butts." Thor giggled.

"Shut up, Thor." Loki growled as Maria walked over to the ticket counter.

"I can't believe Loki has never played with Lego." Clint shook his head.

"Tell me about it." Phil scoffed. "That's just shocking. Lego is a big part of childhood that he's missing out on."

"Not for long." Clint smirked.

"I got us all tickets!" Maria said in sing-song.

"Cool!" Phil shouted. "I can't wait!"

"You going to see The Lego Batman Movie too?" Peter Parker asked, walking up to the group.

"Hi, Peter! Hi, Harry!" Clint waved.

"Well it's sure as hell not 50 Shades of Blergh!" Maria replied.

"Let me guess, you're gonna watch Lego Batman, too?" Wade Wilson asked happily. "I've been looking forward to the Lego Batman movie for ages. I mean, the first movie was out years ago and it seems like a long wait because time moves _really_ slowly, doesn't it? I never watched it then and I liked it when Bob showed it to me, oh by the way, _this_ is my friend, Bob." Wade pointed at the brown haired boy standing next to him.

"Hey." Bob waved.

"He's my best friend and neighbor. But my best friend is also Nate here and Weasel, who's buying tickets at the counter there."

"Weasel?" Maria and Nick exchanged glances.

"Yeah." Nathan nodded. "His name's Jack, but Wade figured he needed to have a nickname for some reason."

"Right." Phil nodded. "Well, I'm Phil and this is my best friend, Clint-he's deaf."

"I'm Maria." She said.

"Natasha Romanoff." She pointed to herself.

"My name is Thor Odinson and this is my twin brother Loki!" Thor announced loudly.

"Nick Fury Jr. But just call me Nick."

"Steve." He said with a soft nod.

"I'm Peter."

"And I'm Harry."

"Cool." Bob nodded. "Well, I'm Bob. I've known Wade and Nate for years. So how do _you_ know Wade and Nate?"

"We go to the same school." Nick said.

"Yeah, Marvel Elementary."

"That's cool." Bob said with a smile. "Me and Jack, we go to Stan Lee Elementary."

"Yeah, I know someone who used to go there." Maria said. "They go to Marvel Elementary now."

"Is it true you have _Inhumans_ there?" Phil asked.

Bob nodded.

"That is _so_ cool!" Phil squealed.

"What are Inhumans?" Peter asked.

"Humans with super powers." A boy said. He had short and straight brown hair and thick glasses. "You're talking to Wade, so I'll assume he's told you my name."

"Weasel?" Steve asked.

The boy nodded. "Jack, yeah, but they call me Weasel."

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Why not?" Wade laughed.

"Humans with super powers." Loki repeated. "That is impossible."

"No, it isn't." Bob said. "There was a girl in our school and she could make earthquakes."

"Daisy Johnson!" Bob and Weasel said in unison.

"She was taken away from her parents and lives with a foster family now." Weasel said.

"Wow. She sounds really cool." Steve smiled.

"If she even _exists_ , Steve." Loki muttered.

"Yeah, but imagine being able to make earthquakes!" Maria laughed. "That would be so awesome!"

"Right, I think we better go to the theater." Nick said anxiously, looking at his watch.

"Yeah, you're right, Nick." Peter said. "We don't wanna get caught up in the 50 Shades of Eew crowd."

"My parents are going to see that later." Nick said.

"So are mine." Phil groaned.

"And ours." Thor hung his head.

"My aunt and uncle, too." Peter shook his head as if he were trying to shake the thought out of his mind.

"My parents are as well." Wade stuck out his tongue.

"Mine too." Bob sighed.

"My mom's going tomorrow." Steve grunted.

"I have five siblings. My parents couldn't take time off from looking after us all." Nathan said.

"Nate, you lucky bastard." Wade screwed his face up in mock anger.

"Yeah well they're going anyway. The guy next door is watching us all."

"Sorry to hear that." Maria muttered. "It's times like this I'm thankful I just have a dad." She rolled her eyes.

* * *

Bucky stood in the doorway of his grandmother's house. He, his mother and sister were heading off home.

"I'll see you next week, Winifred." Bucky's grandmother said to his mother.

"I love you, Mom." Bucky's mother hugged her mother.

"I know." Bucky's grandmother said, pulling away from the hug. "Don't push James. That's not what he needs. He needs love and understanding."

"I know, Mom."

"Be patient. He's had a lot of brain damage. He's coming more and more into himself. Don't spoil it."

"I've never dealt with anything like this before."

"I know. Nobody's taught how to deal with something like this."

"I'm just happy he's alive."

"I know." Bucky's grandmother turned to his sister. "I'll see you next week, Becky."

"I love you, Grandma!" Becky squealed, throwing her arms around her grandmother.

"I'll see you next week, James." She said, holding Bucky's flesh hand.

Bucky nodded quietly.

"Take care!" She shouted after her family, who began piling themselves into Winifred's car.

Skye ran up to Bucky before he could climb in. "Bucky, can I see you on tomorrow in school?" She asked.

Bucky nodded. "Yeah. I like you. You can meet my best friend Steve. He'd like you too."

"Oh." Skye said, a hint of disappointment in her voice. "Okay."

"I'll see you tomorrow." Bucky smiled and climbed into his mother's car.

* * *

After he movie had ended, the kids all came from the theater.

"That was awesome!" Wade shouted. "I loved the bit where they all saved Gotham City because superheroes are awesome! I wonder what life would be like if we were all superheroes? Steve would be Captain America I guess, because go Patriots and apple pie and he would have the power to turn everything American! Clint would be like a Robin Hood kind of guy with his archery-ooh! He could be called Hawkeye! And Thor and Loki would have like Norse god powers, seeing as they're named after Norse gods anyway and they would be called Captain Thor and Mister Loki... No, just Thor and Loki would do. Nathan would be Cable like he called himself as a kid and he would have a super strong fake arm, just like Bucky-he can be in our superhero group too-and maybe Tony's father can give Nate an upgrade on his eye to make it shoot lasers or something! And my superpower would be to heal from my injuries, because I get hurt a _lot_..." He babbled as they walked to the cinema lobby.

"He won't shut up now, will he?" Nick groaned.

"Chances are, he won't." Maria sighed. "What do you think, Clint?"

Clint shrugged.

"He took out his hearing aids about the time Wade started talking." Phil explained.

"Wade was getting on my nerves so I took my hearing aids out." Clint repeated.

"I like Wade." Bob said. "It's just his talking annoys me when he just goes on."

"Captain America my ass." Natasha scoffed.

"Language!" Steve said.*

"Steve might love the Pats and apple pie and go to Boy Scouts but that doesn't mean everything he touches should turn to American." Nathan shook his head.

"... And maybe Stephen Strange should be in our group too, he can baffle the bad guys with his awesome cool magic tricks. But if we include Strange then we should include Wanda. She can do awesome magic as well. And Hank and his ants-but then again, those ants are pretty awesome as well. Oh! And Danny can do good karate... I just realized now that almost everyone in our school could be a superhero."

"Are you quite done, Wade?" Loki asked.

"Uh... Yeah." Wade nodded.

"Good."

"Oh no..." Peter groaned and hid his face with his arm.

"What is it?" Harry asked.

"My aunt and uncle!" Peter whined. "They're here for that 50 Shades movie!"

"So are _my_ parents!" Nathan hissed.

"Let's get out of here before I see _my_ parents!" Phil said urgently and the kids all hurried out of the cinema.

* * *

"So I guess I'll see you in school." Bob said, breaking away from his small group of himself, Nathan, Wade and Weasel, which had separated from the main group outside the cinema earlier.

"I guess." Weasel shrugged. "I'll see you at school then, Bob. Don't forget what's happening tomorrow though, it's Show and Tell."

"Alright, see you." Bob waved to the rest of the group and walked over to his apartment block.

"I'm gonna call my dad to pick me up from your place when the 50 Shades is over, Wade." Nathan said as the three boys carried on walking to Wade and Weasel's apartment block-next to Bob's.

"Yeah that's okay. I mean, my Mom's also gone to see that _50 Shades of_ Sexytime movie."

"Don't you have a sitter?" Weasel asked.

"Yeah, I do." Wade replied. "Her name is Blind Al and she's pretty cool. So you should be okay, Nate."

"Alright." Nathan shrugged as the trio entered the apartment building.

"I'm on the first floor." Bob said. "I'm taking the stairs as usual. My doctor says I have to get regular exercise or my heart won't work properly. Again."

"Alright. See you, Bob!" Wade shouted as Bob disappeared on the stairs.

"Nate, you been to my place recently?" Wade asked as he called the elevator.

"Uh... Not since I think Halloween? Remember that? Clint went as a robot, Phil went as James Bond, you went as one of the Ghostbusters, Weasel went as Hercules and Bob went as the hydra while I went as the Six Million Dollar Man." Nathan said.

"Yeah, that was pretty fun!" Wade laughed. "We gotta do it again! Well, _next_ Halloween." The boys stepped into the elevator and Wade pressed a button. "Well, the reason I asked is because a new neighbor moved in. Yeah." Wade said, taking in the stunned look on Nathan's face. "Mr Liefeld next door kind of-I dunno-dropped down dead and over Christmas and a new person moved in. She'sâ€¦ Albino, I think."

"Albino?" Nathan asked.

"Yeah." Wade shrugged as the elevator dinged. "Weird, right? I didn't think they existed."

* * *

"Junior!" Nick Sr shouted as Nick Jr walked through his front door.

"Y... Yeah, Dad?" Nick Jr asked uncertainly. "What's Dum Dum doing here?" He asked, gesturing to the ginger haired man with a moustache standing next to his father.

"Your mom and I are going to the next showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Dum Dum will be looking after you, your brother and Skye for the next two hours." Nick Sr said.

"Nick! Let me grab my coat!" Nia said, grabbing her coat as Nick Sr peppered her neck with kisses.

"Alright, see you in the morning, kids." Nick Sr said, opening the front door. "See you, later, buddy." He said to Dum Dum.

"Bye, Dad!" Mikel said. "Bye Nia."

Nick Jr stood staring at the door, disgusted.

"So kids, how about a game of Monopoly!" Dum Dum asked happily, clapping his hands together.

"I'd rather die." Mikel groaned.

"Connect 4?"

"There's 4 of _us_." Nick Jr pointed out.

"Twister?" Dum Dum suggested. "Nope. Bad idea. Let's just play Mario Kart. You have that still, right?"

Skye nodded.

"All righty then! We'll do that!" Dum Dum led the kids into the front room. "You do anything interesting today?"

"I went to see The Lego Batman Movie." Nick Jr said.

"And I made a snowman with my new friend, Bucky." Skye smiled.

"That's _your_ snowman in front?" Dum Dum asked turned on the Wii and set the channel.

"Yep. Winter Soldier." Skye said proudly.

"Well, it's very good." Dum Dum said, picking up four Wii remotes. "And what did _you_ do, Mikel?"

"Nothing." Mikel shrugged.

"You were pining over Angela Odinsdottir!" Nick Jr said loudly.

"No I wasn't!" Mikel shouted defensively. He turned to Dum Dum. "I wasn't! I really wasn't!"

* * *

"Hello, Thor, hello Loki!" A woman said kindly as Thor and Loki walked through the front door. She was knitting and sitting next to a man reading the paper. Opposite them Angela was playing on her Nintendo 3DS.

"Did you enjoy your movie?" The man asked.

"Yes, Father." Thor said excitedly. "We went to see The Lego Batman Movie. I very much enjoyed it and so did Loki, isn't that right, Brother?"

"I did not quite enjoy it with as much fervor as Wade Wilson did, but as far as movies go, this one was passable." Loki replied.

"Okay, that is good, sons." Thor and Loki's father said. "I am happy you both enjoyed yourselves."

"Father, why are you and Mother fully dressed?" Thor asked. "Surely you are not going to see that 50 Shades of..."

"Indeed we are, Thor." Thor and Loki's mother replied. "We are waiting for the Coulsons."

"Is everyone going to see 50 Shades of Bull?" Loki asked.

"Loki, be polite." Their father said.

"Leave him alone, Odin. At least he never said the swear." There was a knock at the door and Thor and Loki's mother put her knitting down and went to answer the door. "Rob, Julie, we're ready."

"Have you got a babysitter? Who's looking after your kids?" Robert asked.

"Heimdall the school security guard lives next door." Odin said. "We have asked him to keep an eye on the children."

"Ah." Julie nodded. "We have Sarah Rogers looking after our son."

"So, Frigga, you said you were ready?" Robert questioned.

"Yes." Frigga turned to the children. "Be good. Mr Heimdall is next door if you need him and your father and I are just a phone call away."

The kids nodded and the four adults left the house for the movie.

* * *

"Thanks for letting me stay here tonight, Mr Osborn." Peter said, eating a bowl of cereal at Norman Osborn's kitchen island.

"That's fine, Peter." Norman said with a smile. "You're always welcome here."

"Harry and I are gonna play Battleship later."

"Are you?"

"Yeah." Peter nodded. "It's fun. I like Battleship."

"You're not watching the Battleship movie?"

"No way!" Peter squealed. "That movie was terrible. It would have been better if it were two guys playing Battleship."

"Hey, Peter." Harry said, walking over to the sink. "Battleship?"

"You bet!" Peter slid down from his stool and he and Harry ran out of the kitchen.

* * *

"Is everyone comfortable?" Sarah asked. She was standing in front of the TV in the Coulson apartment.

Phil and her son Steve were sitting on the floor in front of the couch, while Natasha was sitting on the couch. A bowl of popcorn was sitting between Phil and Steve on the floor.

"Yes!" The kids called out frustratedly.

"Just put the movie on already!" Phil shouted.

"Yeah, we're all old enough to be watching Toy Story." Natasha muttered.

"Alright already!" Sarah pressed play on the DVD player and sat down next to Natasha on the couch.

* * *

Clint walked through his apartment door to find his mother and brother sitting on the couch and the bouquet of flowers torn up and thrown in the bin. Clint could see is mother talking to him, but he could hardly understand.

"Clint, wow? was dog? movie?" Clint's mother asked as Clint tried to lip read. Tried being the operative word.

 _I can't hear. I have my hearing aids out_. Clint signed.

 _I'm sorry Clint_. His mother signed. _I asked how was your movie._

 _It was good_. Clint smiled and nodded _. Even if it was sometimes hard to hear even with the aids in._

What movie did you see? Barney signed.

 _Lego Batman_. Clint spelled out.

Was it funny? Barney asked.

"Yeah, it was!" Clint squealed loudly, unaware of the volume he was speaking at. "Anything with superheroes is pretty cool."

 _We're just watching Modern Family_ _if you want to join us?_ Clint's mother said.

Clint shrugged and walked over to the couch.

His mother picked up the remote control and turned the subtitles on. _Modern Family_ with her sons was a good end to the stressful Valentine's Day she'd had. And after all, she was going to see _50 Shades of Grey_ the next day with the other single moms she knew, Sarah Rogers and Marie Danvers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first introduction to Weasel and Hydra Bob! Yay! And Harry Osborn! Double yay! I also introduced Blind Al! Dum Dum Dugan! Odin! Frigga! Norman Osborn!  
> I headcanon that Bucky's middle name is Buchanan because it was his mother's maiden name. It's common practice where I'm from. My mother's middle name is her mother's maiden name and my middle name is my aunt's name, but my parents aren't married. If it's the same, then his grandmother would almost certainly be Mrs Buchanan.  
> To clarify, Skye/Daisy is being fostered by Nick Fury Sr. She is closer to her AOS counterpart, with only that she was taken in by Nick Sr in common with the comics since I'm unclear (as is she) about her AOS background. All the Avengers, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D and their villains will be a mix of both their MCU counterparts and comic counterparts.  
> Mr Liefeld is indeed a reference to Rob Liefeld, co-creator of Cable and Deadpool. I don't like his art, but he was a necessary evil to get so many great things we enjoy today, such as; Deadpool, Cable, X Force and the Walking Dead.  
> * Yes, it's an Age of Ultron joke.


	7. Trapped in the Closet

"Loki!" Janet Van Dyne shouted out. "Let us out!"

"No!" Loki shouted on the other side of the door. "Enjoy each other's company!"

Janet could hear Loki's laugh getting further away. She growled.

Loki had tricked her, Sam and Bucky into the janitor's supply closet during afternoon recess for one of his pranks. It wasn't malicious, but it _was_ annoying. Especially for her being the only girl trapped with two boys.

"Jan, he'll come back." Bucky said, folding his arms. "I mean, he has to, right? He can't keep us here overnight."

"The janitors will find us, anyway." Sam shrugged.

"No. The janitors are at home." Janet shook her head. "They go home in the afternoon. Come in early in the morning."

"Mr. Heimdall then."

"Probably. If he saw Loki trick us in here, that is."

"So, what?" Sam asked.

"So, we wait." Bucky sighed and sat on a box full of soap bars.

The kids waited and waited but it was only until last bell that they realized the stark truth.

"Guys, I can't see us getting out of this closet today." Janet sighed.

"Does that mean we're locked in here all night?" Sam asked.

"Looks that way, Sam." Janet paced the mid-sized supply closet. "Bucky, are you okay?"

"Mom's gonna be so worried." Bucky whispered.

"She's been so protective of him since his accident." Janet explained.

"Is that when he lost his arm?" Sam asked.

"He had severe brain damage too." Janet said.

"What happened?" Sam asked, noticing Bucky sitting on a box, rocking back and forth, muttering to himself in German.

"An explosion." Janet breathed.

Sam looked down, sadly. "Bucky, I didn't know." He put his hand on Bucky's flesh shoulder.

"I didn't want you to." Bucky said. "I just wanted you to see me as Bucky your classmate and Bucky your friend. I didn't want you to see me as Bucky the brain damaged kid who needs to be pitied."

"I would never pity you." Sam said.

"You're pitying me right now." Bucky countered. "I recognize that look. And it's pity." He sighed.

"When did it happen? What happened?" Sam asked.

"Last year-well, late 2015." Bucky said. "You haven't heard me talking about my father."

"No." Sam shook his head.

"My father's dead. He died when I lost my arm." Bucky said.

* * *

_(Flashback)_

_At a hotel in Germany, the Barnes family stood in the room. Bucky's father held open the door with his foot._

_"James, are you ready?" Winifred asked._

_"Yeah, just give me a minute!" Bucky ran into the bedroom of the hotel suite and grabbed his teddy bear with his left arm._

_"I haven't got all day!" Winifred shouted. "We're going back to the States today! You want to see Steve again, don't you?"_

_"Yeah, Mom! I'm coming!" Bucky came out of the bedroom with his backpack on and clutching his teddy bear._

_"You'd never forget Sebastan, would you?" Bucky's father pointed to Bucky's teddy bear._

_"No way." Bucky shook his head. "Sebastian is my best friend, along with Steve."_

_"Alright, let's go home so you can see your best friend and your little sister." Winifred said. "And George, stop encouraging him with that teddy bear."_

_"He's only eight years old, Winnie. Let him be a kid." George chuckled as they left the hotel room._

_As Bucky's parents checked out in the reception, Bucky played Angry Birds on his father's iPhone._

_"Come on, James." George took his son's hand and they walked to the rental car. "Winnie, you coming?"_

_"Yeah, there's just something I need to do first." Winifred replied. "I left the passports in the safe box at the front desk."_

_"Do you want us to wait?"_

_"Nah, Go on without me. I'll call a cab."_

* * *

"The last thing I remember is buckling up." Bucky put his head in his hands. "I was in a coma until just before Christmas."

"When did it happen?"

"Halloween."

"You were stuck in Germany all that time?"

"No." Bucky shook his head. "I was moved to the States sometime in mid-November."

"So how did you lose your arm?"

"The metal of the car door ripped through my arm at the shoulder when the car exploded." Bucky said quietly. "That's what I was told."

"Wow." Sam was speechless.

"When I got back to the States, Jan's mother-who is children's doctor-and Steve's mother-who is a nurse-looked after me."

"Every time my mother came home during that time, she would break down and cry." Janet said. "I begged to see Bucky. I wish I hadn't."

"Why?" Sam asked.

"Have you ever seen anyone when they've been in a coma before?" Janet asked.

Sam shook his head. "No."

"I couldn't even see Bucky. It was really upsetting." Janet said.

"Apparently, when I woke up, I spoke just German." Bucky said.

"You had just come from there." Sam said.

"As I got more aware, I spoke more English." Bucky looked up at Sam. "I found out about last Valentine's Day that my father had been killed. And about Easter, how bad I was hurt."

"How-" Sam began.

"Several broken bones, internal bleeding and a bad head injury. Bad enough to give me brain damage and put me in a coma." Bucky said.

"Oh, Bucky..." Sam felt his stomach knot up. He thought he'd had it hard with his father being in the army and worrying about an event that may never happen, but Bucky had had it way worse-he'd gone through and survived the unthinkable.

"Bucky's mother then went to my dad, Hank's dad and Tony's dad to see if anything could be some about his arm-because they'd already built arms for Misty and Nathan." Janet sat down on a box opposite Bucky. "They came back with that." She pointed at Bucky's metal arm.

Sam's eyes widened. "Wow."

"His mother-who didn't want to be coddling him-has been coddling him ever since." Janet said.

The three kids sat in silence for a while before Bucky spoke up again.

"What time is it?" He asked.

Janet looked down at her watch. "It's half six now."

"We're not going home, are we?" Bucky asked.

"What do we do then?" Sam asked.

"How about we sing a song?" Janet suggested.

"Alright, Jan. _You_ start." Sam said.

Janet began singing the opening lines of This Land is Your Land.

"No, no, no." Sam shook his head. "Woody Guthrie? Come on you can do better than that."

"Oh yeah? You try it then." Janet folded her arms.

" _It's a small world af_ -" Sam began.

"No!" Janet and Bucky shouted together.

"N-no no! Anything but that!" Bucky whined.

"Fine." Sam said.

_"_ _Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah_

_Michael row the boat ashore, hallelujah_

_Sister help to trim the sails, hallelujah_..."

"No. Too depressing." Bucky said.

"Well we _have_ just talked about depressing stuff." Sam pointed out.

"Which is _exactly_ why we need an upbeat song." Janet shrugged. "Bucky. Do you want a go?"

Bucky shrugged and began singing The Bare Necessities from The Jungle Book. He paused and Janet began to join in.

The kids spent the rest of the night singing Disney songs and over exaggeratedly performing the actions. The next morning, the kids were found by the janitor and chose not to get Loki into trouble. But they went home with permission from the principal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky's teddy bear IS named after Sebastian Stan.   
> Bare Necessities was written by Terry Gilkyson and It's A Small World was written by Robert and Richard Sherman and they belong to Disney and This Land is Your Land was written by Woody Guthrie.


	8. Cable and Deadpool

"Hey, Danny!" Wade called out in the school halls. "It's the talent show tonight, what are you doing?"

"I was thinking my karate. What are _you_ doing?" Danny asked.

"Nothing." Wade shrugged. "I don't have a special talent. Unless messing things up is a talent."

"It's not. Sorry." Danny shook his head. "I know Clint's doing something with darts and Stephen Strange is doing some magic."

"Anyone else taking part?" Wade asked.

"Yeah, uh... Bucky's tap dancing, Alison's singing, Remy's doing his card tricks, I don't know what Phil's doing but he's doing something and Betsy is doing one of those psychic mind reading things like on TV."

"Cool. I like Betsy. She's cool, like her brother. And their upper-class English accents are cool too." Wade said.

"Yeah, I guess. Where are you going?" Danny asked.

"To meet up with Nate. What about you?" Wade asked.

"Seeing Luke." Danny shrugged.

"I'll see you in class then, Danny." Wade said.

"It was nice having a _normal_ conversation with you, Wade." Danny nodded. "Those don't happen often."

Wade skipped off while Danny walked down the hallway and turned the corner.

"Danny?" Luke asked, following after his friend. "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Luke." Danny said. "But I just had the strangest conversation with Wade Wilson."

"Sweet Christmas, what did he say _this_ time?" Luke rolled his eyes.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. _That's_ why it was so strange."

"Hmm." Luke grunted thoughtfully. "Maybe they have him on some new ADHD drug or something."

"Hey, Danny. Hey, Luke." Nathan greeted as he passed them in the hallway.

"Hey, Nathan." Danny and Luke said in unison.

"You'd think Scott would be protective of _him_ , rather than Alex." Luke shook his head.

"Or Rachel." Danny added.

"Yeah, I know Rachel and Alex are younger and Hope's in kindergarten, but Nathan..." Luke sighed and shook his head. "He's been through just as much as Bucky Barnes."

"What about Bucky?" Danny asked. "Is it to do with his arm? I tried asking him, but he won't tell me."

"It was blown off in a car accident when he was on vacation ." Luke grimaced.

Danny's eyes widened. "Wow."

"Suffered a _lot_ of brain damage, too." Luke said.

"I feel _really_ bad for him now." Danny said in concern.

"He was in a coma and his arm had to be taken off at the shoulder and have skin grafts on his chest." Luke explained.

"You talking about my brother?" A boy with glasses asked, approaching the two friends.

"I'm gonna go... Get to class." Danny grabbed the straps of his backpack and walked away cautiously.

"To answer your question, no, Scott. We weren't talking about your brother." Luke said.

"Then you were talking about the Barnes kid." Scott said.

"Yep." Luke nodded.

"That poor kid." Scott shook his head, sadly. "He's been through too much. I mean, I got brain damage too, but mine just gives me double vision-easily corrected by my special glasses."

"Yeah. Poor Bucky's had to relearn everything." Luke said, fidgeting with the strap on his backpack.

"I heard he was violent after he woke from the coma." Scott said.

"Wasn't Nathan?" Luke asked.

"Yeah. For a while." Scott nodded. "Then he just insisted we called him 'Cable'."

"Brain damage." Luke shrugged.

"Nathan _wasn't_ brain damaged. Just confused from the drugs that put him in a coma." Scott explained. "And upset when he found out his left arm, shoulder and eye were missing. He said he didn't feel like Nathan Summers any more so he wanted to be called a different name."

"Cable." Luke said.

Scott nodded. "The cables keeping him alive were the first things he saw after waking up. In a way, Nate never _did_ recover from what made him sick."

"Meningitis." Luke muttered.

Scott gave a small nod. "Thank god for Howard Stark. He made-and still makes-my brother's arms, free of charge. And Bucky's. And Misty's."

"I can't imagine having any of my limbs missing." Luke said. "Or an eye."

"Nate has a cyborg eye." Scott chuckled. "As in he can see out of it."

"Why doesn't Coach Fury or his kid Nick Fury Jr get one implanted then?" Luke awondered.

"Come on, Luke. You _know_ Coach Fury is afraid of technology." Scott snorted. "If _he's_ afraid of getting one, he sure as hell won't let his _son_ get one. So they stick to eyepatches." He shrugged.

"Sound logic, Summers." Luke smiled.

"Why thank you, Cage." Scott smirked.

* * *

In the third-grade classroom, Danny walked in and found Wade already talking to Nathan.

"I know, right?!" Wade laughed. "It's weird!"

"I guess..." Nathan rolled his eye. "It's just, I don't get what Frodo Baggins would be doing in Hogwarts. But then again, you don't make sense half the time anyway, do you, Wade?"

"I guess not. At least, that's what people say about me. It's not like I haven't had that said about me before, like my grandmother said I never make sense and so do my aunt and uncle and my stepfather-although he likes me-he calls me weird. Maybe it's because I like SpongeBob SquarePants, Transformers, The Jetsons, Bea Arthur, The Simpsons, Batman and Ryan Reynolds or maybe it's because I'm a Blue Jays fan and not a Yankees fan like he is..."

"I'm gonna stop you right there." Nathan raised his hand. "Do you know what today is, Wade?" He asked.

"Can't say that I do, why?" Wade shrugged.

"It's the fifth anniversary of the day we met." Nathan said.

"Five years" Wade's jaw dropped. "Has it been _that_ long?"

Nathan nodded. "Yup. Seems like yesterday, doesn't it?"

"I only remember that I liked you because we have the same birthday." Wade said smugly.

"No way, Wade. You like me for my personality." Nathan smirked.

"Personality?!" Wade snorted. "You're duller than a sack of potatoes and about as happy as a puppy being water boarded!"

"Well I lost my arm _and_ my eye to disease..." Nathan pointed out.

"I know, Nate. I was there." Wade rolled his eyes.

"For _some_ of it, anyway." Nathan said.

* * *

_(Flashback)_

_"Mrs Summers, while you were gone, we changed some of Nathan's bandages." A nurse said to a relatively young blond haired woman._

_"Right." She said, nodding slowly. "Any change in his condition?"_

_"He's noticed he's without an arm now, he knows it's been amputated."_

_"He's upset, isn't he?"_

_"He is indeed, Mrs Summers." The nurse nodded. "He needs his mother."_

_Nathan's mother walked over to her son and picked him up off his hospital bed. "Nathan, it's me, it's Mommy." She said soothingly as she sat down in a chair._

_"Mommy?" He looked up at her and her heart broke at having to look down into her son's dead left eye. "When will I get my arm back?"_

_She couldn't bring herself to tell him that he would never. "You'll be getting a better arm soon, sweetie." She said, desperately trying to keep her voice from cracking._

_"I can still feel it there, Mommy. My arm. I can feel it there. It hurts, Mommy."_

_"I know it does, sweetie." She began running her hand gently through Nathan's hair._

_Nathan wrapped his arm around his mother's neck. "I feel like I'm hugging you with my other arm too, Mommy." Her toddler said sadly._

_Wanting to soothe her son, Nathan's mother rubbed his lower back, taking great care not to disturb the thick layers of bandaging around his chest and back. "It's going to be okay, Nathan, I promise."_

_"I told you, Mommy. My name's not Nathan. It Cable." Nathan mumbled. He sniffled sadly into his mother's shoulder._

_"Okay, okay. Cable, I promise you, everything will be alright." She said, feeling Nathan nod into her shoulder. She couldn't help but feel that she should be feeling Nathan's little shoulder pressing into her chest. Instead, his arm, his shoulder, parts of his chest-it had all been cut away in an attempt to save his life. It had obviously worked, even if her tiny toddler_ _**had** _ _been in a coma for fourteen weeks, fighting meningitis. He'd won his fight, Nathan was alive. But why was she so sad about it?_

_"Kate." She heard her name being called and looked to see her husband standing away from them. "How is he?"_

_"Upset." She said back. "Chris, you need to be looking after Gabe and Scott and Alex and Rachel. Let me_ _worry about Nathan."_

_"Cable." Nathan corrected, his voice muffled._

_"Right. Cable."_

_"But Nath-Cable_ _is my_ _son too, Kate." Chris said, walking closer to the two. "I just spent the better part of three months watching my son teetering on the brink of death. I love him as much as I love our other children."_

_"I know you do, Chris. I just don't think it's fair on the other children that they miss out on both parents now that Na-_ _**Cable** _ _is recovering." Kate said._

_"And I understand." Chris nodded. "I have the kids with the sitter. I wanted to see how my boy is recovering."_

_"Come hold him." Kate offered._

_Nathan let go of her and leaned his head on her chest._

_"He looks so peaceful." Chris ran his hand through Nathan's hair._

_Nathan whined sadly._

_"He's not dead. That's something you say when he's dead." Kate snapped, though not out of anger. She was simply exhausted, having not slept much since Nathan fell ill._

_"It's also something you say when he's sleeping or when he looks peaceful." Chris said calmly._

_"D'jou wanna take him, Chris?" Kate asked._

_Chris bent down to pick his son up._

_"Just hold him tight and keep him close to his IVs." Kate muttered as Chris held Nathan tightly._

_"Kate, you should go get something to eat or drink. Bring Nathan-"_

_"Cable." Nathan corrected grumpily._

_"_ _**Cable** _ _a Popsicle or something." Chris smiled. "Go on, we'll be fine, won't we, Buddy?"_

_Nathan nodded._

_"Alright." Kate agreed. "I'll be back soon, sweetie." She planted a kiss on Nathan's head and left the room._

* * *

_After a quick restroom break, Kate wandered into the hospital cafeteria, looking lost and desperately concerned about her still-seriously ill son. Deep in thought, Kate bumped into another woman, causing the woman to spill soda on her top._

_"Oh, I'm so_ _sorry!" Kate said, offering napkins to the woman._

_"That's alright, I should have been looking where I was going too." The woman took the napkins from Kate. "I'm just worried about my kid, you know?"_

_"I'm a mom too." Kate replied. "I have five kids. One of them-"_

_"Is here." The woman sighed, sadly. "Mine, too."_

_"How many?" Kate asked._

_"Just the one." The woman replied. "My son. He's just turned four years old."_

_"Mine too." Kate said. "The one who's here, I mean." She added._

_"Is he...?"_

_"He's just come from the ICU." Kate sighed. "He's still, seriously ill, but at least he's getting better."_

_"Intensive Care?"_

_Kate nodded._

_"I'm so sorry-that must've been so worrying. Mine's just got here." The woman threw the napkins in the bin. "Cancer."_

_"I'm so sorry." Kate said in shock. "If there's anything I can do for you and your husband, let me know."_

_"My son's father... He's not around. He wasn't a nice man. That's why we moved to New York."_

_"Where are you originally from then?" Kate asked._

_"Toronto." The woman said. "Do you mind me asking, why is your son...?"_

_"Meningitis." Kate cast her gaze downwards. "He lost his arm, shoulder and parts of his chest."_

_"I didn't know meningitis could_ _**do** _ _that!"_

_"Once septicemia takes hold, the only option is amputation." Kate said, repeating the words spoken to her by Nathan's doctor._

_"I'm very sorry to hear that." She said._

_"I'd better get back to my son and my husband." Kate said, walking out of the cafeteria._

_"Wait!" The woman called after her. Kate turned around and saw the woman scribbling on a piece of paper. "Here's my cell number." She said, handing Kate the paper. "My name's Hailey Wilson."_

_"I'm Kate Summers." She took the paper._

_"Maybe we can get our kids together, you know, since they're isolated from the world stuck in here." Hailey suggested._

_"Maybe." Kate said with a small smile. It would do Nathan good for him to talk to someone his own age, rather than the adults he's interacted with exclusively for the past four months. She was certain it couldn't be good for any toddler to talk just to adults._

* * *

_A few days later, Kate was sitting in the chair next to Nathan's hospital bed with Nathan sitting on her knee and still heavily bandaged. She was reading The Cat in the Hat_ _to Nathan while he was sucking hard on an orange Popsicle, like his life depended on it._

_"Hey, Kate."_

_Kate looked up from the book to see Hailey standing in the doorway._

_"I was going to take Wade to the art class. I was wondering if your Nathan wanted to come too."_

_Nathan pulled the Popsicle from his mouth. "Cable!" He said indignantly._

_"He just insists we call him Cable now." Kate patted her son's hair._

_"Before he got ill, my Wade insisted I call him Ryan." Hailey looked concerned. "Is that normal?"_

_"God yes!" Kate laughed. "My Gabe_ _**and** _ _my Scott have gone through the same phase. It's just something toddlers do."_

_"How old are Scott and Gabe now?" Hailey asked._

_"Scott's six and Gabe's eight." Kate said._

_"You have younger children, right?"_

_Kate nodded. "Alex is three and Rachel is fourteen months. In case you were wondering. Rachel never got a first birthday_ _**or** _ _a first Christmas, Na-Cable was sick at the time."_

_Hailey frowned slightly. "How did your older kids take it?"_

_"Gabe... He seemed-and still seems-indifferent to the whole affair." Kate explained. "Scott was deeply upset by it and just wants his little brother back. In fact, he spent all of Nath-Cable's fourth birthday by his side, watching over him. Chris and I, we had to pull him away."_

_"Your kids sound close. I'd like for Wade to have a brother or a sister someday."_

_"But then that sibling might hate him."_

_"True." Hailey shrugged. "So, **does**_ _Cable want to come to the art class?" She asked the little boy._

_Nathan looked up at her and nodded._

_"I hope you get along with my Wade. I hear you share the same birthday, February tenth."_

_Nathan nodded again more enthusiastically._

_"It would be good for him, Hailey. Let him mix with kids his own age." Kate smiled sadly. "But we can't take him away from all his medical equipment. The oxygen cannula, the feeding tube, the IVs-"_

_"Wade has IV tubes too." Hailey said. "I know you're worried about what other kids might think of your son, now he has only one arm-"_

_"And half a body." Kate muttered._

_"-But you shouldn't. Kids are more accepting than adults."_

_"I'm just worried for my Nathan." Kate said, stroking Nathan's hair._

_"Cable!" Nathan whined._

_"My Cable." Kate corrected herself._

_"I'll bring my Wade here and the boys can play together, if that's okay with you?" Hailey asked._

_"It's fine by me, I guess. I need to check it with my son's nurses..."_

_"Let me know." Hailey smiled and left the room._

_"Is that your new friend, Mommy?" Nathan asked._

_Kate nodded. "Yeah, she is, sweetie."_

_"She's nice." Nathan said, smiling approvingly._

_"Yes. Yes, she is." Kate said._

* * *

_Later that day, Kate was still sitting in the chair, only now she was eating a sandwich and watching one of her older sons, Scott, help Nathan play with Lego. Hailey appeared again in the doorway._

_"Hey, Hailey." Kate said. "My son's nurse said there's no risk of him passing the infection on now, he'll be fine to mingle with cancer patients."_

_"Oh, that's good. I've brought Wade along." Hailey smiled. She was holding the hand of a small boy with dirty blond hair that flopped over his eyes._

_"Oh, Hailey, this is my son Scott." Kate gestured to the older boy._

_"Nice to meet you, Scott." Hailey smiled._

_Scott looked up from his Lego_ _and frowned. "Yeah." He grunted before returning to play with his younger brother._

_"Wade, come on in and play some Lego." Kate smiled at the young boy before turning to her own sons. "Scott, be nice."_

_"Mom, I don't want no one to laugh at Cable." Scott said._

_"Wade won't make fun of your little brother. He's sick, too." Kate said assuringly._

_Hailey led Wade into the room and Wade gingerly walked over to Nathan's hospital bed, where Scott was playing with Nathan._

_"Uh... Hi." Wade rubbed his arm anxiously. "I'm Wade Wilson."_

_"I'm Cable." Nathan gave a small smile._

_Scott put his arm around Nathan's neck._

_"That's Scott, he's my big brother." Nathan said._

_"Hi, Scott." Wade said quietly._

_"Do you want to play Lego_ _with us?" Scott asked, still apprehensive of the little boy. "I have Batman_ _Lego."_

_"I like Batman." Wade nodded._

_"Wade's such a cute little boy, Hailey." Kate smiled. "So quiet, too."_

_"Oh, you won't say that when you get to know him!" Hailey laughed. "Sometimes I fear he'll never shut up!"_

_"He's scared, isn't he?" Kate asked._

_"He's only four. And he's facing a long battle." Hailey sighed. "I'm thirty-three and I've never been through half the things my Wade's been through. Life just isn't fair sometimes."_

_"I know what you mean." Kate said. "My Nathan's still got operations planned. Skin grafts, mostly. And his wounds have to be cleaned out-it's almost like scrubbing them-just so the skin around doesn't die..." Her voice cracked slightly._

_"It looks like the boys have really hit it off." Hailey smiled, observing the two toddlers playing, in a bid to change the subject._

_"It does." Kate agreed. "So, when you said Wade's father wasn't a good guy...?"_

_"He didn't abuse me or Wade, if that's what you're thinking." Hailey said quickly. "He's a wonderful father to Wade... He just wasn't a good fiancÃ©. Cheated on me-twice."_

_"I'm sorry to hear." Kate said._

_"Mom, I gotta go potty." Scott called out._

_"Scott-"_

_"Go take Scott to the bathroom, I can watch the boys. And there's nurses patrolling the place so Cable won't be short of medical attention, god forbid, should he need it."_

_"Well, the bathroom is_ _just around the corner..." Kate nodded. "Scott, take my hand." The older boy slid off the hospital bed and ran to take his mother's hand. "He's usually quick, we'll be back in a minute." She said as they left the room._

_"Mommy's gone." Nathan said, sadly._

_"You heard her, she's just taking your brother to the bathroom." Hailey smiled at the one armed little boy who was looking at her sadly. "She'll be back, I promise."_

_Nathan nodded and moved back to his Lego._

_"Do you like Mickey Mouse Clubhouse?" Wade asked after a brief pause._

_"Yeah." Nathan nodded. "But I got sick and had to come to hopsital and now I don't see it no more."_

_"I love Mickey Mouse." Wade said with a smile. "What happened to your arm? Where is it?"_

_Nathan looked at Wade in confusion._

_"Wade honey, Cable here... Well, his arm made him sick. To make him better, doctors had to take it off."_

_"Will it grow back?"_

_"Wade, no. It won't." Wade looked at Nathan who nodded._

_"But Mommy said I gonna get a better arm. And it will be better than Batman." Nathan said._

_"_ _**Nothing's** _ _better than Batman!" Wade cried out. He and Nathan began to laugh and Kate and Scott re-entered the room._

_"They really **have**_ _hit it off, haven't they?" Kate said._

_"They have. I haven't seen my son this happy in ages." Hailey smiled._

* * *

(Present Day)

In the classroom, Wade ran his hand through his hair while Nathan opened his backpack.

"We've both been through really hard times." Nathan said, pulling out a new Batman pen.

"Damn right... Cable." Wade smirked.

"Shut up... Dead Pool" Nathan playfully nudged Wade, who chuckled softly.

"You, Bob and Weasel are my best friends." Wade said.

"But especially _me_ , right?" Nathan flashed Wade a wry smile.

Wade smiled back. "That's right, buddy." He said. "Y'know, next month, it'll be the anniversary of when we met Bob."

Nathan nodded. "I remember that too."

* * *

_(Flashback)_

_"Wade!" Nathan ran as fast as he could to his friend. They were in a big room being used for art therapy._

_A nurse stood her distance, smiling as Wade wrapped his arms around Nathan. Wade was now bald from the chemotherapy. Nathan had bandages wrapped around his arm and a gauze pad taped to his left eye._

_"Cable, what happened to your eye?" Wade asked._

_"It gone now, like my arm." Nathan smiled as he picked up a red crayon from the table and began to draw on a piece of paper._

_"Cable, this is Bob." Wade pointed to a nervous looking brown haired boy, who wasn't attached to an IV like Wade or a feeding tube like Nathan. "He's gonna have a operation on his heart."_

_"Mom said my heart don't work properly." Bob looked up at Nathan. "So the doctors are gonna fix it."_

_"They got good doctors here. They made me better when I got sick." Nathan nodded._

_"What are you drawing?" Wade pushed his own paper away and looked at Nathan's._

_"Bunny." Nathan replied, not losing his focus._

_"I like bunnies." Wade affirmed._

_"Bunnies are cute." Bob agreed. "Penguins much_ _cuter." He looked at Nathan and the lack of a left arm under his pajama top. "What happened to your arm?"_

_"My arm made me sick but the doctors made me better by taking it away." Nathan picked up a blue crayon and started coloring his bunny. "It hard to color without my arm." He growled at the paper, which was sliding on the table._

_"I can help you, Cable!" Wade declared proudly, putting his hand on Nathan's paper._

_Nathan smiled thankfully at Wade. "What are you_ _drawing?" Nathan asked, putting down his crayon._

_"I did a bird." Wade said._

_"And I did SpongeBob SquarePants." Bob said._

_"Well Easter is next week. I made my bunny the Easter Bunny." Nathan pulled his paper off the table and showed it to Wade and Bob._

* * *

(Present day)

"And I remember how that Easter went." Wade rolled his eyes.

He and Nathan were sitting outside at lunchtime, making the most of what little sun they were getting.

"It was weird. I didn't know the Easter Bunny even came to hospitals, but since it was a children's hospital, I guess he would have-Nate, what if the Easter Bunny is actually an Easter Chick? I mean, rabbits don't lay eggs, but hens do, so I guess it wouldn't be the Easter Chick, it would be the Easter Chicken or maybe the Easter Hen..."

"Wade..." Nathan raised his eyebrow. "Shut up."

"You got it." Wade cast his gaze downwards as he took a bite out of his sandwich.

"Oh, and Wade." Nathan began. Wade looked up at him curiously. "Thanks. For being my best friend. I'm glad our moms had that random meet up at the hospital all those years ago. If they hadn't, you wouldn't be in my life. You're annoying, overbearing, hyperactive and talkative..." He sighed. "But you're also my friend."

"You're my friend too, Cable." Wade and Nathan shared a knowing smirk before going back to eating their lunches.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got this idea when I found and reread all my old Cable and Deadpool comics. Wade goes to some lengths for Nathan, who really appreciates it. When things go wrong, Nathan is genuinely apologetic to Wade. Even though he seems to only barely tolerate Wade on the surface, there seems to be a deeper friendship there. I think I did an okay job matching their childhood origins to their adult ones-Wade had childhood cancer and Nathan was sick and lost his arm and eye to the illness (they're back now, but I bet before long he'll be infected with the Techno-Organic Virus and lose them again).  
> I also know Scott is the oldest Summers brother. I don't care. I also don't care that Nathan and Rachel are his children and Hope is (technically) his grandchild, but they're all siblings here. And Scott (Cyclops), Alex (Havok) and Gabe (Vulcan), their parents ARE called Christopher and Katherine. In fact, Cable's middle name is Christopher after Scott's father, who is Corsair of the Starjammers. Although I don't really like the X-Men, I know a lot about them. Thanks, Dad.  
> And I didn't like the Deadpool revelation of Original Sin. But I wasn't meant to. Even Sabretooth gave Deadpool a dirty look after witnessing what Deadpool did. Sabretooth-the vicious and remorseless killer was even disgusted with what Deadpool did. Not much is known about Wade's family-beyond what implanted memories Deadpool had of them and eventually what he did to them.  
> Yes, Bob had a heart condition, no, Weasel is healthy, yes, that was a reference to the fact that Ryan Reynolds is playing Deadpool in the movies (X Men Origins: Wolverine never happened, guys), no, I'm not gonna do a follow up talent show chapter unless you want me to.


	9. Loki's Favorite Holiday

"Watch out for Loki." May Parker said to Erik Selvig when she bumped into him in the school hallway. "He's pulling pranks and winding other students up."

"May, please don't tell me that, that's the last thing I need to hear." Erik put his head in his hands and clutched onto his briefcase extra hard.

"No shit." Frank Castle grunted as he walked through the hallway, rightly gripping a Joker mug full of coffee. "It's his favorite holiday-April first, April Fool's Day and I am going to be terribly overworked today."

"Lord, give me strength." Erik muttered and walked away from May and Frank.

"I'm so sorry." May put her hand sympathetically on Frank's shoulder.

"I don't get paid enough to deal with the victims of Loki's pranks." Frank walked away, taking a sip of his coffee.

May shook her head and walked into her own classroom.

* * *

Carol entered the fourth-grade classroom apprehensively. Loki and Thor were already in there before her and she was the sixth kid in. She looked around and noticed Sif was washing her paint covered hoodie with baby wipes, Bruce was tugging at his sweater sleeve-it had probably been glued to his desk, Maria was covered in glitter so much that she looked like a human disco ball and that there were ants all over the classroom floor because somehow Hank's ant farm had been tipped over.

Carol sat down at her seat and felt a sharp pain in one of her bum cheeks. She screamed out accordingly and Loki roared with laughter.

Carol jumped up from her seat instinctively and patted around her bum.

Jane ran into the classroom. "Carol, what's wrong?" She asked, urgently.

"There's something sharp on my butt." Carol squealed. "I've been stabbed on my butt."

"No, it's just a tack." Jane said, examining Carol's bum. "It's pretty in there deep." She said. "You might have to go to the nurse."

"I don't think Nurse Rogers would be here yet." Carol said, gritting her teeth.

"Maybe Frank can help." Jane suggested.

"I'm _not_ going to see Frank over a tack in my ass." Carol growled.

"You're gonna have to see _someone._ " Jane argued. "Carol Susan Jane Danvers... There's a tack... In. Your. Ass."

Loki snickered.

"It's not funny, Loki!" Carol whined.

"It totally is."

"No, Loki, it isn't." Jane folded her arms and stared down the boy.

"One second, Jane." Loki put up his finger and grabbed a bottle of Coke from his backpack. He opened the lid as Peter Parker took a seat next to him and Coke sprayed all over poor Peter.

"Loki!" Peter shouted. "For God's sake! Stop!"

"What's going on here, then?" Came a low growl from the doorway.

Loki froze as Mr Namor, the one teacher he was actually afraid of, was standing in the doorway.

"Uh... Mr Namor... Sir." Loki babbled. "I wasn't doing..."

"Why is there soda all over the classroom floor?" Mr Namor asked. "Do you want ants? Because this is how you get ants."

"Sorry, Sir, I..."

"Oh... I see there are ants on the floor as well-yours, I'm guessing, Hank?"

Hank nodded sadly. " _My_ ants."

Mr Namor turned sharply to glare at Loki. "Loki, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Uh... Sorry, Hank?" Loki said, sounding more like a question than a statement.

"I'm sending you to Principal Xavier."

"What?!" Loki cried out. "Not fair!"

" _Yes_ fair." Mr Namor said adamantly. "You knocked over Hank's ant farm-he's been working hard on that all year-you sprayed Peter with cola and I just _know_ you have something to do with the glitter covering Maria, the paint covering Sif and the glue on Bruce's sweater."

"He also stuck a tack in Carol's butt." Jane said, casually gesturing to Carol who was still standing next to her.

"In?"

Jane nodded.

"Carol, let me see." Mr Namor said more softly.

Carol turned around and Mr Namor bent down to examine her.

"Carol, that's not a tack, that's a nail. I'm gonna get you to Nurse Rogers, but before we do that, we're taking Loki to see the principal."

"Does a nail mean it's worse?" Carol asked, her voice filled with dread.

"I'm sorry, but yes." Mr Namor said, standing up. "It's something we have to show the principal so he can call your parents. You might even need to go to hospital, but we'll see what Nurse Rogers says."

* * *

Loki re-entered the classroom after around an hour, when Mr Selvig was teaching about long multiplication. Carol, Peter, Maria, Bruce, Jane, Sif and Hank all glared at him.

"Loki, I hope you had a good talk with Principal Xavier." Mr Selvig said.

Loki simply grunted and sat down.

"I know what day it is today, but you can't glitter bomb your classmates. Or put glue on their clothes. Or Paint. Or douse them in soda. Or put tacks on their seats. Or destroy their ant farms. Leave the pranks for recess."

"Whatever." Loki mumbled, laying his head in his arms.

"Now here's another method of doing long multiplication." Mr Selvig said, picking up a marker. "Let's say we want to multiply 1964 by... 10 or 9. How would we go about doing this? Well first we start off..."

Loki stopped paying attention and looked out the window. He sighed and his eyes wandered around the classroom. Hank was taking notes, as only Hank Pym could. Thor was doodling on his worksheet. Clint was watching his interpreter. Phil was tapping his pencil on the desk. Almost everyone except Bruce, Carol, Stephen, Hank, Tony and Jane looked like they'd rather not be there.

Loki died a bit inside. When he checked his Armored Man and Beast Thing watch, he felt a _lot_ better knowing that recess was straight around the corner.

* * *

Steve and Bucky were sitting on the grass on the playground with Skye, all eating their lunches.

Natasha walked up to them with Hank and Phil. "Mind if we join you?" She asked.

"Not at all." Bucky gestured to the free space on the grass.

"I like that it's getting warm enough for us to do this." Hank said as he sat down.

"I can't wait for summer. It's my tenth birthday in July." Phil smiled and opened up his _Green Lantern_ lunchbox.

"Uh... Hey. I haven't met _you_ before?" Skye said curiously, pointing at Hank.

"Oh... Uh..." Hank put his sandwich down.

"Skye, this is Hank Pym-or as we call him, Ant Man." Steve smiled.

"Why?" She asked.

"He _really_ loves ants." Bucky interrupted.

"Yeah. And I really _don't_ like that nickname." Hank narrowed his eyes.

"Whatever. We know you like it really." Natasha giggled.

"I actually _really_ don't." Hank muttered.

"And Hank, this is my good friend Skye, she's Nick Fury's foster sister." Bucky smiled

"How come I never met her _before_ , then?" Hank asked.

"He has a brother, Mikel." Phil shrugged, taking a bite of his sandwich.

"That, I _also_ didn't know." Hank's eyes widened. "I just assumed he was an only kid, like me."

"I'm an only kid." Steve nodded.

"I'm an only kid too-I don't have any real brothers or sisters." Skye said.

"Same here." Phil sighed. "I live with my foster parents and they don't have kids either."

"Bruce is another only kid." Steve said.

"Uh... Darcy, Jess, Peter, Star Lord, Jane, Janet, Sam, Tony, Rhodey and Carol are all only kids too." Natasha added.

"Carol is _not_ an only kid!" Bucky almost shouted.

"Yeah and neither is Rhodey." Steve raised an eyebrow.

"Carol's older brother died, leaving only her behind. That makes her an only kid." Natasha reasoned. "Same with Rhodey and his older sister."

"They were still siblings at one point." Phil agreed.

"Yeah, but Natasha's _kind of_ right. They aren't _now_." Steve shrugged.

"I heard though-from my aunt-that Carol Danvers' mom is having another baby." Hank said.

"Everyone hears _everything_ through your aunt." Steve argued.

"Yeah, well, my aunt knows everyone." Hank frowned.

"Yes, she does." Natasha finished her sandwich and picked up an apple.

"I thought Carol's dad died though." Phil said.

"Yeah, he did." Hank nodded.

"So then, how is her mom pregnant?" Phil pointed out.

"Iâ€¦ Don't know." Hank shrugged.

"Do you hear something?" Natasha asked.

"I hear music." Skye said. "Very faint music."

"I'm gonna go check it out." Bucky said, pushing himself off the ground. He walked away, leaving the rest of the group.

"D'jou think he'll be okay?" Natasha asked.

"Course." Steve snorted. "He's Bucky Barnes."

"Steve!" Bucky shouted from across the playground. "You might want to have a look at this!"

"Anyone wanna come with me?" Steve asked as he brought himself to his feet.

"Yeah, I'll come." Hank said, packing the rest of his lunch into his backpack.

"I'll admit, whatever it is Bucky's found, I wanna have a look at." Natasha chuckled.

"Me too." Phil kept his lunchbox into his backpack. "It'll be sad if it's a dead bird though."

"I wanna check this out, too." Skye added.

"Alright, let's go. Follow the music." Steve said, leading everyone across the school yard.

"I can hear the music get louder." Hank said.

"And clearer." Natasha added. "I think it's America the Beautiful."

"No, you're right, it is." Phil frowned thoughtfully. "I wonder what's going on."

"I can _guess_ what's going on." Natasha sighed.

"That's _definitely_ -like really for sure-America the Beautiful." Skye said.

"Steve..." Bucky pointed to the dumpsters.

There, a life sized cardboard cut-out of Superman had been vandalised. It was now painted the pattern of the American flag. The face of the New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady had been pasted over Superman's as a small flag on a small flagpole flew behind the cut-out, blowing in the wind.

"I can feel the righteousness already, can't you?" Loki smirked.

"Loki, take this down." Steve said, unimpressed with Loki's prank. "Now."

"It was just a bit of fun." Loki grunted as Skye turned the music off.

"It's April Fool's Day, I get that. It's just that _nobody_ finds this funny, except _you_." Natasha folded her arms.

"Well of course." Loki said as if it were obvious. "Pranks are for the benefit of the prankster. Me."

"You are a piece of work; do you know that?" Hank shook his head as he helped Bucky and Phil put the cardboard cut-out in the dumpster while Steve held open the lid.

"Fine." Loki said, putting his iPod and portable speakers into his backpack. "I think your nickname is dumb anyway." He closed his backpack.

"And get this flag of this pole. It belongs on the flagpole inside Mrs Parker's classroom." Skye said. "Not on this knockoff pole."

"I'll have you know it's a ceremonial flagpole that I ordered from eBay with my father's credit card."

"And you bought it _without_ the flag?" Natasha asked as Loki removed the flag from it.

"Yes." He handed the flag to Skye. "There are plenty of American flags here and I am not American, so why would I order one?" Loki shrugged and picked up the flagpole before walking away. Loki began swinging the pole around as if it were a magic wand.

"Loki, I wouldn't be swinging that pole around if I were you." Natasha said.

"You should learn to lighten up, Natasha, I am causing no harm!" Loki chuckled.

"It's all well and fine, but you're gonna hit one of us in the head." Hank complained.

"I am surprised you are not more worried about me smashing your precious ant farm, Ant Man."

"I don't like that name, Loki and you know that." Hank growled.

"Yes, I am aware." Loki smirked. "I just find it amusing."

"And you smashed up my ant farm earlier today."

"I did _not_ 'smash your ant farm' as you said. I merely _liberated_ the ants within."

"Same difference." Hank folded his arms. "And _that_ wasn't funny either."

"Liberating the ants _was_ amusing." Loki insisted.

"I don't care _what_ you find funny, just stop waving that flagpole!" Steve shouted desperately.

"Fine." Loki let the flagpole drop to his side, along with his hand.

"Good." Steve sighed. "Now let's just go inside."

The kids began their journey across the playground and into the school.

"Loki _always_ plays pranks, right?" Skye asked.

"Yeah. Pretty much." Bucky shrugged.

"Sometimes he comes off as miserable, but he's really just planning his next prank." Hank said.

"It's annoying when he does it like this." Bucky added.

"Yeah, stealing flags to tick off Steve isn't very creative." Phil chuckled.

"Why do it, though?" Skye asked.

"Because Steve's nickname is... _GAH_!" Phil was cut off.

Loki had tripped over his shoelaces and the flagpole he had been carrying, pierced through Phil's chest with force.

"Phil!" Everyone screamed as Phil fell to his knees, breathing heavily. Everyone crowded Phil.

Natasha noticed Loki on the floor and ran to him. "Loki, are you okay?" She asked, pulling Loki to his feet.

"I... I am fine." Loki said in shock and ignoring his bloodied knees.

"Sweet Christmas." Luke Cage muttered to himself as he and Danny ran up to Phil to help out. "We saw everything. Are you alright?" He asked the kids.

"Amazingly," Danny began, "this _wasn't_ exactly Loki's fault."

"Well he shouldn't have been carrying that flag, but it wasn't _really_ his fault." Luke said. He grabbed Phil's shoulders. "Phil, you need to stay with me, look at me."

Phil turned to look at Luke. "Luke... Am I gonna die?" He asked.

"No." Luke said adamantly. "You won't die."

"What's going on here?" Brian Braddock and his twin sister Betsy Braddock ran up to the kids.

"Nothing, Brian." Danny said.

"Something's _obviously_ gone on, since Phil Coulson looks like rotisserie chicken." Betsy scoffed.

"If you wanna do something to help, Betsy, go get Ms. Carter, Mrs. Parker, Mr. Warlock-anyone!" Luke said urgently. "Phil's gonna die if we don't get him help... Like two minutes ago."

"You need to put pressure on the wound, Luke." Brian said.

"And for God's sake _don't_ try to pull the staff from Phil's chest." Betsy ran up to them and pulled off her scarf. "You're going to want to plug the bleeding. Brian, go see to Loki, make sure he's alright. Luke, you go calm down Natasha, Steve, James, Hank and Skye. Danny, go get help."

"Luke just said I'm gonna die, Betsy." Phil said sadly.

"No, you won't." Betsy interrupted. "Because we're gonna get you help."

"You're acting so awfully calm about this." Natasha said.

"Because if I freaked out, Phil would die." Betsy said, her voice trembling slightly.

"That must have been some force to get that pole through Phil like that." Brian whispered in Betsy's ear.

"Hmm. I wonder..." Betsy muttered, still holding her scarf to Phil's wound.

* * *

"I know that, Namor." Dum Dum Dugan said. He and a small group of other staff were sitting at a table in the cafeteria eating lunch with each other. "But it's just impractical."

"I'll tell _you_ what's impractical, Dum Dum." Nick Fury Sr said. "And that's little kids drowning or getting eaten by sharks after their plane crashes into the Atlantic Ocean because they haven't got the necessary swimming skills for their young survival."

"Who said it's the Atlantic Ocean, Fury?" A much younger man asked. "Why not the Pacific Ocean? It's warmer, so more sharks."

"See, Dum Dum!" Nick Fury Sr chuckled. "Toro's got the right idea."

"Well, I did raise him right." A thirty-something man said.

"Jim! You can't take credit for raising him!" Namor argued. "You only looked after Toro when he was a teenager."

"Hey!" Jim protested. "It's not easy looking after a super powered teenager during their times of hormone crises and high emotions- _especially_ when said teenager can turn himself into a human fireball and fly away."

"Well, _you're_ a human fireball as well." Dum Dum shrugged.

"That's partly why I took Toro on." Jim said, waving a fry in Dum Dum's face. "And got him a job here as my library assistant while he did his degree."

"Alright! We'll try the swimming lessons next school year!" Dum Dum chuckled.

"And on that note, I'm gonna go get myself a drink of water." Toro walked over to the water fountain and began filling a plastic cup with water.

"Mr Raymond!" Danny shouted, panting as he ran up to the young librarian. "Come quickly!" He grabbed the young librarian's arm and began pulling him away from the cafeteria.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Danny." The young man said, putting down his cup of water. "Wanna tell me what's going on first?"

"Phil Coulson's been stabbed!" Danny said urgently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. This is a kiddy version of what happened in the Avengers. And a suggestion that Loki might be something more.   
> Please welcome Namor the Submariner into the universe. The librarian is Thomas Raymond/Toro and he's been introduced properly in Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool, along with some of the aftermath of this. He is as he is in the comics-an Inhuman. That's kind of what Psylocke and Captain Britain are implying for Loki, but they'll find out who Loki TRULY is in good time. Also, an introduction for Psylocke and Captain Britain. Betsy and Brian Braddock.   
> I had to move Loki's story along somehow and by having him accidentally skewer Phil Coulson-who was stabbed by him in the Avengers anyway-with a flag intended to tease Steve seemed the best way to do it.  
> Fun fact: the maths question-1964 x 109 is the date the first Avengers comic was released, 10/9/1964=10th of September 1964.   
> I don't own any of the characters.


	10. Science Fair

Erik walked up the steps to work on Monday morning. Heimdall the security guard was waiting as usual.

"Heard anything about Phil Coulson?" Erik asked.

"I hear he's still in intensive care." Heimdall replied with a sigh. "Though he's awake now."

"That poor boy." Erik shook his head. "And Loki? Any idea how he's doing?"

"None. I haven't seen Odin _or_ Frigga since the accident."

"I hope he's okay, too." Erik nodded and walked through the doors of the school.

* * *

When Mr Selvig got to the class, he found half of the students weren't there and everyone who was were crowded around Thor's desk.

"Alright class!" He called out. "Everyone to your desks."

Clint signed quickly over to his teacher who nodded. Both Clint and his interpreter then left the classroom.

"Anyone else want to leave the classroom?" Mr Selvig asked. "Good. Now, you may or may not know that two weeks on Friday is the day of the Marvel Elementary Science Fair. I'm going out on a limb and saying that a a result of what happened, you actually don't know. So you will have until then to build your projects and I want you to come up with one today, ideally. So get into your groups and get started."

Tony and Bruce immediately turned to each other. "I got this idea actually, Bruce." Tony nodded. "I came up with it over the weekend." He pulled blueprints out of his backpack. "It's a Get Well Robot and I came up with the idea for Phil."

"What does it do?" Bruce asked, looking at the blueprints.

"Like a nurse. It looks after you." Tony shrugged. "Only it's a robot."

"Can you build it in time for the science fair?" Bruce asked.

"Sure." Tony nodded. "With you and Ant Man helping, I think we can get it done by next Tuesday." He grinned.

* * *

On the other side of the room, Thor was sitting with Sif, Darcy and Jane.

"I know I can build this." Jane frowned.

"But it looks difficult." Thor whined.

"It's a baking soda volcano." Darcy rolled her eyes.

"With a control panel." Jane pointed out.

"Indeed. That looks like it will prove to be very difficult." Thor pouted.

Sif sighed. "Man up, Thor." She shook her head.

* * *

At the back of the classroom Nick was with Maria.

"So if Natasha and Clint say yes, we're building a model solar system?" Maria asked.

"Yeah." Nick nodded. "That's a big if though."

"You're telling me." Maria snorted. "If they say no, what should we do?"

"A presentation on everything wrong with the latest Mighty Avengers movie." Nick suggested.

Maria pondered over it briefly. "Sure. That could work." She said. "There aren't usually people with suits of armor about and that would cost a fortune, the one Armored Man has."

"Probably all of America's GDP." Nick shook his head.

"Quadruple Nigeria's." Maria whispered loudly.

"Why are you whispering, Maria?" Nick asked.

"So nobody hears our awesome science project plans." She grinned.

* * *

That evening, Tony and Bruce went to Hank's house with their robot blueprints safely in hand. Bruce knocked on the door and Hank's mother answered it.

"Hello, Mrs Pym." Bruce nodded politely. "May we please see Hank, it's regarding schoolwork."

"You may, Bruce, Tony." She nodded in acknowledgement. "Hank's up in his room. He's still in shock after what happened with..." She trailed off.

"It shook us all up, Mrs Pym. None of us were expecting it." Tony said, sadly.

"But this might cheer him up a bit." Bruce held up Tony's plans. "It's for the science fair."

"Hank loves science." She smiled, fondly. "Like I said, he's in his room." She stepped to the side to let the boys pass.

"Thanks, Mrs Pym!" The boys said in unison as they walked inside.

"Doris!" A man called out. "Doris! Have you seen my..." The man trailed off when he saw Bruce and Tony. "Hey, kids. Hank's in his room."

"Brad, what is it you're looking for?" Hank's mother Doris asked.

"Just my other shoe." Hank's father Brad replied.

"It should be over-" Doris began.

"Come on." Tony nodded. "Let's just go find Hank." Tony and Bruce walked over to Hank's room and knocked the door.

"Hank?" Bruce asked. "Hank?" There was no answer.

Bruce opened the door and they walked into Hank's room. Hank's bedroom looked mature for his age. There were discarded inventions in one corner of the room, a current project in the center, many ant farms lining the shelves and posters of famous scientists as well as a globe and a map of the world poster, hanging up by the list of ant facts Hank had written out.

Hank was sitting on his bed, staring into one of his multiple ant farms.

"Go away." He said, sadly.

"Hank, the science fair's coming up." Tony said.

"I'll just do a presentation on my ants again." Hank shrugged.

"Okay, because Bruce and I thought you might want to get in on this." Tony walked further inside the room and dumped the robot blueprints on Hank's bed.

Hank picked them up."What _is_ this, Tony?"

"It's blueprints for a Get Well Robot." Tony explained.

"A robot nurse." Bruce nodded. "We thought it could help Phil."

"Coulson?" Hank asked, sounding more interested.

"Do we know any other Phils?" Tony quipped.

"How will we even power it?" Hank asked. "You'd need a big battery for something like this."

Tony tapped the glowing circle in the center of his chest. "Arc reactor. It'll run off an arc reactor." He said happily. "My dad's got blueprints in his workshop. I can build that there and the rest of the robot we can build here or at Bruce's."

"You've got this worked out, haven't you, Tony?"

"Of course I have." Tony declared proudly. "Can't have it running on ant power!"

* * *

A week before the science fair, the three kids stood in Hank's garage around a half built robot.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Bruce asked. "Turning Ultron on?"

"When are robots never a good idea, Bruce?" Tony asked.

"Well... Terminator, for one. The last Mighty Avengers movie." Bruce pointed out.

"We're not the Mighty Avengers now, are we?" Tony smirked as he powered the robot on. "Besides, this thing hasn't even got arms and legs yet. It's just a body."

Ultron whirred.

"This thing is gonna cure AIDS!" Tony chuckled.

"Well, maybe it's just going to win us the science fair." Hank said. "What else can a robot with no arms and legs do?" He stood in front of Ultron. "Isn't that right?"

" _Da-da_..."

"What?" The three looked around at each other and shrugged.

Ultron buzzed again. " _Da-da... Want Da-da_..."

"Tony..." Hank looked nervously at the robot.

"Depower it. We'll figure out what to do with it before the science fair." Tony said.

"I got a horrible feeling about this." Bruce shook his head and went to unplug Ultron. His jaw dropped when he saw Ultron wasn't plugged in. "Hank! Tony!"

"Did you unplug the robot, Bruce?" Hank asked.

" _No need to plug me in, Daddy_..." The robot said.

"The robot thinks your its father, Hank!" Tony chuckled.

" _I'm alive, just like you are_..." Ultron let out a shrill blast of noise, forcing the three kids to cover their ears.

"What's going on?!" Hank shouted. Ultron fired a repulsor blast at Hank, forcing him to jump for cover.

" _Hold still, Dad! Don't you know I want to play with you_?" Ultron fired another blast.

"Crap! What do we do?!" Tony shouted.

"I told you this was a bad idea!" Bruce whined.

Tony dodged another blast from Ultron to pick up a red and gold metallic gauntlet.

"Tony!" Hank screamed as Ultron his him with a blast.

"Hank!" Tony shouted.

"This is bad!" Bruce shook his head.

" _You are down, father dear_!" Ultron said, almost with glee. " _But not yet out_."

"Not... Your... Father." Hank choked out.

" _However you soon shall be when my next ultro blast hurls you into eternal oblivion_!"

"This isn't good!" Bruce grabbed Tony. "Ultron's gonna kill Hank!"

"I'm trying, Bruce! There's only so fast I can work!" Tony grunted in frustration as he fitted the gauntlet on his hand.

" _Your destruction is inevitable, father, you cannot resist me_!" Ultron shouted.

"Tony!" Bruce whined.

"Yeah, I got it!" Tony held out his hand and blasted the robot to the other side of the room. "There, that ought to have stopped it now."

Hank got on all fours, and tried to regain his breath. "Bruce, I need my Pym particles, maybe I can..." He was cut off by another blast from Ultron.

"Dammit! He was just charging up another blast!" Tony growled.

" _Changing size won't help you, father, nothing will!_ " Ultron cackled. " _On the day you created me, you sealed your own irreversible doom_!"

"At least it's just Hank that Ultron's mad at..." Tony rubbed the back of his neck.

"Irreversible doom-for God's sake, Tony! Do something!" Bruce pushed Tony closer to the robot.

"Why me?"

"Because I _said_ that this would be a horrible idea!" Bruce snarled as Ultron fired a beam at Hank.

"Oh God, I'm gonna die!" Hank wailed.

" _No, my fallen father-figure_."

Tony and Bruce exchanged glances as Hank cried out in pain.

" _For it would be far too simple, not worthy of my consummate genius_!"

"Bruce, go and get help!" Tony begged.

"Gladly!" Bruce ran out of Hank's garage, leaving Tony and Hank with the evil robot.

"Hank! Watch out!" Tony called out, blasting the robot, this time depowering it.

Hank fell to the ground, almost crying. "I never want to do that again. Never."

"It's over now." Tony said.

"We created an evil robot, Tony." Hank said. "We _can't_ bring it to the science fair."

"So use your Pym Particles-" Tony suggested.

"They're supposed to be secret!" Hank hissed loudly. "Nobody knows about them but Principal Xavier, Bruce and you and the rest of superhero club."

"Superpower training." Tony shrugged.

"What good did it do me with Ultron?" Hank sat up and cleaned his glasses. "None at all."

"Hey, we're only ten, I think we did really well-" Tony pointed out.

"But not good enough." Hank sighed, putting his glasses on.

"Hank are you okay? Tony?" Gabe Jones, Hank's neighbor asked, entering the garage with Bruce.

"Fine, Mr Jones. I just... We created an evil robot. It's over now." Hank said.

"Are any of you hurt?" Gabe asked.

"Just my pride." Tony answered.

"Then it could have been a lot worse. You're all okay. Just no more evil robots." Gabe helped Hank up. "How did you even make an evil robot anyway?"

"The science fair's coming up. We wanted to impress." Hank said,

"Next time, just stick to a baking soda volcano." Gabe chuckled. "Need me to watch over anything until your parents come home?"

"Yeah, can you just stay with us?" Hank asked. "You were in the army. You can help us if Ultron comes back online."

"If it makes you feel more secure, sure. I'll stay and let your parents know that you were attacked by your science fair project. That turned sentient and went evil." Gabe said.

"It sounds weird, doesn't it?" Tony asked.

"Well, you three kids, Reed and T'Challa are the smartest kids I know of. If anyone could build a sentient, evil robot, it'd be one of you kids." Gabe said.

"So what now?" Hank asked.

"Baking soda volcano it is." Bruce shrugged.

* * *

"Okay class!" Principal Xavier said loudly. "Settle down! Settle down!"

Everyone all came to a hush.

"Good. Now, I know this class is highly unorthodox and I am quite probably the only person who teaches it, but I believe you all must learn to control your superpowers. This is why today, there will be a new student joining our class. His name is Nathan Summers."

Nathan shuffled into the room and gave a small wave with his bionic arm.

"Are you kidding me?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"No, Iron Kid, I am not kidding you." Principal Xavier said sternly. "Now, would everyone like to go around the room and tell Nathan a bit about your powers? Iron Kid, you can go first."

"You know me, I'm Tony Stark, the genius son of Howard Stark." Tony said, begrudgingly. "I'm Iron Kid. My powers are all technological based. It's a suit of armor powered by my arc reactor."

"I'm Quake and I can uh... Cause earthquakes." Skye said with a shrug. "I was thrown out of Stan Lee Elementary because my powers awakened and I _may_ have destroyed some stuff. Okay. A whole building wing. I'm an Inhuman. Yeah. _That_ Inhuman."

"I'm Kid Marvel." Kamala said brightly. "I can stretch and change shape and form and do cool things. I'm Inhuman too. Oh and I heal quick when I get hurt."

"I'm Howard the Duck and I'm a duck." Howard folded his arms.

"He's actually an alien duck from another planet." Principal Xavier added.

"I'm Rocket, I'm a Raccoon. But I'm _not_ an alien. I'm a cybernetic lab experiment that someone thought would be a fun idea." Rocket rolled his eyes.

"I'm Squirrel Girl." Doreen smiled. "This here is Monkey Joe, my best friend." She said, pointing to a squirrel on her shoulder. "I don't know if I'm an Inhuman or a mutant, but I'm half squirrel. Like, I can talk to squirrels and climb trees and stuff."

 _Clint, would you like to tell Nathan about yourself_? Principal Xavier signed.

Clint nodded. "Uh... I'm Hawkeye. And I'm just really good with a bow and arrow. That's it. Also, I'm Deaf. I can't hear like... Anything."

"Okay. I'm Polaris. I'm a mutant and I can control electromagnetism. Basically like telekinesis, but with metal." Lorna shrugged. "My dad can do it too, so he's teaching me. Still he insisted I take superhero lessons."

"I'm Daredevil. I'm blind. But I have powers of super senses and echolocation. Not really powers. But I'm training to use it. Echolocation is basically using noise to sort of see the world around me." Matt explained. "I wasn't born blind though. I had an accident."

"I'm Ant Kid. With technology I can shrink myself down to ant size and I get super strength to fight big people." Hank said. "I can also spy on people and create evil robots bent on killing me."

"What the hell, Hank?!" Tony growled. "You said you'd forget about it!"

"And he shall under my class." Principal Xavier said.

"You already know me as your assistant librarian, but I'm Toro and I'm also assisting this class as well as learning about my fire based powers and flight from Charles-Principal Xavier here." Toro gave a nod and a smile.

"Uh okay." Nathan looked down. "I'm Nathan. I'm a mutant. And I have telekinesis." He shrugged.

"So what's up with that white hair then?" Doreen asked. She flicked Nathan's white bangs out of his eyes.

Nathan shrugged. "I think it's connected to my mutation."

"Oh. Cool." Doreen nodded.

"Okay, Nathan, would you like to choose a codename?" Principal Xavier asked.

"A codename?" Nathan asked.

"You can change it if you want." Principal Xavier said.

"Yeah, I used to be Magnetrix." Lorna said.

"Well, I used to call myself Cable when I was younger..." Nathan shrugged.

"Cable." Principal Xavier nodded in approval. "Cable, what's going to happen is that you will train alongside everyone here, they will be your team." He explained. "You will learn about your powers and yourself as you learn to control them."

"I don't understand..." Nathan frowned.

"Cable, you and your team will likely go on to change the world." Principle Xavier said.

"But there's no bad guys." Nathan said.

"That you know of." Lorna chuckled.

"Plus one of us could easily pull an Anakin Skywalker since y'know, we're like Principal Xavier's padawans." Tony shrugged.

"Iron Kid, I hope that wasn't a threat." Principal Xavier said.

"No, Sir." Tony shook his head.

"Okay, good. But just for that little outburst, you can train first." Principal Xavier said.

"Not fair." Tony grumbled, pulling on his helmet.

* * *

"So I heard you had superhero training today." Wade folded his arms. "Why didn't you invite me?"

"Because you don't _have_ superpowers yet, Wade." Nathan replied.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa- _yet_?" Wade chuckled. "What do you mean, _yet_?"

"You're either a mutant or an Inhuman." Nathan said casually.

"How do you know _that_?"

"Principal Xavier."

"He _told_ you?" Wade asked incredulously.

"No, I used my telekinetic abilities to root through his stuff." Nathan admitted.

"So you think I have powers?" Wade asked. "That I'm a mutant or an Inhuman?"

"Well it was either those two or MENSA level intelligence. He didn't know whether _I_ was a mutant or an Inhuman." Nathan said. "I know I'm a mutant though. I haven't been near Terrigen."

"What makes you think I'm not in MENSA?" Wade asked. "And I thought Terrigen was made up."

"It's real. And, Wade, you're bright, but not _that_ bright." Nathan said.

"Oh and _you_ are?" Wade folded his arms.

"No, I'm a mutant, Wade. I can make your brain explode with my telekinesis." Nathan said.

"That's so attractive." Wade muttered.

"What?" Nathan asked.

"I said it's awesome. But it's almost like someone is out there writing your life to be as tragic and as awesome as possible." Wade pointed out.

"Tragic... _And_ awesome?" Nathan raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, your life is tragically awesome, wouldn't you agree?" Wade shrugged.

"Wade, I've nearly died _twice_." Nathan said.

"And you got a neat metal arm and superpowers from them." Wade said.

"You've nearly died too, Wade." Nathan pointed out.

"Yeah, but cancer doesn't give you superpowers." Wade said. "Or does it?"

* * *

Nick Sr opened the front door and Nick Jr and Skye rushed inside.

"Hello?" Nick Sr called out and received no answer. "Nia must be still at Mikel's soccer game." He picked up the mail and looked through it, his heart sinking further with every bill he saw.

"SpongeBob!"

"Phineas and Ferb!"

"SpongeBob!"

"Phineas and Ferb!"

"SpongeBob!"

"Phineas and Ferb!"

"Shut up!" Nick Sr shouted. "Or there'll be no TV tonight for both of you! Go and do your homework!"

* * *

Hank walked home with his hands in his pockets alongside Tony.

"I don't think we should use Ultron." Hank said. "It's stupid to think we could ever build something that could possibly be helpful."

"Phil's gonna be alright, Hank. Mom said he's better. Going home in a few days." Tony said.

"Yeah, I know. My aunt said the same thing." Hank sighed.

"I think we should try again." Tony suggested.

"Wait, _no_ , Tony." Hank shook his head. "No. I'm not going to do that."

"Like a playground monitor that can be everywhere at once." Tony continued.

"Tony..." Hank growled.

"Where nobody gets stabbed in the shoulder on the playground." Tony said.

"Or gets to play with arrows on the playground." Hank pointed out.

"Yeah, well that's just Clint, isn't it?" Tony shrugged. "He's Deaf. Doesn't have anything else."

"Tony, it's just not a good idea. Ultron tried to vaporize me, the next robot we build just might." Hank said.

"Hank, stop ruining my vision." Tony complained.

Hank rolled his eyes. "If your vision is centered around robot security details then you're just asking for an Orwellian future."

"Yeah." Tony nodded. " _That's_ my vision."

"I'm _not_ building a second robot and that's that." Hank growled as he walked to his garage.

"Come on, Hank. Stop being-" Tony began.

"Tony, you're immature. I'm 'unstable'-" Hank cut across.

"Don't go on what Frank Castle tells you-" Tony snapped.

"Well, he's right, Tony, he's..." Hank trailed off. "Where's Ultron?"

"Ultron?" Tony questioned.

"Our evil, sentient robot." Hank reminded him. "He's not here."

"Yeah, well, your mom and dad probably threw him out." Tony shrugged. "He _was_ broken after all."

"I guess if Ultron's gone, then there's no harm in trying to build another robot. But Tony, this time we keep it simple." Hank said.

"What about that synthezoid you keep trying to make?" Tony asked.

Hank sighed. "Fine. But I'm not building any electronics for it. Not after the last time."

* * *

On the day of the science fair, everyone was setting up their projects from baking soda volcanoes and papier-mÃ¢chÃ© solar systems to presentations about the faults in the latest Mighty Avengers movie and even a tribute to past scientific accomplishments.

Hank was standing nervously at his booth when Tony approached him casually.

"Where's the new robot?" Hank asked.

"I thought you had it?" Tony frowned.

"Maybe Bruce has it." Hank said, trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong.

When Bruce walked up to the booth empty handed, Hank began to panic.

"Where's the robot?" Bruce asked.

"I don't know!" Hank pulled at his hair. "What if he's gone evil?!"

"Hank, I doubt it." Tony said.

"It was a terrible idea!" Hank wailed. "We should never have built the bastard thing in the first place!"

"Okay everyone!" Principal Xavier announced. "The judging of the science fair will kick off shortly. Please ensure that your project is ready to present! The judges shall be myself, Mr Selvig, Dr Von Doom and Howard Stark, who has kindly taken time away from his inventing schedule for this event."

"Shit." Tony muttered under his breath.

"That is all, thank you." Principal Xavier finished.

"We're done for. We're _really_ done for." Hank shook his head.

"I-it can't be as bad as it looks." Bruce said. "Hank, go check your garage again-Tony and I'll try to stall."

Hank nodded and rushed out of the gymnasium where the science fair was being held.

Mr Selvig walked up to Tony and Bruce. "What's wrong with Hank, there?" He asked.

"He-" Bruce began.

"He really had to pee." Tony said.

Bruce nodded.

Mr Selvig raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway. "Alright. Make sure your project is ready to present within the next five minutes." He walked away.

Phil walked over to the two with his left arm in a sling. "Hey." He greeted. "What was Mr Selvig doing here?"

"Phil?" Tony raised an eyebrow. "You're okay?"

"Well, kinda. But I wouldn't miss the science fair. Tony, you look like you've seen a ghost. What's the matter?"

"I think we've made a terrible mistake." Bruce muttered.

"A mistake?" Phil frowned. "Guys, what's happened?"

"We built a robot to help you-" Tony began.

"But it turned evil!" Bruce whined.

"Evil?" Phil asked.

"And we built another one." Tony said.

"Which has gone missing." Bruce sighed. "Hank's gone to look for it."

"But we're all secretly thinking it's turned evil too." Tony blurted out.

"How evil are you talking about?" Phil asked. "Like Terminator evil or-"

"Terminator evil." Bruce and Tony said without hesitation.

"Yikes." Phil winced. "That's... Not good."

"We know." Tony said.

"That's why Hank's looking for it." Bruce added.

"Hey, guys!" Janet said happily, skipping over to Tony, Bruce and Phil. "Hey, Phil, glad you're better."

"Janet." Tony said with a nod.

"So what are you guys doing?" Janet asked.

"Nothing that concerns you, Janet." Bruce said.

"Come oooon guys. It's me, your classmate, Janet Van Dyne!"

"Saying your full name isn't making us want to tell you our project any more than before." Tony said.

"Poo." Janet huffed.

"Attention everyone-the judging of the Science Fair will now begin! Once again, the judges shall be myself, Mr Selvig, Dr Von Doom and inventor Howard Stark." Principal Xavier announced.

"That's it. We're screwed." Tony said with a sigh.

"There is nothing you can do to stay your fate." A voice said.

Both Tony and Bruce stiffened.

"I'm not looking." Bruce said.

"Fine, I'll look." Tony turned around slowly and saw a small robot coming up from the floor. It was about their size, but with a green body and a red face. It was wearing yellow gloves, boots, shorts and cape. It also had a yellow diamond on his chest and a yellow jewel or something lodged in its head.

"Oh my god." Janet covered her mouth. "It's like some sort of inhuman vision."

"We're double screwed." Tony paled.

"What the hell _is_ that?" Phil asked, the panic evident in his voice. "I've been attacked once, I don't want to be attacked again!"

Hank came rushing through the gym door and to the small group. "Guys, I couldn't find the robot-holy shit it's our robot." He let out a breath of relief. "Who found it?"

" _It_ found _us_ , Hank." Bruce said ominously. "It found us."

"On the contrary, Hank Pym." The robot began.

"Holy shit, it knows your name." Tony said lowly.

"Tony Stark." The robot said.

"And yours." Hank said, just as lowly.

"And Bruce Banner. I was sent to destroy you. And destroy you I shall!" The robot got into stance and a destructive beam flew from its eyes, causing the kids to scatter.

* * *

On the other side of the gym, Clint, Natasha, Maria and Nick were waiting at their booth. The robot fighting caught Clint's eye.

"Guys, look over there." He pointed to the robot and its laser eyes.

"What the..." Nick frowned and squinted, wondering if what he was seeing was real. "It's not just me, right? That's totally an evil robot."

"Definitely." Maria agreed.

"Great. We live in a world with evil terrorist _robots_ now. Can't wait until ISIS get their hands on that." Natasha said sarcastically.

Logan walked over to them. "That's... Not just me, is it?"

Everyone but Clint shook their heads.

Nick translated for Clint, who then shook his head.

"Oh no, that's an evil robot, Logan. Definitely an evil robot." Clint said.

"Should we do something about it?" Logan asked.

"Like what? We're all kids. You're smaller than the rest of us as well." Natasha said.

"Hey, isn't that Scott Summers' brother?" Nick asked, pointing at Nathan Summers, now joining the fray with the robot.

"Holy shit." Clint muttered.

Nathan lifted the robot with his telekinetic abilities and threw it across the gym.

"Scatter!" Clint shouted and all the kids dived out of the way.

The robot ended up crashing into their project.

Clint gently kicked the robot with his shoe. "I think it's dead." He said.

"Robots can't die." Natasha muttered, knowing that Clint couldn't hear it anyway.

Hank, Tony, Bruce, Janet, Phil and Nathan all came running over.

"Hey, I see you met our science project." Hank smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.

"What... _Is_ that?" Nick asked.

"That is a uh..." Hank shrugged. "A robot."

"Is everyone okay?" Everyone turned to the voice and sighed in relief. It was only T'Challa, an older student.

"Everyone's fine, T'Challa." Maria answered.

"Then does someone mind explaining what this thing is?" T'Challa asked, pointing to the robot.

* * *

T'Challa said something and pointed to the robot. Clint shrugged and turned to Natasha.

 _He asked if one of us could tell him about the robot_. She signed.

Clint nodded. "It's a synthezoid."

T'Challa opened his mouth and said something with a puzzled facial expression.

From context, Clint could tell that he was confused. Probably asked what he meant by synthezoid.

"I remember Hank was working on synthezoids back in September. He wanted something scary for Halloween." Clint explained. Talking without being able to hear it was certainly a weird sensation. Though Clint was used to it by now, it was still a little odd to him. "So he started making synthetic skin and then wondered if he could make other synthetic organs. I guess he succeeded with this." He pointed to the robot.

T'Challa turned to Hank. More talking. More pointing at the robot.

Hank replied and pressed his hands together in a pleading gesture.

T'Challa shook his head and pointed at the robot. Then at Hank. And back at the robot.

Hank hung his head and shook it.

Clint could tell that T'Challa was shouting, he could make out some words, but they still sounded like he was underwater.

* * *

"And get rid of that-that synthezoid thing!" T'Challa said.

"Will do." Hank nodded.

T'Challa walked away, shaking his head, while Principal Xavier and Dr Von Doom approached them.

Dr Von Doom always intimidated the kids with his weird Latverian dress sense. He'd always wear cloaks and never in the Dumbledore sense. More like he was planning to overthrow the president of Latveria to become the dictator. The way he stood with his arms folded, looking at everyone else in contempt only backed up the kids' theory. And that scar on his face didn't help his case, then again, neither did his last name.

"So, kids." Principal Xavier said as Dr Von Doom stood ominously behind him. "What happened here? Do I need to send anyone to Mr Jameson?"

"Sir, the fighting... This is an evil robot with laser eyes. And-" Nathan pointed at the robot.

"Nathan Summers, I did not expect you of all people to tell lies." Dr Von Doom said. That creepy Latverian accent paired with a murderous look in his eye... Why on god's green earth was he teaching music to children?!

"I'm not lying, Dr Von Doom. It-that-it's an evil robot." Nathan said.

"Who built this?" Principal Xavier asked.

"Hank did!" Everyone except Nathan pretty much shouted.

"Hank... Did you _really_ build this?" Principal Xavier asked quietly.

Hank nodded sheepishly. "Yes, well... Bruce and Tony helped. I was trying to make something _helpful_ , not _evil_."

"This is amazing." Principal Xavier said under his breath. "Victor, get Howard and Erik over here. They have to see this."

Dr Von Doom gave a nod and walked over to the two other scientists.

The robot sat up rubbing its head and the kids shouted in surprise. Some of them backed away.

"I recall who created me." It said calmly.

"Okay. _Not_ creepy at all." Nick said.

"And it was not _you_ , Hank Pym." The robot said.

"Yes it was." Hank said. "I created you. I built you."

"But you did not give me life." The robot said. "The one who gave me life was a metal being called Ultron."

Hank paled. "Ultron? You sure?"

"Most definitely." The robot nodded.

"Hang on, what's an _Ultron_?" Logan asked.

"The first robot I built for the science fair." Hank explained. "He gained sentience and turned evil."

"He tried to vaporize Hank, so..." Tony shrugged.

"I thought Mom and Dad threw him out." Hank said. "But he's out there somewhere. Being evil. Sending my own creations after me."

"Perhaps I am what Janet Van Dyne called me-a vision."

"Oh man, it knows my name." Janet said, backing away uneasily.

"I know all of your names." The robot said.

"Yep. That's creepy as hell." Maria nodded.

"Actually, Maria Hill, it is not as 'creepy' as one might think."

"Hank, get rid of the creepy evil robot that knows my name." Maria said.

"I am not evil." The robot said as it stood up. "I am not good. I do not know what I am."

Dr Von Doom returned with Howard Stark and Mr Selvig.

"Is this it, Victor? The robot?" Mr Selvig asked.

"Yes, I am the robot. It is a pleasure to meet you, Erik Selvig." The robot put its gloved hand out politely.

"Oh damn, it knows my name." Mr Selvig hesitantly shook the robot's much smaller hand.

"It knows many things." Principal Xavier said. "Apparently I made the right decision when I accepted Hank Pym, Bruce Banner and your son into my school, Howard, because your son had a hand in building this."

"He did?" Howard asked, examining the robot.

"That's amazing. Three ten year olds building such a sophisticated robot." Mr Selvig said, in awe. "I don't think I'll ever see anything this amazing again in my lifetime."

"Then I think it's unanimous." Dr Von Doom said with that creepy voice of his. "Hank Pym, Bruce Banner and Tony Stark get first place in the science fair."

"Wow, that was fairly anticlimactic." Hank said.

"Do you not want your prize?" Howard asked.

"Oh no, I do." Hank said with a nod. "I do."

"What do we call your robot then?" Mr Selvig asked.

Hank opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the robot.

"You may call me... Vision."

* * *

The following Monday, Erik entered his class. Everyone was there, even Phil Coulson. And he had a new student.

"Good morning class, I have a few announcements today. First, I'd like to introduce you to your new classmate, Vision." He gestured to the robot sitting in the corner, who turned and waved at everyone. "Yes, it _is_ an android, but I don't want any excuses for treating it like it isn't human. Treat it as you do Howard the Duck and Rocket Raccoon." He said. "Second, the student body president elections are coming up. Who would like to run?

Almost everyone looked away while only two hands shot in the air.

"Anybody else?" Erik asked. "No? Okay. Our two nominees are... Steve Rogers and Tony Stark."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set after chapter 4 of Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool.  
> Gabe Jones is one of the Howling Commandos. He's the neighbor of Hank Pym and the friend of Nick Fury Sr.  
> Ultron's dialogue was pretty much taken from Avengers #58, albeit with a completely different set of circumstances and Bruce and Tony are there and share dialogue. It's somewhat a mix of the 616 and the MCU. But with kids. Like Skottie Young then. Just imagine it all Skottie Young drawn.  
> I introduced Vision into this because I wanted to. I love Vision and he's going to be there from now on. I also introduced music teacher Doctor Doom, because why not? In the Jack Kirby days, Doctor Doom simply had a scar on his face but he was self conscious and covered it up with a mask. This is that Doctor Doom, minus the mask.  
> That's not all though-I also introduced Ms Marvel, Howard the Duck, Squirrel Girl and Polaris! Aww yeah! I also loved the idea of a long standing superhero club where Xavier taught them to control their powers and just like in the first chapter how Sam gets introduced to this craziness, I thought hey, I'll introduce Nathan to this craziness. By the way, there'll be some more Sam soon.  
> And that's right. I'm doing Civil War. This will tie into the companion fic-Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool, so watch out for that too.  
> Stay tuned!  
> Excelsior!  
> Wait, that was too much wasn't it? Ah well.


	11. Civil War Part I

Steve sat at a table that lunchtime, drawing out designs for his student campaign.

Sam brought his tray down on the table and took a seat next to Steve. Bucky, Clint, Phil, Logan and Stephen followed.

"Decided on your platform?" Sam asked.

Steve nodded. "Yeah. Remember the whole incident with Phil getting stabbed through the shoulder?"

"How could I forget?" Phil asked sarcastically.

"Remember when Betsy said Loki could be more than human?" Bucky asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I remember that rumour."

"Well, it's true." Steve said. "Students here have powers."

"Powers?" Logan asked gruffly, raising an eyebrow. He put his fork back into his food. "What do you mean they have powers?"

"I mean they can do stuff that nobody else can. Like moving stuff with their mind and shrinking size and walking through walls and stuff." Steve said.

"You're talking about _actual_ superpowers?" Stephen asked. "Like Superman? And the Justice League?"

"Yeah." Steve nodded.

"I'm friends with a girl." Bucky said. "She goes here and she has powers. She wouldn't want me to say who she is but... Yeah. She has powers."

"Exactly. If you have superpowers, chances are you don't want to be outed. Tony wants these kids to have to say to the entire school who they are and what their powers are and I don't think that's cool. So I'm running on the basis that they get to stay anonymous."

Clint looked to Phil who gave a rough translation in ASL.

Clint nodded and signed back.

"Steve, Clint would like to talk to you in private in a little bit." Phil said quietly.

Clint nodded.

"Okay." Steve nodded back. "Now what does everyone think of the idea?"

"It's... Interesting." Logan shrugged.

"I also want more money for iPads for learning. And I want the bathrooms cleaned more regularly. That Kraven is _really_ slacking off lately." Steve shook his head.

"You know, I haven't seen him in a while." Bucky put a forkful of mac and cheese in his mouth.

"I heard from Hank who heard from his aunt that he was off on a hunting trip." Stephen said.

"Hmm. I believe that." Steve nodded. "Hank's aunt is usually right about these things."

"What things?" Sam asked.

"Everything!" Steve chuckled.

"Oh, she's a busybody alright." Phil chuckled.

"But if Kraven's gone hunting, why can't the other janitors handle it?" Sam asked.

"Have you _met_ our other janitors?" Bucky asked.

"Anton Vanko is constantly thinking he's above janitorial duties." Stephen said.

"And I'm pretty sure that Johann Schmidt is some kind of Neo-Nazi." Logan said. "Or would that be _Alt-Right_ now?"

"Come on, Logan, just because he's German-" Steve said

"No, it's because I've heard him spouting things about the Third Reich." Logan said.

"Yeah, Steve, I've heard it too." Bucky agreed.

"Maybe I'll run on the platform to fire Johann Schmidt too, then." Steve scribbled something down on the paper.

* * *

On the other side of the cafeteria, Tony was sitting with Rhodey, Bruce, Hank and an interested Carol. He was casually drawing on an iPad using a rubber stylus.

"What _are_ you doing, Tony?" Carol asked.

"Trying to make a totally awesome campaign poster." Tony snorted.

"You're sounding like Amadeus Cho." Bruce said.

"Who? That kindergartener?" Tony chuckled. "Pfft. No way."

"Yeah way. Kid's a genius." Rhodey shrugged.

"A lot of us are, here. All of us at this table-minus Carol." Tony said.

"Hey!" Carol protested.

"T'Challa, Reed, Rick, Stephen... That other kindergartener. The little girl." Tony carried on.

"You mean Moon Girl, right?" Hank asked.

"Yeah, but what's her _real_ name?" Tony asked.

"Lunella Lafayette." Carol supplied.

"Yeah. That's it." Tony put his stylus down. "Well, I'm done." He held up his design to the rest of the table, who growled around to look. "What do you think?"

"Uh..." Rhodey rubbed the back of his neck. "Well..."

"It's a gun shooting guns on the backdrop of the American flag." Carol said bluntly.

"Can't forget the robot ants with laser vision." Bruce pointed out.

"Ants don't have laser vision, Tony, they-" Hank began.

"Tomayto tomahto." Tony shrugged.

"It's definitely... _Busy_ , Tony." Rhodey said. "Try toning it down a bit?"

"Okay, what?" Tony put the tablet down.

"Maybe the killer giant ants with laser vision." Hank suggested irritatedly.

"And the guns shooting guns." Bruce added.

"You just don't like me to have _any_ fun, do you?" Tony huffed.

"Maybe you should, I dunno, talk about what you want to do for the school?" Rhodey suggested.

"I've already decided-it's in the crude poster design." Tony held up the tablet again. "See?"

"All I'm seeing is guns and giant laser-eyed ants." Hank said.

"No, see, it's in the cafeteria. The kids running away in fear have been eating salad!" Tony smiled.

"I-I don't... Get it?" Bruce shrugged and shook his head.

Tony huffed. "Healthy meals?"

"Maybe you should make that a bit more clear." Carol said.

"I did. How clearer can it be than _salad_?" Tony grunted. "I also think that after the whole... Ultron-Vision thing and Loki that maybe it's a good idea for kids who have powers to maybe... Tell the school they have them. That way, no students almost get killed again."

"You know what, Tony, that's actually a good idea." Bruce nodded. "I'm behind that."

"So am I. That's surprisingly... Mature of you, Tony." Carol said.

"Well, Phil's my friend. I just want to help. I mean, I couldn't help him the first time, so maybe I can help him by restraining myself and preventing others from suffering the same fate. Maybe worse." Tony shrugged.

"Well, I'm behind you too, Tony." Hank said.

"Really?" Tony asked. "Thanks, Hank. Thanks, Bruce. Thanks, Carol." He turned to Rhodey.

"Tony, man, you're my best friend. I'm behind almost everything you do. I'm behind this too. I support you for student body president." Rhodey said with a nod.

"Guys, you're _not_ going to regret this." Tony said excitedly. "I swear, only good can come from this. We gotta... We gotta get out there! Hand out 'Vote for Tony' fliers! Campaign!" He gasped sharply and looked at his friends. "You guys are gonna be my campaign team! Go on! Spread the word that people should be voting for Tony!" He shouted so loudly that his voice reverberated from the walls of the relatively large cafeteria.

"Tony!" Rhodey hissed.

Tony looked around and realised that the kids were staring at him. He also found himself on top of a table, his left foot in a tray full of mashed potatoes. "Oop. Sorry." He climbed down sheepishly and took a seat once again.

* * *

During afternoon recess, both Tony and Steve were busy convincing other students to vote for them.

"Vote Steve!" Steve said to everyone that passed by. "Vote Steve! Vote Steve! Vote-"

"That's _not_ how you get votes, Rogers."

Steve turned to the voice. Jessica Jones. She was standing in front of him with her left hand on her hip.

"I know, Jessica, I just... I wanted to get a head start on Tony. He's doing the same right now, I'm sure." Steve said.

"What do you stand for?" Jessica asked.

"Uh... iPads for learning, superpower anonymity and better janitors-preferably ones that aren't lazy or Neo-Nazis or go away for weeks on long hunting trips."

"You're referring to Kraven, right?" Jessica asked. "Yeah, my adoptive mom heard about it from Hank's aunt."

" _Everyone_ knows Hank's aunt." Steve nodded.

"Sounds like a decent manifesto though." Jessica said. "But you need a campaign manager. That's where _I_ can help."

"Really? How?" Steve asked sceptically.

"Well, by making 'Vote for Steve' pins." Jessica said. "I mean, my adoptive dad works with a 3D printer."

"That sounds cool. Hey, I made a neat design too." Steve took a small piece of paper from his pocket to show Jessica. It was circular shaped with a red circle, then a white circle, then another red circle, then a blue circle with a white star in the center. "I based it on the American flag."

"Of course you did, Captain America." Jessica said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and took the piece of paper. "Look, I'll do what I can. No guarantees. But I'll spread the word."

"Thanks Jessica." Steve smiled.

"Regretting my decision already." Jessica muttered, putting her hands in her pockets and walking away.

* * *

Wade skipped over to Tony.

"Wade." Tony greeted.

"I heard that you and Steve are the only dudes running for student body president." Wade said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "That true?"

"Yep."

"You need a running mate?" Wade asked.

"No. And if I did, it wouldn't be you." Tony said. "For starters, you're in the third grade, I'm in the fourth."

"And?" Wade cocked his head.

"Yes, Wade, I could go on." Tony said boredly.

"Penis." Wade said out of nowhere.

" _Excuse_ me?" Tony raised his eyebrows.

"I forgot." Wade chuckled. "Hey, hey, did you hear the one about the dick and the other dick? Answer, it's you and Steve!"

"That made _no_ sense, Wade." Tony rolled his eyes.

"What about Chewbacca?" Wade asked.

"Wade, shut up." Tony said.

"Hey, what shit do you pledge to change?"

"I want healthier food and I want everyone with powers to come out and say they have them. It'll make everyone safer in the long run." Tony said with a nod.

"I know someone with powers!" Wade shouted.

"I know you do, Wade." Tony said through gritted teeth.

"His powers are big. And if he didn't have them, people would be safer?" Wade asked curiously.

"That's the idea, Wade, now if you pledge to vote for me and get out of my sight _right_ _now_ , I'll make you a hall monitor if I win."

"That's reason enough to vote for you!" Wade smiled and skipped away again.

* * *

The next day, Steve had printed out several campaign fliers. They were similar to the old Uncle Sam World War II posters, but they said 'Vote Steve' at the bottom along with his campaign manifesto.

He was pinning them up on the walls along the hall when Nathan Summers approached him.

"Nathan Summers, I'm busy campaigning. Tell me what you want." Steve said, as he put a flier up on the wall.

"Wade's recruiting people to vote for Tony." Nathan said.

Steve turned to look at Nathan. "Wait, really?"

Nathan nodded. "Look, I know I said I'd vote for you but maybe we should do what Team Tony are doing."

"And that would be what, Nathan?" Steve asked. "Blackmailing people into voting for me? Vote Steve Rogers, get a free cookie?"

"No, Steve, I never said that." Nathan said.

"Then why are you telling me this?" Steve grunted.

"I just wanted you to know what we're up against."

"Well, I have more people pledging to vote for me every day. I'm not too worried."

"Sam Wilson, Matt Murdock, Scott Lang, Jessica Jones-" Nathan listed.

"They're good people. And they support my cause." Steve said.

"I support your cause too, Steve, I just think-"

"Listen, I've thought about what you have to say, Nathan, and, respectfully, I disagree. You can't change the big picture in a daily struggle." Steve said.

"No, but throughout the course of history, the actions and decisions of individuals-or their non actions-have _affected_ the big picture."

"Nathan, we're both ten years old. Don't get philosophical with me."

"In all fairness, Steve, _you_ started the philosophical debate." Nathan raised an eyebrow. "I believe in you. I believe in your platform."

"So just vote for me." Steve said. "No need to do anything else."

"You need to adapt or you're going to lose the election." Nathan said. "Or the electorate."

"You believe in my cause." Steve said.

"I know some other super powered kids who do too." Nathan said, almost in a low whisper. "Others are on Tony's side-primarily Doreen Green and Hank Pym. You need to swing them."

"I'm running on a platform of super power anonymity." Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know what else I can do."

"I'm trying to keep it low profile about my powers since the science fair fiasco..." Nate whispered. "But I'll do what I can when I can."

Steve nodded. "Voting for me would be better, but yeah. Thanks, Nathan."

Nathan gave a nod and walked away, leaving Steve to put up more fliers.

Steve sighed and went to the campaign table that Bucky and Sam were managing, setting down the fliers. "So Tony's bribing people to vote for him now."

"Tony's doing _what_?" Sam asked in complete disbelief.

"According to Nathan Summers, Tony is bribing people to vote for him." Steve shook his head. "Through Wade Wilson."

"People won't _actually_ take him seriously, will they?" Bucky asked. "It's Wade Wilson. He's so immature and severely ADHD-he has to have a teaching assistant help him all the time."

"Yeah, but Clint has one too." Steve pointed out.

"Clint's Deaf." Bucky said.

"Look, I'm gonna go find Wade, talk to him." Steve shrugged. "Convince him to drop the whole bribing people to vote for Tony thing."

"We'll come with you, right, Bucky?" Sam stood up and grabbed his backpack.

"No, Bucky stays here. But you can come, Sam." Steve said.

"Why do _I_ stay here?" Bucky asked.

"Because you need to hand out fliers and make sure people vote for me in an honest way." Steve walked away with Sam at his side.

* * *

Outside, Tony was standing by his campaign table, handing out fliers with Rhodey and Carol.

Jessica Jones approached them. "What's this?" She asked, snatching a flier from Carol.

"Tony's electoral platform." Carol replied. "The issues he's running for."

"You want kids with powers to just out themselves?" Jessica asked. "That's not right!" She shouted, catching the attention of Jessica Drew.

"Jessica, what's going on?" Jess Drew asked.

"Tony wants whoever here has powers to out themselves." Jessica Jones thrust the flier into Jess Drew's hands.

Jess Drew read the flier, her eyes widening in horror. "Carol! I though you were our friend!" She balled up the paper and threw it at Carol.

"Jess! We are friends, I-"

"I thought you cared about me!" Jess Drew cut across her.

"Carol does care about you, Jess-" Rhodey began.

"I was talking to _Carol_ , not _you_ , Rhodes." Jess Drew poked Rhodey in the chest. "Stay _out_ of things that don't concern you!"

"Come on, Jess." Jessica Jones said. "I have to get to Steve anyway."

"Whoa, why?" Tony asked, stepping out in front of the Jessicas.

"Because." Jessica Jones replied. "Now get out of my way, pipsqueak."

"Pipsqueak?" Tony shook his head in disbelief.

"You can stay there if you want me to get Luke on you." Jessica Jones shrugged. "Your choice."

Tony stood where he was for a moment before relenting and letting the Jessicas past.

"Thank you." Jessica Jones said sarcastically as she walked away.

"I thought you knew better." Jess Drew quietly said to Carol before following Jessica Jones.

"Well _that_ could have gone better." Rhodey said.

"Definitely. But it looks like we've got another chance. Here comes Nathan Summers." Tony said.

"Nathan Summers?" Carol raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah. I told Wade he could have a hall monitor job if he votes for me. Probably blabbed on about my position to Nathan. You know how those two are joined at the hip. One will do whatever the other says." Tony shrugged, handing a flier to Nathan as he walked past.

Nathan took the flier and tore it in half as he carried on walking.

"Looks like you were wrong this time, Tony." Rhodey chuckled.

"Well, I guess Nathan managed to convince Wade to vote for Steve." Tony frowned.

"Here comes Natasha Romanoff." Carol said, offering a flier to the passing Russian immigrant.

Natasha stopped to look at the flier.

"Vote Tony?" Tony said, but it sounded more like a question.

"What do you mean you want superpowered kids to say that have powers?" Natasha asked. "Shouldn't that be at _their_ discretion?"

"Yeah, but I'm talking about like... You know when Phil was stabbed?" Tony asked.

"Yeah." Natasha nodded.

"And when I recklessly built that evil robot with Hank and Bruce?"

"Where are you going with this?" Natasha asked.

"I just want to stop incidents like that, that might kill kids. Phil could have died, but he luckily didn't. I don't want anything worse than that to happen." Tony said.

Natasha pondered over what Tony had said before nodding. "Yes. I suppose you're right."

"You mean you'll vote Tony?" Rhodey asked.

"Yes. I'll vote Tony." Natasha confirmed.

* * *

Back inside, Steve and Sam were wandering around, looking for Wade. They came across the two Jessicas who had bumped into Scott Summers.

"Jessicas. Scott." Steve greeted. "You come across Wade Wilson at all?"

"No, but I bet my brother knows where he is." Scott replied.

"By the way, Steve, my dad agreed to make those buttons for you." Jessica Jones said. "Should have them tomorrow.

"Cool." Steve nodded. "Scott, where do we find Nathan?"

"Right here." Nathan slipped out of a classroom.

"Nathan! Don't do that!" Scott slapped his younger brother across the back of the head and Nathan began laughing.

"I just had to put something on Mrs Parker's desk. Mrs Storm told me to do it. Some kind of package." Nathan shrugged.

"So where do we find Wade?" Sam asked.

"That's easy. Just listen to the sound of his annoying Demi Moore voice." Nathan snorted.

"Okay." Steve nodded, stepping forward. "Follow me, then."

The small group began to walk and didn't get very far before they heard what sounded like Wade's voice.

"What do I have to say to convince you?"

"He's near the cafeteria." Nathan said casually. "Just around the corner."

The group rounded the corner and Steve looked on in disgust. Sam moved behind him while Scott looked on in confusion. Jessica Jones and Jessica Drew, meanwhile, folded their arms and stood angrily behind Steve.

Wade, however was pleading with Matt Murdock to vote for Tony.

"Well, well. Looks like you were right, Nathan. He's recruiting." Steve folded his arms. "What should we do with him now?"

"Nate?" Wade asked.

"Seems we're on different sides here, Wade." Nathan said, walking forward.

"Yeah. It seems we are." Wade said bitterly, raising his fist to Nathan.

Nathan stepped forward and punched Wade in the face with his metal arm.

"You... Punched me." Wade said, holding his nose.

"Oops. My prosthetic slipped." Nathan said sarcastically.

Wade growled and kicked Nathan in the stomach and again in the face when Nathan was doubled over in pain. "Oops. Muscle spasm."

"Steve, what should we-" Sam began.

"Leave it, Sam. I'm sure it's been a long time coming." Steve watched the two with intrigue.

Wade snarled and pushed Nathan backwards, into the wall.

Nathan breathed heavily and wiped his bleeding mouth. Wade had split his lip with that last kick. "You just don't know when to quit, do you?" He brought himself to his feet. "Bring it on."

"You dare put the Backstreet Boys in my head!" Wade screamed, lunging at Nathan once again.

Nathan kicked Wade in the stomach, knocking him back.

Wade then went to punch Nathan in the face, but Nathan held him still with his telekinesis. Steve looked on in shock. So that's why Nathan was as invested in his campaign as he was. He had powers himself.

"Been a while... Since we last did this... Wade..." Nathan panted. "You were saying... Something about the uh... Backstreet Boys?"

"You're evil, Nathan Summers!" Wade spat out.

"Shut up." Nathan snarled, dropping Wade.

Wade tried again to punch Nathan in the face. This time, he succeeded and there was an audible crack and blood spurted everywhere.

"Nathan!" Scott shouted in panic.

"Ugh." Nathan grunted. "I hate the taste of blood." He said, referring to the blood currently gushing from his nose.

"Yeah, welcome to my world." Wade chuckled as Nathan's metal fist collided into his face.

"Oh my." Sam said as the now-unconscious Wade hit the floor.

"You all saw he went for me first, right?" Nathan asked, pinching his nose.

"He broke your nose!" Scott rushed to his younger brother.

"I'm sure it's not that bad." Nathan said.

"Uh..." Scott frowned.

"Your face is black and swollen, Nathan. No way in hell you're getting away with that." Jessica Jones said. "So what do we do with Wade?"

"Duct tape." Nathan panted. " _Lots_ of duct tape. At least one roll for his mouth alone."

"I'll go get the duct tape." Sam offered.

"I'm coming with you." Steve said.

"I guess we'll move the body." Jess Drew said, grabbing Wade under his armpits. "Where to, Steve?"

"Just... I don't know, an empty classroom or something." Steve shrugged.

Jess Drew nodded as Sam and Steve walked off.

"So... That fight was something, right?" Sam asked. "What did you mean by it was a long time coming?"

"They're best friends. But they don't often agree on things. Mostly they keep things civil. But our campaigns, mine and Tony's, has split them. I never thought I'd see the break up of the best buddies."

"So... This has become a civil war?" Sam asked.

"In a way, I guess it has." Steve sighed as they turned a corner. "Civil war. Can't believe it's actually got _this far_. In a _day_."

"You can't give up, Steve." They stopped at the janitors' office and Sam knocked the door. "Like you said, it's only been a day. Don't let Tony win."

"Don't worry. I don't plan on it." Steve said.

Kraven opened the door. "Can I help you, kids?" He asked, trying to sound nice.

"Oh. Mr Kraven, sir, may we have some duct tape please?" Steve asked, suppressing his surprise that Kraven was back.

"Why you kids need duct tape?" Kraven asked.

"School project." Sam replied.

Kraven huffed, but walked back inside the office. "Fine. You kids can have duct tape. Not like I need it anyway." He went to his desk and rummaged through he drawer.

Sam stepped inside the room, but before he could go further, Steve yanked him back.

"So, Mr Kraven, sir, I heard you've been on a hunting trip. Did you enjoy it?" Sam asked.

"Could have been better." Kraven admitted. He walked back to them with the duct tape. "Here is duct tape. Do whatever you want with it. I don't care." He shut the door in Sam and Steve's faces.

"Well." Steve winced.

"Let's get back to the others." Steve said.

They both ran back to the classroom as Nathan was directing Jessica Jones and Jessica Drew, who were putting Wade in a chair.

"You got the duct tape." Nathan nodded appreciatively and took the tape with his metal hand.

The Jessicas moved away from Wade and let him slump in the chair.

"From Kraven." Sam said.

"Kraven's back?" Nathan asked. "Huh. Hadn't heard anything from mom. Or Hank. Usually his aunt knows _everything_." He peeled the tape and stuck it to Wade's chest and began to walk around and around the chair, taping Wade to it.

"Yeah, I know. Surprised at that one myself." Steve said.

"Then again, remember what I told you?" Nathan ripped the tape and moved to the back of the chair.

"About Hank?" Steve asked.

"Yeah." Nathan said, taping Wade's wrists together. "He's probably not your friend right now."

"What's going on with Hank?" Matt asked.

"He's on Tony's side." Steve said.

"What? Really?" Scott shook his head. "Hmm. Think you know a guy."

With the rest of the tape, Nathan began to tape Wade to the chair again. Unfortunately for Nathan, Wade woke up while Nathan was still duct taping him to a chair.

"What's going on here? How long was I out?" Wade asked.

Nathan checked his watch. "About seven minutes. If that." He replied.

Upon seeing the mess on Nathan's face, Wade smirked. "So I broke your nose, huh? That's funny."

"Yeah, well I duct taped you to a chair. That's _also_ funny." Nathan snapped.

"Great prank and all, Nate, but I gotta go pee." Wade said. "So if you don't mind letting me go-"

"I'm _not_ letting you go." Nathan growled.

"How come we have an audience?" Wade asked, referring to Steve, Scott, Sam, Matt and the two Jessicas who were all sitting down at the empty desks.

"Because they helped me move you in here after our fight." Nathan said.

"So why are you doing this, I don't-" Wade paused. "Wait, you're trying to teach me a lesson, aren't you?"

"Actually we were trying to stop you from recruiting my voters." Steve piped up.

"So that's a yes...?" Wade asked.

"Yes, Wade!" Everyone shouted.

"I thought you said he was intelligent?" Jess Drew said.

"He is. But he has his moments of non-intelligence." Nathan replied.

"How do you put up with him?" Sam asked.

"With great difficulty." Nathan sighed, turning back to Wade.

"You can't do this to me! I'm an American!" Wade shouted.

"But you're Canadian." Nathan frowned.

"You can't do this to me! I'm a Canadian!" Wade corrected himself.

"I'm trying to stop you from making a mistake, Wade!" Nathan paced in front of Wade.

"You can't coddle me forever, Nathan!" Wade shouted

"I'm just trying to help!" Nathan shouted back.

"You ruined everything!"

"I didn't ruin anything! You're the one that's trying to sway this election! I'll give you cookies if you vote for Tony-do you even know the legalities of that, Wade?!" Nathan was getting frustrated.

"Well, unlike you, you mutant Jesus, I couldn't be bothered Googling politics! Politics is for old white men and boring people." Wade said.

"What do you think we're all going to grow up to _be_ , Wade?" Nathan asked. "Jessica Jones and Jessica Drew are going to be boring old women and the rest of us are going to be boring old men."

"You're a mutant." Wade said. "That makes you a lot less boring than me."

"Is that what this is? You're _jealous_ of my telekinesis?" Nathan asked. "Is that why you're voting for Tony, so he can make you Hall Monitor and you get that little bit of power?"

"Yes!" Wade shouted. "Are you happy now?"

"Free him." Nathan said.

"Are you sure, I mean..." Steve began.

"Yeah. I'm sure." Nathan nodded.

Steve and Sam walked over to Wade's chair and began to untie the duct tape.

"You know you can do so much more on our side." Nathan said, crouching down to Wade's eye level. "Join us, Wade. Trust me."

"Kinda hard to do that when you're sounding suspiciously like Darth Vader." Wade raised an eyebrow.

"Tony's the _real_ Darth Vader." Nathan said.

When Wade was sufficiently freed, he head-butted Nathan in the face-on his already broken nose-sending him staggering backwards.

Nathan brought his hand to his nose. "You little..." He growled as blood seeped through his fingers.

"Nathan, you should go to my mom." Steve frowned.

"Yeah, I'm taking him there now." Scott wrapped his arm around his younger brother. "Come on Nathan."

"No, Scott." Nathan wiggled himself free. "You know what, Sam, Steve-keep him there."

"But I have to pee!" Wade whined as Sam and Steve stopped unwrapping the duct tape.

"Your fault, Wade." Nathan said as he was led out the room by Scott.

Everyone else followed. Steve was the last one out the room so he turned the light out and shut the door after him.

"Nathan, are you okay?" Steve offered Nathan a tissue.

"God, no. He broke my nose. I know it." Nathan took the tissue. "Dick."

"Does this mean...?" Sam began.

"No, I'm still voting for you, Steve." Nathan said.

"I'm sorry that it had to come this far, Nathan. I _will_ be having words with Tony about this." Steve said.

* * *

After lunchtime, everyone gathered back in Mr Selvig's classroom. Steve was the last student to enter and he did so angrily. He stormed over to Tony's desk as Tony was sharing a laugh with Rhodey.

Steve slammed his hands down on Tony's desk, startling him. "I hope you're happy." He snapped.

"Uh... I'm Tony Stark. Of _course_ I'm happy." Tony said.

"I'm glad you're so cavalier about this. Nathan Summers' face was destroyed today, Tony, just because he decided to vote for me." Steve shook his head in disgust. "Is everything a joke to you?"

"Funny things are." Tony replied.

"Well this is no laughing matter." Steve snapped.

"Who's laughing?" Tony asked.

"Sort out your voters, Tony." Steve said. "And while we're at it, stop trying to buy votes."

"Whoa, who's buying votes here?" Rhodey asked.

"Your campaign team." Steve replied. "You know, I _thought_ I knew you, Tony. I thought we were close enough to be best friends. I thought we _were_ best friends. But it turns out, I don't know you at all."

"I'm not buying votes-" Tony said.

"You told Wade Wilson he could be hall monitor!" Steve raised his voice. "And now he's gone and hopelessly destroyed Nathan Summers' nose! It's broken beyond recognition, Tony! There was so much blood..." He bit his lip.

"Look, I'm sorry, but-" Tony began.

"Apologize to Nathan Summers!" Steve shouted.

"I thought Wade and Nathan were best friends?" Rhodey asked.

"Exactly, Rhodey-it's like they were conjoined twins! And now they're breaking each others' bones! Tony!" Steve gritted his teeth. "Reign in your electorate, that's _all_ I'm asking."

"You know what?" Tony stood up and looked Steve in the eye. "No."

"How dare you-"

"How dare _you_?" Tony asked. "You go around like you're some perfect little patriot, everyone's golden boy, Captain America. Even my own _father_ would rather have _you_ for a son than _me_. Sometimes I just want to punch you in your perfect teeth, you know that? But I don't. Because I restrain myself." He leaned in closer. "But this is me now and I'm saying that I will win the election. That's it, Steve. The gloves are off. This. Is. War."

"I know war better than you do." Steve narrowed his eyes.

"You think you do," Tony raised an eyebrow, "but you're wrong."

"Trust me, I know what I'm talking about." Steve leaned in closer. "And I accept your declaration of war. Bring. It. On."

"Alright everyone, take your seats, Steve, Tony, that means you two as well." Mr Selvig said as he walked into the room. "Because today, we're going to be learning about fractions."

Both Steve and Tony took their seats and began plotting their revenges on each other, how they were going to outdo each other. Because as long as this election was running, it was war.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's on now! Civil War! Steve vs Tony! Who will be on who's side? Stay tuned!  
> You can catch Nate Summers and Wade Wilson's versions of events in Civil War Part II, out now in the companion fic, Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool.


	12. Civil War Part IV

Thor and Loki were on the floor of their home, playing Battleship, while Angela sat on the sofa watching cartoons. Odin was sat in his armchair reading the paper while Frigga was cooking in the kitchen. All in all it was a good morning in the Odinson/Odinsdottir household.

Until there was a roaring sound from the sky.

Thor stood up and made his way to the window to see what the noise was.

Angela turned her head to the noise and Loki kneeled and craned his head.

Just as Thor reached the window, there was an almighty crash in the backyard. A crash that sent Thor to the floor and set car alarms off in the neighborhood.

"What in Hel was that?" Frigga shouted as she rushed into the living room.

Loki stood up and frowned. "I think it is aliens." He said. "Or perhaps a test pilot has perished in our backyard."

"Father-" Thor pulled himself to his feet.

"Do not listen to your brother." Odin stood up from his chair. "I am certain that it is not 'aliens'. This is not an episode of Star Trek."

"Then what do you think it is, father?" Angela asked, getting to her feet.

"Most likely, it is indeed a test pilot." Odin answered curtly. "Though we can hope he is not dead." He made his way to the back door and opened it with his wife and children crowding behind.

Heimdall was looking over his garden fence. "Odin!" He called out. "You have an alien spaceship in your backyard!"

"Aliens?" Thor asked excitedly.

"It is _not_ an alien spaceship, Heimdall." Odin said coolly.

Heimdall chuckled. "Remember, Odin, I see all. That is why Xavier made me the security guard."

"You _were_ the Gatekeeper of-"

"That was _before_ Ragnarok, neighbor." Heimdall said. "You have an alien in your backyard. And your oldest son is investigating."

"Oldest son-?" Odin questioned. He looked behind him and noticed something wrong. He looked back towards the large metal object crashed in a crater in his backyard and saw Thor touching it.

"Thor!" Odin cried out. "Keep away from that-we know not yet what it is!"

Thor stood on tiptoes to peer inside a window. "Father... I see something. I think it is a horse."

"A horse?" Loki ran over. "It cannot be a horse, Brother."

"Wait, I would like to see the horse too." Angela said. She tried to follow her brothers, but was grabbed on the arm by Odin.

"Aldrif! You do not go to the... Thing." Odin snapped. "Am I understood?"

"Yes, Father." Angela replied moodily.

"Father!" Thor cried out as the metal object began to open. Thor and Loki took a step back and looked at the thing with apprehension.

"Congratulations, Odin." Heimdall leaned against the fence. "You are making contact with alien life."

From the metal object, which looked somewhat like a small aircraft, stepped out a small child. A small child with orange-brown skin, three fingers and a thumb on each hand, pupil-less eyes and a long face, rather like a horse. But without lips. Or ears.

Thor jumped back in horror, while Loki frowned and his jaw dropped slightly.

"Father what _is_ that?" Angela asked in disgust.

"Yes, Odin, what _is_ that creature?" Frigga asked.

"I do not know." Odin said softly. "I intend to find out." He walked towards the alien child.

"Hello. My name is Bill. I am from the planet Korbin." The alien child looked around as he said those words. "And I think I am lost."

"Father." Thor whispered loudly. "It talks."

"Yes, Thor, it does." Odin agreed. "However, ' _it'_ is also called 'Bill', so-"

"Odin, we should get the child inside before any more neighbors see." Frigga suggested.

"Yes. Good idea, Frigga." Odin agreed.

"It looks so _weird_!" Loki protested.

"Its appearance makes me nauseous!" Thor whined.

"Who are you going to call?" Angela folded her arms. "The FBI?"

"We are not going to call anybody, Aldrif, now be nice." Frigga snapped. "Are we, Odin? Going to call somebody?"

"We must send this child back where he came from, the planet Korbin." Odin said as he led the alien child inside. "But as he crashed into our backyard, he is not going anywhere for the moment."

* * *

"And so he is still staying with us." Thor said, his mouth full of sandwich. "The alien kid."

"He calls himself Bill." Loki sneered. "Beta Ray Bill."

"That's a weird name for a kid." Tony shrugged.

"Bill's perfectly normal." Steve pointed out.

"Yeah, but I think he meant the whole 'Beta Ray' put in front of it." Bruce said. "Beta Rays are a type of radiation."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Bruce, you think the kid's _radioactive_?" He asked incredulously. "Anyone else agree?"

"Mm." Hank shrugged. "It's certainly possible."

"And if the alien horse kid _is_ radioactive," Bruce began, "you're all getting cancer-"

"And dying!" Tony slammed his hands on the table melodramatically.

"Who's dyin'?" Logan asked, dumping his tray on the table.

"Thor and Loki, apparently." Natasha answered coolly. "They found a radioactive horse-faced alien in their backyard yesterday."

Logan frowned. "A what?"

"Exactly." Steve said. "I couldn't keep up either."

"You comin' over to us?" Logan asked, meaning himself, Bucky, Phil and Stephen since Steve and Tony fell out.

"Yeah, I am. Just Thor asked me here." Steve said. He took his lunchbox, dragged it off the table and walked away with Logan.

"Maybe you should apologize, Tony." Hank suggested.

"Pfft. Why should I?" Tony folded his arms. "Tell me?"

"Because Steve was your best friend." Bruce said.

Tony's shoulders dropped slightly, barely enough for his friends to register, though he knew that Bruce was right.

* * *

In the staff room, Odin was with the staff who didn't have lunch duty. As of today, that included Peggy Carter, May Parker, Clay Quartermain, Nick Fury and Genis Vell. Or rather, Odin was sitting away from them, stirring his coffee cup.

Nick walked over to him. "Penny for your thoughts?"

"Oh. Hello, Nick." Odin greeted.

"Something's bothering you." Nick said. "I can tell."

"I just had a child come into my care." Odin said. "A child I cannot care for."

"An alien, right?" Genis Vell said as he passed with his coffee cup. "That's what the kids are saying."

Clay moved closer. "Wait, you have an _alien_ kid?"

"Is that what that crashing noise was yesterday?" Peggy asked. "I thought your house had been hit by a bomb!"

"Very funny, Peggy." Nick rolled his eye. "So it's true, Borson, you're harboring an alien?"

"I am not harboring _anything_." Odin snapped.

"You know it's okay, right?" Genis Vell asked. "I'm an alien. My father Mar Vell is an alien, as is my sister Phyla Vell. Adam's an alien. And half the staff at Stan Lee are also aliens. And Norrin, Yondu and Stakar at Marvel Middle School."

"How do you know so many aliens?" May asked.

Genis Vell shrugged. "When you are from outer space, you get to know other people from outer space." He replied. "As far as I know though, only my family are from Hala."

"Tell me about the kid that came down from the sky, Odin." Nick said.

"He is... Rather strange looking." Odin began. "I know not what to do with him."

"Do you know his home planet?" Genis Vell asked.

"Indeed. I believe he said it was Korbin." Odin answered.

Genis Vell sucked his teeth and grimaced. "Korbin." He shook his head. "Korbin was destroyed by, uh, by Surtur."

"That child is like Superman." Nick said. "Probably sent to get away from the destruction."

Odin's eye widened. "Surtur? From Muspelheim?"

"Uh... Yeah." Genis Vell nodded.

"Oh dear." Odin shook his head. "That poor child."

"I know, Odin. Try not to let it get to you-" Nick began.

"That child and my family have both lost our homes to Surtur." Odin said.

"So what _does_ he look like?" Genis Vell asked.

"He is small. Like a child usually is." Odin replied. "His eyes have no pupils. He has a long snout with no nose or lips-or even ears. I am rather unsure how he hears. He has three fingers on each hand. And his skin is oddly colored. It is a shade of dark orange."

"I've never come across an alien who looks like _that_." Genis Vell said. "Although... Perhaps my father has." He shrugged. "I don't know. I'll talk to him when he's off lunch duty. Maybe he can come around and see the kid."

"Odin, what's the child's name?" May asked.

"He said it was Bill." Odin answered.

"With such a weird description, I was half expecting him to be called Kal-El Chaka Khan or something just as stupid." Nick said. "But _Bill_?" He tutted. "Wasn't expecting that."

"Bill is just so... Normal." May agreed.

"He is no normal child, May, I assure you." Odin said.

"Where is he now?" Clay asked.

"Frigga is nursing his injuries back home." Odin said. "He did, after all, crash land in our back yard."

* * *

Back in the cafeteria, Scott put his tray down on the table and poked at his rice with a fork. His younger sister Cassie and her friends Tommy, Billy, Teddy, Kate, Eli and America were also sitting at the table.

"You gonna eat that, Scott?" Cassie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's dry." Was Scott's response.

"Nothing worse than dry rice." Cassie responded.

"No! _You_ listen here! Steve has the best ideas..." A voice cried out from another table.

"Can't go one day without the election getting mentioned." Eli huffed.

"Well, it's important. They're going to be representing us all when they go to the sixth grade." Scott said. "You know, like how Brian Braddock does now. You think this election is ugly, he was running against his sister Betsy last year."

"Scott, I'm in the same grade as you are and I can tell you that that's crap." Kate slammed her fork down. "This is _easily_ worse."

"Yeah, how?" Scott raised an eyebrow.

"For starters, it was just Brian and Betsy fighting each other, not the whole entire school fighting each other. This is civil war, Scott and you know it."

"So they're calling it." Cassie shrugged.

"While we're on the subject, who're you voting for?" Kate asked.

"Steve." Scott said. "I always sensed something off about that Johann Schmidt."

"Do you have proof that he's a Nazi though?" Eli asked.

"Hank Pym's aunt." Cassie and Scott said in unison.

"She's usually right about stuff." America shrugged. "She seems to know everything."

"She's a gossip." Kate snorted.

"Definitely." Scott agreed. "Who are you voting for, then?"

"Steve." America said with a nod.

"Yeah. Steve." Teddy agreed.

"Steve for me." Billy said.

"Another voter for Steve." Eli said.

"Tony." Kate said. Everyone looked at her. "Geez, like hell I'm voting Tony. I'm voting Steve."

"I'm voting Steve too. So's Cassie. Right sis?" Scott turned to his sister, who nodded.

"I uh... I'm voting Tony." Tommy said.

"Really?" Kate raised an eyebrow. "You're going to vote for Tony?"

"I just... Feel like Schmidt being a Nazi isn't, uh, true." Tommy said. "Look, I'm gonna leave." He grabbed his practically full tray and stood up.

"You know it's not right with the superpowers, right Tommy?" Kate asked. "People should be able to keep secrets if they want."

"Truth is, I don't know anymore." Tommy said. He walked away, watched by his friends, and dumped the full tray into the nearest bin.

" _That_ was a waste of food." America said.

* * *

The arguing over Tony and Steve continued throughout the lunch period. Friendships continued to be torn apart. Even familial relationships. And though Thor was voting for Steve, he tried his best to maintain his friendships with those who were voting Tony, which was proving difficult.

Even as Thor walked down the hall to get to his classroom, he could see people shunning their former friends, or hear them arguing. He heard a full blown argument from Brian and Betsy Braddock.

"How _dare_ you vote Tony!" Betsy shouted.

"I think he has some good ideas-" Brian began.

"Brian!" Betsy shouted. "He's a little prick!"

"He's a little prick who's got good ideas!"

"Oh yeah?" Betsy folded her arms. "Name me one."

"Super powered people should say who they are." Brian said.

"That-it-he's not running for _president_!" Betsy growled.

"He's running for class president!" Brian snapped. "Student body president."

"For god's sake, Brian!" Betsy snapped back. " _You're_ the president _now_!"

"And you remember how ugly it was last year, when we were fighting against each other."

"Yeah, but I'm doing fine. I'm your vice president."

"I don't know why people are making such a big deal about the whole powers thing, that isn't just what Tony's standing for, you know." Brian shrugged. "He wants healthier eating in the cafeteria. Steve wants Johann Schmidt canned because he thinks he's a Nazi. There's no real evidence either that Schmidt is a Nazi."

Thor carried on walking. Slowly. Thinking about the repulsive alien creature back at home. The alien who showed up out of nowhere, demanding the affections of his mother. And Thor didn't like that. He didn't like it any more than all this infighting over Steve and Tony.

Thor pushed the door of the classroom open and saw nothing but fighting and hatred.

Steve shouting at Tony who was shouting back at Steve. Both looking angry and full of hate.

Bruce was glaring at Logan, while Logan seemed to be just itching for a fight, both looking like they could kill the other.

Thor moved over to his seat, trying to avoid all the confrontation, and sat down.

"Thor, you're late," Mr Selvig began, "not that we had much opportunity to do anything at the moment anyway. Not with all this arguing."

"It wouldn't be arguing if Tony would listen to what I had to say!" Steve snapped.

"I've listened, I don't like it." Tony folded his arms. "I don't think anyone as scrawny as Steve deserves to be president."

"How dare you?!" Steve growled. "You're disabled too!"

"I am _not_ disabled!" Tony yelled.

"At least I didn't create a stupid genocidal robot!" Steve yelled back. "Too late to feel guilty about that, Tony, the damage is done!"

"Loki skewered Phil like a kebab!" Tony countered. "Imagine if everyone did that! And your Nathan Summers tied up my Wade Wilson and kept him captive! That shows that you can't trust-"

"Only because Wade Wilson broke his nose!" Steve huffed. "Keep your goons under your damn control, Tony!'

"Okay!" Mr Selvig shouted at the top of his voice, over the two. "Boys, keep politics out of the classroom! And Steve, language."

"Well, it's not like Tony, Bruce, Hank and Loki don't need reigning in." Darcy whispered to Jane.

"It's not like either of them have superpowers." Jane replied. "I mean, probably. But it's not our business to know."

"It's _absolutely_ our business to know!" Darcy hissed. "People with powers can snap and turn on us-look at Phil Coulson-"

"That was an _accident_." Jane hissed back.

"But we need to know their weaknesses."

"And do what?" Jane asked. "Darcy, we're kids."

"We have a right to know." Darcy said adamantly.

"Leave it." Jane snarled.

Darcy grabbed Jane's wrist. "Listen to me!"

"Get _off_ me!" Jane punched Darcy in the arm.

"How dare you?!" Darcy pulled Jane's hair.

Jane responded by punching Darcy in the face.

Next thing, they were both punching, pulling, biting and scratching each other.

"Hey! Stop it!" Mr Selvig shouted. When Jane and Darcy carried on fighting, Mr Selvig rushed over to them. "Darcy! Jane! To Principal Xavier right now!"

Darcy and Jane carried on fighting and Mr Selvig carried on trying to break them up.

"Well, it's not like they're the first to fight like this." Phil said to Nick.

"Yeah. Wilson and Summers were first." Nick agreed. "And that was barely a day into the campaign."

"Clint and Natasha." Phil said.

"Clint broke his bow hitting Natasha and Natasha ripped his hearing aid out." Nick said. "And shoved it in his eye."

"The Power kids, Julie and Jack." Phil added.

"Oh yeah." Nick nodded. "Jack is voting Steve and Julie is voting Tony. Namor pulled them apart at lunch."

"And Mrs Rael did the same to Kamala and Doreen." Phil said.

"Jane and Darcy won't be the last to fight." Nick said. "There's so much tension. Because of the election. Phil, this really is a civil war."

"I know, Nick." Phil nodded. "I know. And I'm on the right side."

"So am I." Nick said as Jane and Darcy were finally separated and sent to the principal.

"Steve?" Phil questioned.

Nick nodded in confirmation. "Steve."

"Yeah. Me too." Phil said.

"Okay, now that that disturbance is out of the way, we can get back to fractions." Mr Selvig said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm introducing Beta Ray Bill because he's my beautiful baby and nobody gets to say anything bad about him. I know in the comics he was introduced rather differently (he had a fight to the death with Thor with Odin watching because he was Worthy) and that he was much taller-among other things-but more will be revealed in time. Also, there will be a fight between Thor and Bill so yay!  
> Also Asgard! Yay!  
> Young Avengers! Yay!  
> Kree! Yay!  
> Original Guardians of the Galaxy! Yay  
> Nine Realms! Yay!  
> More stuff is opening up. What does this mean?  
> Stay tuned.  
> Chapter III is also up in Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool.


	13. Civil War Part V

Odin arrived home with Thor and Loki to find Frigga sitting on the couch with Bill's head in her lap, which she was stroking gently and lovingly. Bill himself was lying on the couch with a blanket covering his body and a bandage wrapped around his head.

"How does the child, Frigga?" Odin asked.

"He still lives, Odin." Frigga answered. "Though he has said nothing to me."

"Boys!" Odin called out. "Go to your bedrooms! I wish this conversation with your mother to be private."

Thor and Loki said nothing as they left the room, but shouted at each other and trumped up the stairs.

Odin said nothing as he slumped into his armchair.

Frigga continued to stroke Bill's strange skin. "Odin. Didst thou have a hard day at work?"

"Forsooth, yes. Those children in first grade are seemingly going to cause my demise." Odin replied. "Yet this is not cause for my reaction. I worry for the child." He gestured to Bill. "I worry for Bill."

"Bill has been well cared for." Frigga said. "He is asleep after a long day."

"I have had a long day." Odin snapped.

"Thou didst not crash land in our backyard yesterday." Frigga countered.

"Verily." Odin said absently. "I had not imagined this is what we would be doing after Ragnarok."

"Teaching is wonderful, Odin, it is a noble profession-"

"Caring for an alien child with no home world to return to." Odin replied.

"Odin..."

"One of my colleagues today informed me that the planet Korbin was destroyed by Surtur."

Frigga gasped. "No!"

"Then thou art aware of the meaning?" Odin cocked his head slightly. "Ragnarok may yet happen _again_."

Bill turned over and put his hand on Frigga's knee, but did not stir.

"Odin-" Frigga lowered her voice. "That cannot be."

"I am afraid it is, my dear Frigga." Odin said.

"Do we tell the children?" Frigga asked.

"Yes." Odin said simply. "But we do not tell Aldrif, Thor or Loki. They are young. They do not need to know."

"What of Heimdall? And Sif?" Frigga asked.

"I am certain Heimdall is already aware." Odin said.

* * *

The next day, everyone was sitting at their desks and everyone had turned up, from Vision to Sam Wilson. However, many of them were sporting injuries-cuts, bruises, black eyes.

Mr Selvig dumped his satchel on the desk and sighed, looking out at the kids. "Since you can't seem to behave yourselves long enough during an election period without beating each other up. Every single one of you, besides Vision and Maria, are serving detention with me after school. And I know more in other grades are too. So... The election will be held this afternoon."

Murmurs spread through the class and Clint turned to look at his interpreter.

"Good luck Tony and Steve." Mr Selvig said boredly. "Try _not_ to kill each other."

* * *

Everyone was just as divided as ever at lunch. Nobody was talking to their former friends or family. Most had found new friends in those that supported who they did.

Jess was no longer friends with Carol. Nick was no longer friends with Maria. Jane was no longer friends with Darcy. Sif was no longer friends with Loki. Natasha was no longer friends with Clint. And that was just the fourth grade.

America, Teddy, Billy, Kate and Eli were refusing to talk to Tommy so Cassie got fed up and defected to Team Tony. She was shunned by her own brother Scott after that.

Sue and Reed, who had been boyfriend and girlfriend, were no longer together. And Reed refused to talk to his friend Ben once he'd found out Ben defected to team Steve.

Brian and Betsy Braddock hated each other's guts. If there wasn't a teacher around, they would try to physically fight each other.

Bucky hasn't said a word to his sister Becky since he found out she liked Tony.

Thor had, as well, fallen out with his dear friends Sif as well as Fandral, Hogun and Volstagg, because they were all Team Tony and Thor was on Team Steve.

And then there was Wade and Nathan.

It was not a comfortable position for anyone to be in.

However, some had kept their friends and even made new ones.

Steve stayed friends with Bucky, Clint, Phil, Thor, Sam and Nick. And Tony stayed friends with Bruce, Hank, Loki, Pepper, Rhodey and Natasha.

Wanda and Pietro stayed on speaking terms, as they were both supporting Steve, as did Jean-Paul and Jeanne Marie, who were supporting Tony.

Danny stayed friends with Luke, Colleen, Matt, Jessica and Misty as they were all supporting Steve. However, Matt had fallen out with Maya after learning she supported Tony.

Nico and Gert stayed best friends as they too were supporting Steve.

And Steve got to personally know all of his supporters through the school, from Teddy to Kurt.

So it wasn't a surprise to Tony when Steve was standing outside with Bucky, handing out last minute 'Vote Steve' flyers.

"Give it up, you're not going to win." Tony said as he approached the two.

"I am going to win." Steve said adamantly. "And put an end to all this shit."

Tony smirked. "Language, Steve."

"Get lost before I cram this flyer down your throat." Bucky held up a flyer threateningly before balling it up in his metal arm.

Steve put his hand on Bucky's flesh arm. "Bucky, we don't need to go there."

"By the end of today, Steve, you'll be dead."

"What are you going to do, Tony?" Steve raised an eyebrow. "Steal my inhaler?"

"I've got Simon Williams to make a smear video against you." Tony said smugly.

Steve snorted. "That YouTube guy from Stan Lee?"

Tony nodded. "He's gonna make you look stupid."

"He's from _Stan Lee_. Nobody's gonna listen to him here." Steve insisted.

"Now get out of here before I ram this down your throat." Bucky moved his arm toward Tony, who flinched slightly. "You're afraid of a ball of paper. Just... Get out."

* * *

Because Frigga had called Odin home, he brought his sons with him. He put his key in the door and opened it, glaring at Thor and Loki as he did so.

"I do not want you boys fighting because of that Rogers boy and that Stark boy." He said coldly. "Do not say anything out of turn or you shall be punished. And you are not to disturb Bill as he is recovering still. Am I understood?"

"Yes, Father." Thor and Loki chorused.

"Good." Odin pushed the door open. "Stay quiet."

"Odin?" Frigga's voice called out. "I'm in the living room."

Odin walked in to find Frigga sitting on the couch and Bill sitting, swinging his legs and kicking his small feet into his chair.

"Frigga, what did you call me home for?" Odin asked.

"I called you home because of the child, Odin, because of Bill." Frigga said.

"Is he-"

"He is alright." Frigga confirmed. "But the things this child has been through, Odin, it breaks my heart."

"What _has_ this child been through?" Odin asked apprehensively.

* * *

Outside, both Thor and Loki were sitting on the stairs.

"What do you think they are discussing, Brother?" Thor asked.

"I am not talking to you." Loki said.

"Father said to leave the politics at school." Thor countered.

"Whatever it is, it cannot be good." Loki said. "Surely, they are not talking about us."

"No, they are more likely discussing that vile looking alien creature." Thor said.

"Indeed." Loki agreed. "I do not know why they keep that _thing_." He spat in disgust. "It is _clearly_ a freak of nature that should _never_ have been allowed to survive."

"It has no lips."

"Is that all you think about, Thor?" Loki asked.

"It has a huge head with a huge snout... But no nose."

"It also has no pupils." Loki added. "How does it see without pupils?"

"Why do Mother and Father want it around?" Thor asked.

"Because it is injured." Loki said coldly. "They hope to nurse it back to health and let it go like a bird with a broken wing."

"But that is not a bird." Thor pointed to the living room door. "That is a _monster_!

"Aye. Indeed it is, Thor." Loki nodded. "You and I agree, the monster must go."

* * *

Back at school that afternoon, Thor and Loki were dropped off outside their classroom by their father.

When they went inside their classroom, they found a cardboard box with a slit in the top and sign taped to the side reading 'votes here' in scrawled handwriting. There was another, larger cardboard box, cut up flat and propped up that served as a sort of curtain on Mr Selvig's desk. It was easy to see that Mr Selvig had just had a new fifty inch flatscreen TV by Toshiba, or one of his neighbor's had.

"Okay." Mr Selvig sighed. "You will wait outside and I will call your names alphabetically and you will come in here to vote and then go back outside to wait _quietly_." He explained. "Steve and Tony will not vote. Everybody out except for Bruce, who will be voting first."

Everyone left the classroom and glared at each other.

* * *

As time went on, more and more people had been called into the classroom until only Sam was left.

Sam went into the classroom, picked up his ballot paper and walked to Mr Selvig's desk. Behind the cardboard divider, he wrote in pencil, the name of the candidate he chose-Steve, of course. Hands shaking, he put the pencil down and folded the paper. He walked to the box and put the paper in the box.

Mr Selvig ushered Sam out. "Now I will begin the counting procedure." He announced. "I will come out shortly with the results. Nobody is to say who they voted for, but I'm sure you all know anyway." He went back into the classroom.

After ten minutes, Mr Selvig came back outside and called his class in.

"Okay. The results are in." He began. "And with a majority of twelve votes to eleven... Tony Stark is the new student president."

Team Steve were stunned to silence while Team Tony were celebrating jubilantly.

"Shut up!" Steve shouted in Tony's face. "Just shut up! I know you think I'm out of touch and deluded, but-"

"You are. If you weren't, you would have won." Tony said.

Steve folded his arms. "You think because I'm here that you won?"

"Uh... Yeah." Tony nodded. "Because I'm the president."

"Well at least I maintained my principles, Tony." Steve countered. "When you dropped my friendship, Tony... You lost this before it even started."

"What are you talking about, Steve?" Tony asked, as the celebration died down around him. Even people on Team Steve had stopped to listen. Except for Clint. He was doodling on a piece of paper.

"You think, Tony, you think that because you know how to program a computer that you think you're better than me. You think that because your family has more money than mine that you're more of a human than me. That because I don't know what you know..." Steve bit his lip and shook his head. "I know what freedom is. My father fought and died to defend it. But you-and you alone made this war! You caused all your friends and classmates to hate each other-brothers, sisters, cousins-not speaking because of the war _you_ created by your force of will!" His voice got progressively louder. "And now you're the school president, King of the world! I want to know what made you think that you were the moral compass of the whole school?! How could you _do_ what you did? But more importantly, Tony, I want to know... Was it worth it?! Tell me!"

Tony stood there, staring at the red faced, much smaller Steve Rogers, who had a voice much bigger than he stood. For a minute or so, he said nothing. Nobody did.

Breaking the silence, Tony took a breath.

"You're just a sore loser, Steve."

"You _bet_ I am." Steve pulled his chair out with a violent scrape and sat down. "You bet I _am_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ragnarok is coming! But when? All I can answer that is soon. Soon.  
> First mention of the Runaways! And Wonder Man! There will be a lot more Wonder Man soon. When? Soon.  
> Steve and Tony's final confrontation is based off Civil War: The Confession. You know, the one where Cap's dead and Tony's crying about it. It bums me out too. But hey, he got resurrected after, lost the super soldier serum, got it back and now he's a Nazi. Circle of life and all that. Not that I'm happy about Cap being a Nazi.  
> Civil War VI is out now in Kid Cable and Kid Deadpool.


	14. Sleepover

A week after the election, relationships were still sour. Friends were still not talking, and the school was still deeply divided. So Thor decided to correct things while going through with his plan to oust Beta Ray Bill, by handing out invitations to a sleepover.

"Here you go, my friends!" His voice boomed across the classroom as he handed out invitations. "Sleepover!"

Invitations went to Tony, Steve, Rhodey, Bucky, Clint and Phil.

Tony lowered his sunglasses. "Uh, I'm not going if Steve's going to be there."

"And I'm not going if _Tony's_ going to be there." Steve snapped.

Tony pulled his fist back. "Why you bitter sonofa-"

"Alright class!" Mr Selvig said loudly as he walked in.

Tony rushed to his seat and took his sunglasses off in a bid to look as innocent as possible.

"Time to take registration-and Tony, I saw that. You will be spending lunchtime with Mr Jameson." Mr Selvig said as casually as possible. "Try to be more responsible since you are the president. Okay." He sat at his desk and began typing his username and password into the computer. "Today, we in first period, we will be having an assembly as those who have super powers and abilities will reveal themselves. Then in second period, you have gym with Mr Dugan, just thought I'd remind you of that."

Groans filled the classroom.

"Yes, yes, I know you don't like it, but honestly, it gives me a break. I don't know how Ms Carter is going to cope with you lot next year." Mr Selvig said. "And again, I'd like you not to forget that Mr Von Doom is teaching you music this afternoon."

The groaning stopped and was instead replaced with expressions of fear. Every one of the kids looked like a deer in the headlights-except for Vision.

"Now that we have the day's agenda sorted, I will begin to call the register." Mr Selvig looked at his computer screen. "Vision?"

Vision put their hand up.

* * *

Through the staff, word had quickly spread about the Viking end of the world. Though it had been left out that word had been brought by a horse faced, cybernetic alien child.

Heimdall prowled the corridors as he usually did. The children were all in their classes, as they should be. As Heimdall passed the fourth grade classroom, he saw Sif slip out of the door and shut it behind her.

"Sif. Where is your hall pass?" He asked.

"Heimdall!" Sif hissed. "You-of course you knew. You see everything."

"I don't see everything." Heimdall said. "If I did, I would be seeing thy hall pass."

Sif sighed and produced her hall pass.

"Sif, 'tis most dangerous for thee to be alone in these trying times." Heimdall said.

"I'm fine, Heimdall." Sif said. "Unless it _is_ true about the end of the world."

"Where didst thou hear that?"

" _Over_ hear." Sif corrected. "I overheard a couple of teachers talking about it."

"Thou should not be hearing of such things."

"Well, I _did_ , okay?" Sif said defensively.

"Sif, thou art a God. It would serve thee well to behave as such."

"Translation: stop giving me lip." Sif rolled her eyes. "Brother, can I go to the toilet now?"

"Thou shalt proceed." Heimdall nodded and stepped to the side.

"Thanks." Sif said casually and practically darted past him.

* * *

Tony walked into the secret and specialised gym that Principal Xavier called the Danger Room and smiled to himself as he saw how many more kids were in there.

"Right, thank you Mr President, for arriving late." Principal Xavier said. "Now, for the many, many new faces we see today, we're going to introduce each other, going around the room and saying your name or your codename and a bit about your powers. President Iron Kid can go first."

Tony sighed loudly. "I'm Iron Kid. My powers are all based in my technology and my arc reactor. As you can see." He lifted his arms and spun around to show his boots, gauntlets and the wires connecting them to a backplate.

"Okay. I'm Howard. And I'm an alien duck." Howard shrugged.

"I'm Rocket. And I was a science experiment. Now I'm not." He said in a sort of growl.

"I'm Kid Marvel!" Kamala declared. "I stretch and stuff."

"I'm Squirrel Girl and I might be a mutant or I might be an inhuman. I'm not sure yet. We're still figuring that out." Doreen said. "Anyway, this is Monkey Joe," she pointed at the squirrel on her shoulder, "and I have squirrel powers."

"Uh, Daredevil." Matt said almost uncertainly. "Aaand... I have echolocation powers and super senses."

Lorna put her hand up. "Polaris. And I can manipulate metal and stuff."

"Well, I'm Cable," Nathan began, "I can move stuff with my mind. And do other stuff with my mind. Don't cross me."

"Yeah, yeah. You know me as Ant Man, but I'm actually Ant _Kid_." Hank said with a half sigh. "And with this helmet," Hank held up a silver helmet with prongs that resembled antennae and had some kind of box suspended over where the mouth would be, "I can speak to and control ants. I'm also working on a way I can shrink down to ant size." He paused. "It's going... Well?"

"I am Quake and I can create earthquakes." Skye said simply.

"I am the assistant librarian and assistant for this class. Still call me Toro." He said. "I am an Inhuman and I can turn my whole body to flame, control it and I can fly." He turned to Clint and tapped him on the shoulder.

Clint nodded. "Hawkeye. Archery. I never miss." He said rather succinctly.

"Right. Who of our new members would like to tell us more about themselves?" Principal Xavier asked.

"I am Vision." They said in monotone. "I am a robot-"

"You're a synthezoid." Hank interjected. "I should know, I created the technology to make you."

"Let's just call it an android and call it even." Tony shrugged.

Hank's fingers curled into a fist. "I will _not_ call it an android, Tony, because it is a _synthezoid_." He said through gritted teeth. "It is-"

"Technically our grandkid." Tony said flippantly. "And it's in our grade at school."

"Well it _does_ know stuff up to fourth grade level."

"Don't you wonder _why_?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, you can argue about this another time." Principal Xavier said. "Gamora, would you like to speak?"

"Okay." She shrugged casually. "Whatever. I'm Gamora. I'm an alien, I guess. I don't know what kind. Titan, probably. Like my dad."

Nebula rolled her eyes. "Oh _whatever_. Haven't you noticed that our Uncle Eros _isn't_ green?"

"And I suppose _you_ weren't paying attention when he took us to see Wicked on Broadway?"

"You're not Elphaba, Gamora!" Nebula groaned. "For god's sake."

"Well Dad's purple!" Gamora argued.

"He's mutated in some weird way." Nebula said.

"Maybe we are too." Gamora shrugged.

"I'm Nebula. And I'm an alien too." Nebula said.

"Okay. Well, I guess you can call me... Jewel?" Jessica said thoughtfully, as if it were the first word that popped into her head. "Yeah, Jewel." She nodded enthusiastically. "Okay. And I have super strength and I can fly. But I'm not a mutant or an inhuman. I was just in a horrible accident in which my entire family died and I was doused in chemicals and-"

Luke cleared his throat loudly.

"Okay." Jessica nodded. "Wrong time. Sorry."

"Alright." Luke inhaled sharply. "I'm uh, Power Boy. And I have super strength too. But I can't fly. But I do have unbreakable skin. I can never bleed and I am virtually indestructible. I'm a mutate, since I was used as a Guinea pig. I also hope I never need to have surgery of any kind."

 _Call me Echo._ Maya signed, which caused Clint's eyes to widen slightly. _I have no super powers. I possess photographic reflexes. I copy things other people do._

 _Neat ability._ Clint signed with a smirk. _I'm H-A-W-K-E-Y-E. I'm Deaf too._

"Other people call me Moon Girl. I guess you can too." Lunella began. "I... I have a pet T-Rex and my mind can swap with his sometimes. I'm still not sure of the trigger." She said earnestly.

"I'm Danny Rand-K'ai. And I'm training to become the next Iron Fist. I mean, I'm not _the_ Iron Fist, but I suppose you can call me... just Iron Fist." He shrugged. "I can do lots of martial arts and stuff. But I can charge my chi energy and make my fists, like, glow and stuff and then it punches harder than usual. It's pretty cool."

"Why not Glow Fist then?" Luke asked.

"Because Iron Fist is better." Danny said.

Luke gave a casual 'fair enough' one-sided shrug.

"I don't know what you could call me." America said. "I mean, probably just America, since that's my name. And I have pretty weird powers. Super strong, super reflexes, super... Everything. And I can open portals to other dimensions and travel through them."

Everyone gaped at America, but Tony. "That's actually pretty cool." He said.

"I know." She said happily.

"I'm, um... Nico." She began. "I'm a witch, so I have witch powers. And I can also fly when I have my Staff of One."

"What's that?" Skye asked.

"It's like a magic wand. Sort of." Nico answered.

"Okay." Julie said. "Well, I'm Lightspeed. And I can fly at... Light speed. My brother is Mass Master."

Jack waved and smiled.

"And my sister is Energizer."

"I'm Energizer." Katie said.

Julie continued. "We already operate as superheroes, along with our older brother, Zero-G."

"Yeah, we're the Power Pack." Jack said. "I mean, that's our last name, so..."

"As for how we got our powers..." Julie paused. "It's a long story."

"I'm... Jessica?" Jessica Drew shrugged. "I suppose you can call me Spider-Girl. It's a long story how I got my powers too. But they came from spiders."

"I'm Teddy. Like Squirrel Girl, I'm not sure what I am. I think I might be an Inhuman. But anyway, I can like, change my shape and what I look like and stuff. A bit like Kid Marvel, without the stretching."

Everyone turned to Megan.

"What's occurin'?, I'm a mutant, I think, though I could also be a fairy-in any case, call me Pixie. I have wings, so I can fly. And don't think I wouldn't hesitate to give your squirrel a cwtch, Squirrel Girl."

Tony's jaw dropped. "Uh..."

"I have no idea what most of that meant." Hank admitted.

"She wants to hug Monkey Joe." Principal Xavier said. "Alright. Now that you all know who you are, I would like to start this lesson. Today, you will learn how to defend yourself from belligerent Purifiers."

* * *

Steve went home that afternoon with Bucky at his side. He opened the door to his apartment to find his mother already cooking.

"Hey, Mom." Steve greeted.

"Hi, Mrs. Rogers." Bucky greeted.

"Hello, Steve. And hello, James." Sarah smiled. "Falafel wraps for dinner."

"Actually, Mom, Thor and Loki invited us for a sleepover." Steve said.

"Oh, that's nice." Sarah said. "Are you going?"

"No." Steve dumped his backpack on the floor and sat on the couch.

Bucky sat with him and picked up the TV remote.

"Why not?"

"Besides the fact that I know you're going to be worried about me and constantly calling Mr Odinson-"

"Borson."

"We call him Odinson." Bucky interjected.

"-to see if I've taken my fifty meds-"

"You take eight meds."

"And the rest, Mom!" Steve sighed. "Tony's gonna be there."

"Well, Steve, you used to be best friends-"

Bucky loudly cleared his throat.

"-so you're going to have to talk to each other again at some time or other."

"I'd rather be shot dead than have to talk to Tony again."

"Steve!" Sarah's eyes shot open as she turned to look at her son. "Don't say that! That's a horrible thing to say!"

Steve gave a nonchalant shrug.

Sarah dropped her spoon angrily in her saucepan. "You are _going_ to that sleepover, Steve." She said. "If I have to drop you off at the Borsons myself."

"Haha!" Bucky pointed at Steve.

"And I'm calling your mother, Bucky." Sarah said. "I'm sure Winnie would agree with me on this one."

"What?!" Bucky pulled a face. "No, Mrs Rogers, that is _not_ fair!"

"You can't just send us to Thor's slumber party!" Steve plead. "Apparently they have an alien... Horse faced thing living with them."

"That's not true, Steve." Sarah said.

"What about this Viking end of the world I keep hearing about?" Steve asked.

"Yeah, I heard Mr Woo, Mr Eisenhardt and Mrs Joyce-Frank all talking about it at lunch." Bucky said.

"Yeah! The Odinsons are Norwegian so they're probably behind it." Steve said.

"Steve, Bucky, the Viking apocalypse isn't happening." Sarah sighed. "And even if it was, a small Norse family living in New York City isn't going to start it."

"Ever find it weird that they have ol- _dee_ English accents?" Bucky asked.

"They are _not_ going to start the Apocalypse." Sarah repeated, this time more firmly. "And they aren't harboring an alien. You are going to that slumber party whether you want to, or not."

* * *

Tony walked around his mansion alone. He was bored to death of nearly everything since Jarvis, the family butler, was assigned to keep an eye on him as his parents were at an overnight Stark Industries conference. If Tony so much as farted, his father would hear about it.

Tony knew it was his parents being overprotective of him since he nearly died the previous year-and he still had the shrapnel in his heart to prove it-but what could Jarvis do if someone broke in and kidnapped him?

He looked again at Thor's sleepover invite, which looked more and more appealing to Tony by the second, even though Steve might be there. But nobody would dare mess with Odin Odinson. He was the type of man who nobody dared to question. Nobody dared to cross.

"Jarvis?" Tony asked as he walked into one of the rooms.

"Yes, Tony?" Jarvis replied. He was sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper in spite of the fact that there was a huge flatscreen TV mounted to the wall in front of him.

"I've been invited to a sleepover tonight-"

"No." Jarvis said flatly.

"You're not my father." Tony said argumentatively.

"I am not, but as for tonight, I _am_ your _guardian_." Jarvis turned the page on his newspaper. "And I have been assigned to watch you. I'm sorry, Tony, the answer is still no."

"This is because of my heart condition, isn't it?" Tony folded his arms across his chest.

"Well, your father _is_ concerned that the arc reactor in your chest could give out at a moment's notice." Jarvis lowered his paper slightly and raised an eyebrow. "After all, it is based on untried and untested technology."

Tony scoffed. "It's better than a car battery. And he's just mad that I improved the tech and made it usable."

"Tony." Jarvis said in a warning tone.

"Come on, Jarvis. _Please_." Tony grunted. "This isn't fair! You're holding me hostage here-you're no better than the Mandarin!"

Jarvis inhaled sharply and slammed his newspaper down as Tony uttered the name 'Mandarin'.

"Don't you _dare,"_ Jarvis began, "ever mention the name 'Mandarin' again in my presence. But yes, it's because of _him_. Tony, he blew you up and left your for dead."

"I'm fine."

"You were in a coma for days hooked up to a car battery-"

"That car battery and Yinsen saved my life. I sucks that Ma-"

"Don't say his name." Jarvis warned.

" _He_ killed Yinsen too." Tony said. "I know you're worried about _him_ -"

"Because he's still out there."

"But he's not going to go after Odin Odinson." Tony pointed out.

"Odin _Borson_." Jarvis corrected. "And no I... Suppose he isn't."

"So I can go?" Tony asked hopefully.

"You can go. But I am staying." Jarvis said.

Tony sighed. "It's not going to get better, is it?"

"That's the deal. Take it or leave it."

"I'll take it." Tony said defeatedly.

* * *

Edith was setting the table for dinner and noticed a wad of papers sticking from Clint's backpack. She picked the top one up and looked at it. In big, bold letters it read:

**YOU ARE INVITED TO THOR AND LOKI'S SLEEPOVER PARTY**

Edith went over to Clint, who was playing Lego Batman on the Xbox with Barney and tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.

Clint looked at her, lowering his controller.

 _You were invited to a sleepover._ Edith signed.

Clint lay his controller in his lap. _Thor and Loki. They have an alien._ He signed back.

 _Are you going?_ Edith signed.

 _Can I?_ Clint looked at his mother. He knew she'd most likely say yes but he still felt he had to ask.

 _Of course. As long as you want to, Clint, it's fine._ Edith signed with a smile.

Edith had wanted Clint to grow up normally, like his brother Barney, but her plans changed when his father and her ex-husband Harold turned on Clint and Barney instead. He hit Clint so hard over the head that he got knocked out and when he came to in hospital, he couldn't hear. Doctors said it'd probably be temporary, but it wasn't. That was when Edith left Harold and went to a women's refuge, stayed there for a few months and moved from Waverly, Iowa to New York City, New York. She never let Clint's hearing issues put him off doing anything and she never treated it as a disability, encouraging him to be the master archer he wanted to be. She knew Clint's friends also knew ASL and Clint could lip-read to an extent, so she was comfortable with him being with them for a night.

"What's going on?" Barney asked.

"Clint's going to a sleepover."

"Yeah, I'm going to a sleepover." Clint repeated.

* * *

At the Odinson's, everyone was gathered outside when Phil arrived with his foster mother.

"You're _coming_?" Rhodey asked. "After Loki _stabbed_ you?"

"It was an accident." Phil shrugged casually. "Besides, I'm better now. Kind of. I mean, I have physical therapy and all. But there's no gaping hole in my chest."

"If your heart got screwed up like mine, I'd have made you an arc reactor." Tony offered. _And a suit of armor_ , he added mentally.

"I'm here too." Steve said.

"His mother insisted he come." Bucky rolled his eyes.

"And she insisted you come too, Bucky." Steve added.

"My mother did." Bucky nodded.

"My parents just let me come." Rhodey said.

 _Same with my mom._ Clint signed.

"He said it was the same with his mom." Phil translated.

"We know. We can all sign a bit." Tony said.

"So, Tony, before you get too cocky, who's that old guy standing by you?" Phil asked.

"He's not old. He's only like... Fifty." Tony shrugged. " _He's_ Jarvis."

"The butler?" Bucky asked.

 _He no come I alone_. Tony signed in choppy sign language.

 _He wouldn't let you come alone_? Clint asked.

Tony nodded. _Scared I think_.

"Tony, what are you doing? Are you communicating in a secret language so I don't understand what you're saying?" Jarvis asked.

"Jarvis, this is my friend Clint." Tony said boredly. "He's Deaf."

"Oh." Jarvis said sheepishly. "Sorry."

Odin opened the door and raised his eyebrow.

"Hello, Tony. Steve. James. Bucky. Phil." He greeted. _And hello, C-L-I-N-T_. He finger spelled in ASL. "You may come in."

The boys rushed inside and Jarvis tried to follow Tony in, but was stopped by Odin.

"Tony will be fine with me, Jarvis."

"I appreciate that, Mr Borson, but-"

Odin closed the door slightly behind him and took a step out. "I shall have you know that I am the actual Asgardian God Odin. Tony will be fine with me." He said again, more insistently.

Upstairs, Bucky was in Odin's study looking through his things.

"Bucky, do you think it's wise to be looking through my father's stuff?" Loki asked,

"I dunno." Bucky opened the filing cabinet. "But it's fun to look." He began leafing through the documents. "Hey I didn't know you had like six older brothers."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes, they are Balder-"

" _Or_ that you were adopted." Bucky said.

"What?" Loki chuckled awkwardly. "I am _not_ adopted. I am Thor's twin brother, I-"

"Mmmmm says here you are." Bucky pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to Loki. An adoption certificate.

With shaking hands, Loki took it and looked it over. "This... This cannot be."

"Oh... Sorry." Bucky tried to take the adoption certificate back, but Loki moved it from his grip.

"I am adopted." Loki said, not quite absorbing the information.

"Does it say your real parents?" Bucky asked curiously.

"Laufey. That's all." Loki blinked.

"I-I'm sorry."

"Yes. You've already said that." Loki remarked.

"Well sorry, I don't know what else to say." Bucky said.

"There is nothing you _can_ say." Loki said. "You opened a can of worms, Bucky. No, you opened Pandora's Box."

"I thought you were Norse-"

"I don't know what I am!" Loki wailed.

Bill poked his head in the door.

The sight of the alien, with his long snout, no nose and no lips made Bucky shriek in horror. "What _is_ that?!"

"That is Bill." Loki said, still looking at the adoption certificate. "He is harmless."

Bucky took some tentative steps towards the door. "Look, are you gonna be-"

"Get out." Loki snapped. "Get Out!"

Bucky did as he was told and rushed downstairs to join the now soured sleepover and Loki and Thor's plans to oust Bill were scuppered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Loki was secretly adopted! What will happen next? When is Ragnarok coming?  
> I can tell you that next time, there will be more Hank Pym! More Scott Lang! More Doreen Green! More Tony Stark! More Clint Barton and more Kate Bishop! And some Thor and Loki and Odin.


End file.
